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Come On In, 
The Staff: 
You Linked Me!
Chris Barrus
These sites are the best that you will find on the internet. You should visit them frequently. Early Influences/Frequent Visits
Big Dark Cloud Dot Com
These folks could have sued me at one time or another during this site's development. Reward them for not prosecuting me for "sampling" their source codes while I was trying to learn how to write my own. Actual google.com searches that resulted in visits to this site:
Xannex
The Worst Of James
May 2001
Miss an update? Can't get enough of my insightful commentary? Have no fear. I save everything I put up. Even the stupid stuff I wish I'd have deleted long ago. |
May 28 - It's an, um, "Obsession".  But hey, if he's looking for more stupid merchandising ideas, I'm here... And keeping with the spirit of crass commercialism... This Update Is Brought To You By:  Dole Pineapples I love pineapples. Who cares when pineapple season is supposed to be? Go out and get one. Make sure you hollow out the rind so you can use it as a margarita mug. And when you carve out the pineapple meat, you'll find that it's one of the most versatile fruits on the planet. Excellent on everything from cakes to ham to chicken, and even darn tasty unaccompanied, Dole pineapples bring tropical refreshment to you. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 27 - Yeah, I know...
But for every complete assholism in the book, there's at least one corresponding nugget of divine wisdom. Repeated endorsements of total sobriety. A surprisingly Puritanical work ethic. A rousing display of American patriotism, which is refreshing when one takes into consideration that Gene Simmons isn't from America. He achieved his dreams, on his own terms, through nothing less than hard work and a little (ok, a LOT) of luck. If that doesn't make him respectable in the eyes of many... Well, at least he's still got his Polaroid collection to tide him over. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 26 - Advertising vs. Extortion So I've started exploring a few options to rectify this situation.  Robbing people. But since I'm not really cut out for jail time, that's probably not in my best interest. Sure, working is no fun at all, but prison rape would be *slightly* less pleasant. So I move on to option 2...  Selling out to The Man. Yeah right. Even if I did, I'd imagine The Man still would find a way to keep me down. The Man's like that. The Lord loves a working man, and you can't trust Whitey. (2 points to the first person who can tell me where I got that line!)  Charging people $1/year for site access Well, I think $1/year would be reasonable. I'm infinitely more entertaining than Dave Barry, and reading his crap costs you (at least) the price of a Sunday paper, every WEEK. But then again, I get an awful lot of accidental hits from people who end up being regular visitors. Those folks wouldn't pay a buck to get in. And charging would probably piss off a lot of folks who already visit regularly. Plus, then I'd actually have to put more effort into things. Scratch that idea for now. So I'm gonna offer some product endorsements. These are things that I actually use and enjoy in my everyday life, and would love to see other people enjoy them as much as I do. I'll start with something that's near and dear to my heart. This Update Is Brought To You By:  Simply Orange orange juice That's right. I love this stuff. I grew up in Florida, and one of my most cherished memories is pulling oranges off of the tree and juicing them. I'd been a fan of some other premium brands of "not-from-concentrate" juices, but Simply Orange simply buries them all. It's the real deal. You just can't get a better glass of orange juice unless you own your own grove. And by comparison, a bottle of Simply Orange is much more cost effective. In addition to the best glass of orange juice you could drink, you're also getting the health benefits of Vitamin C. Visit their website at www.simplyorangejuice.com for more details, and a list of place where you can find some for yourself. I should mention that I get mine from Safeway (Arden Way location in Sacramento). If you're in the Sacramento area (and I know that I am), stop by and pick up a bottle or two. I sent email to both of these companies telling them that I was gonna do this... If they're out there, appreciate the positive feedback, and want to send me lots of free stuff, loads of cash, or just email, I'm very accomodating. If they're thinking to themselves "This James guy is a total crackpot and I wish he'd remove all references to the good name of our company", well, that'll cost you... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 25 - You have GOT to be kidding me...  Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 24 - Quick Dumb Fun  Oh yeah, I finally got around to updating My CD Collection. I picked up about 50 more over the past few weeks... I need help. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 23 - Got It All Wrong... Or it could mean nothing at all. But nonetheless, thanks for not visiting here this week and taking the pressure off of me to do anything of substance. Not much traffic this week. But ironically, the Message Board is doing quite nicely. Go figure. I'm actually starting (starting...yeah right!) to get burned out at work. I think it's been noticed by a bunch of people around whom I've generally been really good about keeping my composure. So much so, that even my boss just scheduled me for a long vacation. That'll be pretty sweet... Even though it's a long ways away, I've already started doing some planning for it. I'm thinking a 6,000 mile round-trip drive with stops in locales of loyal FJ.com readers might be fun... Of course, nothing I plan ever turns out like I envision. But mark my words - cheeseburgers will be eaten, oceans will be surfed, and golf courses will be triple-bogeyed. And I guess I could start thinking about another little possibility... (don't click that link unless you've got some time - it'll take a while to load) Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 19 - Envy Me But don't you worry... Whenever I figure out some things, I'll be sure to be vague and evasive, and never really mention any of the behind-the-scenes stuff that permeates my everyday existence... Par for the course. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 17 - Too Much Time On My Hands - Not Just A Song By Styx I'll have to reprint the letters I've received, and the responses. Might be kind of funny. It might also help out an idiotic friend of mine, who really seems to believe that this scam "just might be legit". Trust me - no one with millions of dollars will send out an unsolicited email asking for a stranger's assistance to launder it overseas. Especially if they've got a Yahoo email address. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 16 - Figures!  Thinking that this is the coolest thing to happen to this club in a few weeks ( Larger Than Life, the Ultimate Tribute To Kiss played there last month), I whipped out my credit card and bought a shirt for the occasion:  And of course, I have to work that night and will likely miss the whole thing. Yeah. Life is fair... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 15 - Time's Makin' Changes Even when I play stuff I write myself, it doesn't sound right. There's something missing, and I can't put my finger on it at all. I spent years learning every note from every Tesla album, and have even gotten to play the songs with, well, let's just say that I've played them with some folks who know the songs pretty well. But even stuff that seems second-nature just doesn't sound right. Not too long ago I bought myself some presents and spent way too much money on some new gear, but once the buzz wore off, it still sounds like me playing. Wonder if it's time to take up the drums... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 14 - Don't let the open door policy hit you in the ass when
we downsize you... Another lesson in perspective from your ol' buddy James... But on the good side, life's half over. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 13 - Well, it's *almost* like actually working... Of course, that subtle change will continually look like crap until I make another one (that's also on the agenda)... But that'd take some effort. And I'd have to go back and do it to all of the archived old posts to make everything consistent. I'm not really feeling like putting in any unpaid overtime on something like this. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 12 - Just one question...  It's not broken, but it was pretty ugly on Saturday night. I also had a big fat lip. I looked like a cross between a post-bass solo Gene Simmons and an ultra-pouty Bret Michaels for a while immediately afterwards... Great mental image, huh? Don't worry, I'll save the part about rolling my ankle over and turning it into hamburger for another day... And yes, I know I suck at soccer, and that's one of the reasons I get my ass kicked almost every week. I'm gonna have to find another hobby... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 11 - No Work + No Play = FJ.COM Plus, I just woke up one day and felt older. Of course, I was... But let's not go there. I actually stopped celebrating birthdays at the age of 25. Once I could drive, get into R-movies, drink a beer at The Roadhouse, and rent a car, I decided to stop aging. I've no interest in running for Congress (besides, I trust neither voters nor politicians - any function involving actual breathing human beings trying to think is destined to fail miserably) so there's no more age-specific restriction left to overcome. I figure I'll pick it up the aging process again at 59 and a half, when I can close out my 401k without penalty. Then I want a damn parade every year. But for now, I'm keeping it low key. Regardless, thanks to those of you who took a minute to send an email or give a quick call... It's always appreciated. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 10 - The Plan...  Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 7 - Where do the days go? Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 6 - As expected... Between that and the Random Blind Links page, you should be entertained for hours. Ok, minutes. Alright, not at all, but it still counts as a site update. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop May 4 - Dude! Don't hold your breath about an update tomorrow either. I'm gonna celebrate my Mexican heritage and knock back a margarita or 6 afer work. Vaya con Dio.  Oh yeah. I'm not Mexican. But I still wish you a Happy Cinco. And yes, I'll post the things I'd already wrote in a few days, provided they're still timely. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop |
Caution - No Lifeguard On Duty Summer Vacation
Surf Info
Required Listening
KXOA.com - Sacramento's Hard Rock
Go see the above bands in concert often. Buy multiple copies of their cds. Join the mailing lists. Patronize the above clubs and tip your bartender generously. Especially at the Roadhouse. And listen to Chicks Who Rock. |
Everybody's favorite mogul, 
So when ol' Gene dropped his newest creation,
the self-help book of sorts "Sex Money Kiss", I made sure to snag one of the autographed ones for my collection.
It's full of unrepentant Gene - Money is everything. I don't care what you think. I will never get married, and
will continue to sleep with as many people as I want, and you should too.