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June 28 - Just wondering... I wanna know... Where do companies stick billions of dollars such that the accountants, managers, and investors don't notice it's not there until the CEO is testifying before Congress and everyone else is losing their job? Where does it go, and whose job is it to get it there? And are they hiring? email : : Message BORED June 27 - Elk Grove, California. Ri-God-Damned-diculous. I do know one thing for sure. If there really is a God, He's gotta be rolling His eyes in amazement at us. Surely stupidity like this can't be part of the master plan, unless God is truly cruel and just puts morons on the Earth for the amusement of people like me. email : : Message BORED June 26 - Technical difficulties Since I've made the stats page public, it's become the most popular site feature this month. Who'd have thunk it? Even skimming through previous months, looks like there were some folks who snuck in and checked it out. I certainly never look at it more than a time or two a week, but it's been responsible for quite a bit of traffic. Weird. People find the strangest things interesting. There are finally some new posts on the message board. Good to see a little life over there. But just to be a prick, I should remind everyone that I don't monitor it at all. If (when) *this* page is boring, that's my fault. If the message board is boring, that's *your* fault. You folks control that. And I know there are more people that read the site than the board would indicate. Introduce yourself and go sling some mud. Make a friend. Or piss someone off. Just make sure you speak your mind over there and post, 'cause updates over here might be a little sporadic until I figure out why my computer keeps crashing. Lord knows I'm not technical enough to figure it out quickly, or motivated enough to do actual work to solve the problem. Probably nothing that $2000 and an afternoon at a Gateway store can't fix... In other news, I'm dusting off a few site features that have been grossly ignored for too long. Which ones? Stick around and find out. email : : Message BORED June 25 - Another modest proposal...
Now don't get me wrong, they could raise the price of cigarettes to $75 a pack and it wouldn't bother me in the least. But to ask me to support a tax that will be used for educational purposes to prevent other people from smoking, or to fund health care? C'mon now... Is there ANYONE out there who doesn't already know that smoking will kill you? How stupid do you have to be to NOT know that already? I'm pretty sure the proceeds from such legislation would go to line the pockets of "concerned activists", and not to make more of those really cool commercials featuring Tracheotomy Girl. Plus, I know my government and how well they handle surpluses and additional revenue. Hell, I'm still waiting for that middle class tax cut Clinton promised us back in 92. So I sent this email back to her:
I'll let you know if she ever responds. email : : Message BORED June 24 - Rough seas ahead. I can't tell whether spending so much time at work means I'm just hardworking, or motivated, or dedicated, or just too lazy to look for something better. Maybe it's time to start drinking heavily. email : : Message BORED June 23 - On second thought email : : Message BORED June 22 - Idle Hands... As has been mentioned on the message board, this site's been pretty damn boring. Especially lately. I just haven't been into updating it with the few free minutes each day I get. It was never supposed to be work - I didn't really design it for a lot of people to read. I don't go out and solicit links, hardly mention it to people in real life, and could count on one hand the number of times I've said the URL out loud. But for some reason, people drop by. I've gone ahead and made the site statistics for 2002 readable too, because some people have asked. I'll update the report as I see fit (don't hold your breath) but if you want to see for yourself, be my guest. I'll probably also have to put up something in the FAQ section about how to interpret all of the columns. Maybe later. Guess you've also noticed that I made a few changes. Designed a new logo and changed some of the colors around. Also made a few other more subtle changes that few of you will notice. Hope you like them. One of these days maybe I'll work up the motivation to put effort into the site again. But if it ever starts feeling like work and not just like sending a quick email to the world, I'll pull the plug on it faster than the 80s metal bands got dropped by the major labels. But, on this week's agenda - A shameless plug for Chicks Who Rock because it's Saturday, some 80s metal trivia, movies that should have been released (but never were), maybe a little fawning over girls that don't really like me all that much, and the usual assortment of bitching, moaning, and complaining that you've come to expect. If the Chefs get their acts together and write some new updates this week too, it could actually be a pretty good week. email : : Message BORED June 21 - Coulda, Shoulda, Didn't...  It became:  email : : Message BORED June 20 - New Job! email : : Message BORED June 19 - Maybe later email : : Message BORED June 18 - Youth Gone Wild So as you can already tell, this update isn't gonna have much substance. But you're in luck. The Happy Hour Chef has posted a new column and recipe. Enjoy. And designate a driver. email : : Message BORED June 17 - The truth about cats and dogs... It's late, I just got home from work, and I still haven't checked my email for a few days. Apologies to anyone who sent one expecting a (timely) reply. I've been pretty terrible about writing lately. But I'm not alone... Well, maybe I am. The message board has been pretty damn slow lately. Guess everyone came to their senses and realized this place just ain't all that much fun. What the heck took you so long? In 80s metal news, got an unexpected surprise... Chicks Who Rock's website has been updated! I usually check out the concert listing page every week or so anyways. But on a whim, I went through the photo page too. They actually borrowed some of my pics from the Poison/Cinderella/Winger/Faster Pussycat show from a few weeks ago. (They asked if they could, but I didn't think they would actually do it because I don't think they came out very well) Very cool. It almost makes me feel important. Well, not really... Go check 'em out and tell 'em James says hello. Got some bills to pay this week. All the fun I had a few weeks ago is coming back to haunt me now. At least I get the Spanish channel for free, so I've got some soccer to watch. Adios amigos. Time to go check out the World Cup - the US plays Mexico. That ought to be good for killing about an hour and a half... and for making sure that I'm completely exhausted at work again. Some things never change... email : : Message BORED June 16 - Just for fun... But if you ask me, it sounds more like a scam than a legitimate employment contract. Still might be fun. And if it doesn't work out? At least I'd be close to Disney World... email : : Message BORED June 15 - Soliciting a spot on IdiotWeb.com First, after complaining about working too much and being burned out, what did I do? Logged a 15 hour day. I hadn't been sleeping well for the last few weeks. But let me tell you, when I finally got home at about 10:30 on Friday night, I slept for almost 12 straight hours. That's pretty rare for me - usually I get by on about 5.
So I get there, loosen up a little and get ready. ON THE VERY FIRST DRIVE, I zigged when I should have zagged, and pulled my hamstring. For those unfamiliar with sports injuries, it's one of the most painful and and slowest-healing varieties. Being mentally tough, I didn't sub out. More accurately, being an IDIOT, I didn't sub out. I figured I could walk it off and stretch it out and be just fine. Long story short - nope. I signalled and asked to be pulled out of the game. But we were a little shorthanded, so I went right back in after a short break. Then, the front line (I play defense) got winded, and I was asked to play midfield. For those unfamiliar with soccer, midfield is the position that requires the most running and the ability to stop and shift quickly. Not a very pleasant position to play when you can hardly walk. But I didn't wuss out, and even took a shot on goal. So here I am, ready to cut my leg off to ease the pain. I know it's gonna be pure agony going to work. Thank goodness I work the late shift, which means it will be impossible to put in overtime. Hey, at least I go in early on Monday... email : : Message BORED June 14 - Whining or winning? I probably shouldn't really talk about stuff like that here. For some reason, this site is rather popular with people who work with me. But I gotta be honest - I'm really getting burned out. The harder I work, the more work I get. The more work I get, the less valuable my time becomes because I'm salaried. If I lose ability to keep up, I'm easily replaceable. But I find it hard to separate myself from my work. And let's be brutally honest - my work isn't that important in the grand scheme of the world. I'm no doctor. I'm very expendable. I don't even own the place, so the financial rewards aren't mine when success comes. If I left tomorrow, no one would notice. I've got more personal and vacation time accrued than is legally allowed. And I'm losing it because I can't get away. Scary treadmill to be stuck on - I can't get away because I know tasks will suffer. But I'm suffering because I can't get away without worrying about them. My house is a mess, I've got no time for friends or hobbies, and there are very few things that I even care about anymore. It's impossible to work up the motivation to clean a house I never see except to sleep and feed cats. But I hate not having the energy to pick it up, and feel especially guilty when I spend a rare day off doing nothing at all - even though that's exactly what I should be doing to try and recharge my batteries. I also really hate defining myself by a job for a company that would replace me with a talking chimp if they thought it would make the stock price go up a quarter point. Which side will win the battle? Stay tuned, 'cause even I don't know. I'm the hardest working, yet laziest, SOB on the planet. And it scares the hell out of me. email : : Message BORED June 13 - Venom. First, I caught part of that American Idol show. It'd be easy to bash on the 10,000 fools that really think they have what it takes to become singers. There was a pretty diverse mix of talentless, talented, beautiful, and freaky-looking folks. But what really struck me was the judging panel. C'mon. Who are these losers? That English guy is just a complete tool. He's even more annoying than that bitchy lunchlady who hosted the Weakest Link. Maybe he was contracted to be the nasty guy. I sure hope he saved whatever money he made from that show, 'cause with that personality he'd be lucky to get a job judging dog shows. He wants to show us that the audition process is not pleasant... Whatever. Asshole. The fat black guy was so boring I'm gonna skip him altogether. He's not even worth the time and effort it would take to puke up a decent insult. Rounding out the panel was someone who has NO business at all judging talent. PAULA friggin' ABDUL. You've got to be kidding me. Having that tone-deaf bimbette judge singing skill is like having me judge website design. It's amazing what an ugly ex-high school cheerleader can do with a fisheye lens and multi-tracked vocals. (Especially when 2 of those tracks were OTHER PEOPLE). I'm just hoping that the rest of the music industry one day catches up with reality and realizes that hiring dancers and making them into shitty singers is just a bad idea for everyone. (Are you reading this, J-Lo?) And once again proving that L.A. is the place most deserving of the tube when the state of California needs an enema, the Lakers won the NBA Finals. How did the city celebrate? By rioting. First off, when my team wins, I don't tear up my living room. Second, even DOGS don't shit in their own beds. But L.A. residents have always been dumber than dogs. When things don't go well, they riot. When things do, they riot. Imbeciles. I say we just leave the damage alone, send the cops home, and give city workers the day off so they don't have to clean up the bullshit. My final target (today)... The "lovely and talented" Paul Marshall from KRXQ here in Sacramento. No link 'cause he's a jerk. This guy really deserves an especially itchy chronic venereal disease. He actually runs a shitty 80s metal show, but spends most of it talking smack about the bands. Even his webpage talks shit about the show. He referred to Robbin Crosby on-air as "tits up" while playing Ratt songs. Hey, I'm all for subversive humor, but that's just wrong, especially in the same week as his death. What a dick. He also did an in-store appearance for a friend of mine, and spent the whole time he wasn't being a prick on the air begging for free shit from the store. 80s metal show or not, he's an asshole. Hey Paul, Metal Sludge you're not. Just play the songs, shut the fuck up, and leave the comedy to people with a vague clue as to what sarcasm and parody represent. Thank you. I feel lousy. And I'll bet I'm gonna read this in a day or two and probably really regret posting it... email : : Message BORED June 12 - Dammit. Been asked to publish a stats page. Is there anybody who would really get a kick out of that? If anyone wants to see the reports I get from my hosting service, I'll be happy to post 'em. But in all honesty, I already pick out the unusual search queries and countries of visitors (which is the only thing I personally care about) and post those. But hey, if anyone really thinks it'd be cool to see how many hits are the result of folks using Windows NT vs Windows 98, let me know. I could have the report up in a matter of minutes. email : : Message BORED June 11 - Pictures worth a thousand words. I do know this pic was taken on June 7, sometime after the Poison show. Oh yeah, I promised you all some stories, didn't I? Well, I'll go ahead and share a few... First off, I rented a room at the resort. I didn't want to spend a lot of money, but all they had left were deluxe suites with hot tubs and fireplaces. Oh well, I suppose I'll suffer... Here's a shot of the view from my balcony:  Oh yeah. Mountains, lakes, and trees. No cash registers in sight. Here was my room:  So I'm feeling REALLY good, even though this trip is already setting me back more than I want to think about. I unwind a little from the drive up in the hot tub, then proceed to get ready for the show. Look, I know I'm not an especially attractive person. But I do know a thing or two about pulling off that whole "rock guy from 1987" look. I won't go into details, but let's just say I was very appropriately dressed. Ran into some friends who dressed even more flashy than me. It was funny, every time we went to get a(nother) drink, we got stopped and had "fans" ask us to pose with them for pictures. One lady said, "You must be famous, so will you sign my ticket stub?" We obliged. Over the course of the concert, I signed 3 different autographs and posed for about 5 pics with total strangers (not counting the one up top). Lots of guys who just wanted to give a high five or shake hands. Lots of girls who grabbed at hair. (Yes, it's real.) And the strangest thing of all... After the show, we went to a bar. It was pretty crowded, but there didn't seem to be a whole lot of rock-n-roll looking folks there. So we were sticking out a little. While we were talking, I hear this guy mention to someone else: "I know those guys... Where do I know them from?" Right as he said that, we were asked by a group of girls to pose for pics with them. Either they thought we were famous, or we had just been set up and are about to have out ugly mugs on www.mulletsgalore.com or something. Anyhow, after watching us take pics with strangers, this guy felt the need to come up and start talking about his upcoming compilation cd. HE ACTUALLY OFFERED US A SPOT ON IT, AND SAID HE'D FINANCE A DEMO RECORDING. I was offered a recording deal based on long hair and leather pants. I don't remember it being that easy when I actually played. The best part - he kept asking me who I was. I only told him, "James". When pressed, I just told him I was on vacation and trying to keep a low profile (which was mostly true), and that he should just leave a business card and I'd get back to him. When he left to go get one, my friend busted out laughing and suggested we bail before he got back. We did and went back inside. HE TRACKED US DOWN. Long story made short - never accept a professional offer from a guy whose business is based on soliciting longhaired strangers in clubs. Yeah, I'm definitely gonna go back there for the Tesla show in August. Maybe I can get a whole cd recorded out of it. Or at least run into the girl from the top of the update again... email : : Message BORED June 10 - Weird. email : : Message BORED June 8 - Too much fun... I probably shouldn't even be giving them any more publicity... but Faster Pussycat is just friggin' sad these days. I had such a blast listening to the cds in the 80s. Live, they used to be OK. But now it's a joke. I used to think that Taime Downe was just one of those tortured-soul "artiste" types, and that his many image and sound changes were the result of a creative and evolving personality. Now I think he's just an annoying prick with an 8 year old mentality who lives to scream "Hey look at me, I need attention". Case in point - He stayed in the same building as me for the show. When I pulled in, he was sitting in the parking lot wearing a dress. When they took the stage, they were all dressed like Nazis. I know it's a calculated move just to get people talking about the band again, but I think that maybe laying off the drugs and concentrating on performing might be a little more effective in the long run. You can see a pretty huge Marilyn Manson influence on Taime lately, but I've got a news flash just for him - People aren't buying Marilyn Manson records anymore either. Taime - get your head out of your ass and thank your lucky stars that ANYONE is willing to take Faster Pussycat out on tour, much less a band that draws thousands every night. But I still think your first cd is a classic. The surprise of the evening - Winger. I've always thought Reb Beach was a good guitarist, but I was never a Winger fan. I just put them into the same category as Loverboy - a pre-packaged band for maximum commercial impact without much regard for substance. But after seeing them on Friday, I was wrong. They were tight, focused, and ROCKED. I was very impressed, and now fully endorse them on this tour. Kip Winger deserves much more respect than he gets. I was even motivated to stand! That says an awful lot. Cinderella and Poison - what else can I say? They still deliver the goods. There's nothing I could say here that hasn't been repeated a hundred times. Go check out this tour. More stories tomorrow... I'm pretty beat. email : : Message BORED June 7 - R.I.P. Robbin Crosby  Sad news to report. Robbin Crosby, founding member of Ratt, lost his long battle with AIDS yesterday. Robbin was a close friend of Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue and by all accounts, a pretty cool guy. Were it not for Robbin and Ratt, the L.A. metal scene might never have happened in quite the same way. Rest in peace, Robbin. We'll miss you, but at least we have some great musical memories of you. You'll never be forgotten. And yes, I know that Dee Dee Ramone also died yesterday. But that'll get reported everywhere. Though every bit as deserving of a dignified obituary, Robbin Crosby's untimely death will probably go largely unnoticed by the general public. It's unfortunate and wrong on so many levels. Deepest condolences to friends, family, and fellow fans. email : : Message BORED June 6 - Finally! Also caught an interesting surprise. I've been a member of an 80s Metal Mailing List for several years now. I've gotten some pretty good information off of it, the odd concert review, opinions about cds that slip beneath the radar, etc... But I've always kept a low profile on it. I could probably count the posts I've made on one hand. Anyhow, someone read a post of mine, and asked something to the effect of "What is James 'famus" for?" Before I could post a snotty answer like "It's the only f-word people ever called me that I could repeat" I forgot about it and went to bed. The next day, I saw that my name was a new subject, and there were several responses. Kinda weird to read email from other people discussing me. But, being consistent with the narcissistic attention slut-persona that I created for this site, I'll reprint the first letter of the thread:
Damn! Pretty cool, huh? I'm a bona fide topic on a discussion group. But I should clarify... I haven't talked to Brian Wheat but once or twice since
Tesla re-formed and started working regularly again. And those "great" pictures? OK,
I'll let everyone in on a secret... I don't even own a camera. I use those little cheap crappy disposable ones. I don't even have a
regular brand. Whichever one's on sale works for me. Then I take them to the mall, and have 'em developed onto a cd. I use my
But the 80s Metal Preservation Society stuff is all true. I wish I had the time to run it again. It was a blast, and I dare say very much ahead of it's time. This was before those VH-1 Behind the Music Specials, before the Poison summer tours, and even before Kiss had become a parody of itself. You know what? It was even before there were any radio stations here that would dare play a Ratt song past 1989. I WISH Chicks Who Rock would have been around when that group was together! We could have taken over the world. Oh well. I did (and continue to do) my part to keep the good stuff alive. I've just had to acknowledge the bad stuff a little more... email : : Message BORED June 5 - I need a hobby. I hope someone replies. email : : Message BORED June 4 - I should be in marketing.  Thank your lucky stars the "Land Mine Mint with Coconut Shrapnel" idea didn't pan out... email : : Message BORED June 3 - I'm not disappointed. Also thought I should mention that I've got 2nd row center seats for the upcoming Poison show at Konocti Harbor this Friday. Think I'm gonna head up early, stay the night, and make a mini-vacation out of it. Or at least spend the afternoon stacking my hair up to stratosphere... email : : Message BORED June 2 - Excess baggage... For some strange reason, I've been overrun with a case of excessive shyness lately. By nature, I'm already a very introverted person who marches to a different beat. It's not unusual for me to go to concerts alone, or to a restaurant, or just for a walk around the neighborhood. I don't mind because sometimes I'll run into a friend at one of these activities. But even if I don't, I figure hey, at least I got to see a show/eat a meal/etc. So it wasn't abnormal for me to drive about a million miles to go see a Quiet Riot show by myself. It was even at a casino, and I had a ton of cash. I've seen Quiet Riot so many times that quite often, some of the band members stop to say hello to me. So I'm very much in my element here - sleazy club, casino, money, metal. Sitting around waiting for the show to start, feeling pretty good. A little bummed because I didn't see anyone I knew, but nonetheless, in a decent state of mind. I had brought all of the cd jackets that hadn't been signed in previous meetings, and even managed to get right up against the stage. As they were running through their setlist, I would hold up the corresponding cover to show them I knew the song. Yeah, it's pretty geeky, but Rudy Sarzo and Kevin DuBrow seemed impressed. Kevin even held up one of the covers and thanked me from the stage. So after the show, Quiet Riot always does a meet-and-greet. They pose for pictures, sign stuff, and just generally schmooze with fans for a little while. I'm walking to the end of the line, and two sleazy-looking girls ask if I'd been up front yet. When I told them no, one grabs my arm and offers me the chance to cut in line and wait with them. I didn't know what to do. I actually said, "No thanks, I'm gonna go get a drink first". What was I thinking? I had no plans to go get a drink. And I was feeling a little lonely. But for some reason the idea of talking to them made me very uncomfortable. So I get up to the table, and again, lose my ability to converse. I was too shy to ask for autographs on my cd liner notes. While others were getting napkins signed, and other assorted crap that totally indicated no support of the band over the years, I couldn't bring myself to ask for a pic, an autograph, or anything. AND I'M A REAL FAN! All I could get out was a "Thanks for coming out here". I walked away, unsigned liner notes in hand, and got back into my car to drive back home. Pathetic. So I go to the Dave Meniketti show last night. It was at a club I practically live at during concert season. For some reason, my shyness took over again. The server who sees me there all the time and even already knows what I drink said hello, but I couldn't respond with anything more than an awkward smile. Fer cryin' out loud, I couldn't even bring myself to go say hello to Staci Anderson from Chicks Who Rock. Now, even though she's generally surrounded by other people, and I respect her privacy, I've never felt uncomfortable about at least going up and saying hello. But for some reason, I couldn't. So I just nursed my drink by myself. I did manage to get a pic with Dave Meniketti, but couldn't bring myself to ask him to sign any of the cd liner notes I brought. Weird. Apologies to anyone who might have thought I was being rude. Believe me, it wasn't an intentional snub. I sure hope I get over this soon - there's a Poison show this week, and I'd really like to go and not feel like a burden. Ironic that the one thing I most crave (friendship and companionship) is also the hardest thing for me to feel comfortable about pursuing. email : : Message BORED June 1 - Sneak preview On an unrelated side note, watch for next month's collector's "commemorative farewell issue" and for Gene to issue a statement to the effect of: "I couldn't in good conscience rip off the fans by providing a sub-par knockoff of something already more successful, and the money generated by the publishing company wouldn't meet the requirements necessary to continue issuing a high-quality publication that you deserve like my original conception for GENE SIMMONS TONGUE..." But your pals over at FJ.com have managed to get a copy of the magazine before it hits stands. There are 2 collector's issues, each featuring different material, but both including the words to "Rock N Roll All Nite". Presented here are the "deluxe foldout" cover (which is available for an additional $4.99), and the "standard" issue which retails for $3.99.   I can say stuff like that. I've been a KISS fan for far longer than I should have been. Now go tune your radios to Chicks Who Rock (it's Saturday, did you really think I wouldn't bring that up?) and patiently wait for me to tell my Quiet Riot story and get my Dave Meniketti pics developed... email : : Message BORED |
My computer keeps freezing. Total failure that responds to nothing, necessitating a reboot and
loss of whatever I was working on. One of these days I'm gonna reboot it right through the friggin' window. 
Dogs don't puke on the kitchen counter. I'll just say that at
least the puke I just had to clean up was familiar. A normal day at work can't offer such a guarantee.
Had a late soccer game today, too. (For the record, I was a soccer fan and player before World Cup
fever got coverage in American papers and all of the drooling mass yahoos at various offices around the country realized that
the sport consists of much more than just 11 pony-tailed foreigners in fruity shorts.) I used to be quite good at the sport, but
injuries and age have taken their toll. So now I mostly play just to keep in shape and get out of the house. 
Cell phones piss me off. I know they're convenient, but
I just can't stand them. I actually threw mine away 'cause I got tired of people finding me when I didn't want to be found. Turning
it off just wasn't an option at the time. I had to be accessible and prepared to solve work-related crises at any moment. Catch is,
those moments only seemed to come when I was trying to concentrate on sinking a long putt, or getting the charcoal to the right temperature.
It never really mattered what I had planned for my free time, work always seemed to find a way to ruin it. I stopped wearing a watch
several years ago, too. I often tell people in a joking manner that, "I refuse to be a slave to THE MAN's concept of time". But the
truth is I don't want to think about how many hours I've spent at work. I spend extra hours almost every day, and go in on days
off. I also work from home and do administrative tasks I can never finish at the office in addition to that. Someone even commented
that they wished they could do the same, that they didn't have family to worry about so they could work like I do. Personally, I think
that's insane. If I could, I'd chuck it all away and never work again if I had the money, the wife, and the kids. I could be a
family man and be just fine with that - live off of investments or something without worrying about what someone else thinks
about my productivity level.
Anyone know who this girl is? I've no idea. Help an idiot out. I was too dumb to ask
for her name, number, email address, or anything. Who took it? Why is CC DeVille is standing in front of us and not posing in the
pic too? But it's not too often that I smile in pictures, and it looks like I almost did in this one.
I'm gonna share something I probably shouldn't. Won't come as a shock to those who know me pretty well, but there
are a lot of folks who only know me very casually, and this might surprise them a little.