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November 30 - Messin' With The Kids Subj: I love you britney That was it. Nothing inside, just the subject line. Of course, I couldn't let it go... I immediately responded: Subj: Re: I love you britney I'll let you know if I get another response... But on the bright side, it looks like I've managed to book a direct flight to Hell... No layovers in purgatory or anything now... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 29 - Born In The USA
Yeah, baby. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some foreigner-bashing to do... (found that link on www.houseogroove.com/cuppa, by the way.) Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 28 - Ooh Baby So on a whim, I decided to see just how much the times have changed,' and submitted another pic. Within minutes, I found out something about myself that so many others have yet to discover about themselves - mediocrity. I also find it kinda funny that I've got so many 1's and 2's... I know I'm not especially attractive, but I really don't think I merit a 1 or 2. Oh well... In the interest of keeping my face viewable to the drunken horny masses, I present the picture and real-time update of my hotornot account... Boost my ego, smack me down. I could care less. Think I might sneak a bunch of other pics up there and try to see what the lowest score I could generate would be... Maybe one right after I cut myself shaving... another one wearing lipstick and cross-eyed... and one with my hair totally covering my face.... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 27 - Upon further review... But rather than wallow in self-loathing and post some angst-filled indictment that'll only get me featured on www.losers.org, I've chosen to take another slightly more festive approach. So I present the official FJ.com list of "Thanksgiving Phrases That Sound Dirty When Said With A Sly Grin, But Really Aren't" 1) Stuffing the turkey. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 26 - Sneak Preview... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 25 - Just a thought... Quit your bitching. Spending time with your family is not a punishment. Eat your friggin' dinner, smile for the portraits, and thank your lucky stars that you even have a family who loves you enough to either invite you over or accept your invitation. Appreciate it while you can, because you never know which Thanksgiving will be the last one you get with them. There are a lot of folks who don't even have families anymore. And there are also a lot of folks like me, who have to work during the holiday season and live 3000 miles away from their closest relatives. Few things piss me off more than listening to people complain about how much they dread being with their families. Pretty ironic that on the day we set aside to give thanks for what we have, so many of us miss the point completely and complain about it. No wonder the rest of the world hates Americans... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 24 - Come back later... Oh yeah... Regarding that silly little video I posted yesterday... Believe it or not, I've never had any professional juggling lessons. Shocking, I know. And no animals were hurt during the making of it, but one did get beaned in the side of the head by the last errant toss. But to prove he's ok, here's a shot of the mildly testy, yet uninjured, feline:  I'm gonna have to save those bean bags... They could come in very handy when I feel the need to throw something at the TV. But I'm still a fan... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 22 - Wanna See Something Stupid? Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 21 - I Have Questions, You Have Answers  Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 20 - Truth In Advertising
Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 19 - Pulled I'll just say that I've got better things to do than try to keep tabs on anyone. And you should too. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 18 - Lots of stuff No update to My CD Collection, because the database was lost. I'd been maintaining it accurately on my old computer, but only loading the collection to the site host's server on sporadic occasions. SO when my old computer died, the spreadsheet was lost. The collection listed here is under-represented. And there's no way I'm gonna go through that mess again in the near future. So I'll just share what I picked up, with a few random thoughts here instead... Sammy Hagar & The Waboritas - Not 4 Sale: Umm, Sammy, NO "Mas Tequila"... Actually, it's a pretty decent record. I just thought that sounded funny... Eric Martin - I'm Goin' Sane: Good cd. Much heavier than his earlier solo works, but still with a soulful R&B/poppy edge. It's still probably not quite comercial enough to get played on American radio though. But I bet it goes triple platinum in Japan. Confederate Railroad - The Essentials: They like their women a little on the trashy side. This is secretly a Poison record. Travis Tritt - The Rockin' Side: He has long hair, he wears leather, and he cites Aerosmith as an influence. He told record execs to kiss his ass when they told him to change his name and image. He does drugs and runs around on his women. How much more 80s metal can one guy be? Don't let the fact that he's from Georgia fool you - Travis rocks. Rhett Akins - Friday Night In Dixie: Either his early records glistened in studio polish, this guy's voice is shot, or the producer sucks. Wait a minute, Rhett produced it himself... Umm... I'll just say that the songs are there, and I really like Rhett's first two cds. How's that? Billy Squier - Classic Masters and Don't Say No: Holy crap, I'm old. Don't Say No came out in 1981, and I bought it on tape from a record club. (My mom doesn't know how many times I pulled the "12 for a penny" scam when I was a kid, so, SHHHHH!!!!) Anyways, I had to have both of them, even though there are about 5 songs of overlap between them. The J. Geils Band - Showtime! and Best Of: This was amongst the first groups that I ever started collecting. You could say they were the gateway drug that turned me into a raving music junkie. To this day, I still love 'em and thank 'em for it, even though my family probably should have scheduled an intervention right before high school... Twisted Sister - Big Hits and Nasty Cuts: WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO WITH YOUR LIFE? Remember when these guys were considered menacing and cutting edge? When they were fighting for our "rights" and standing up against censorship? I'd give up my left arm to hear Dee Snider's reaction when his kid brings home an Insane Clown Posse cd... UFO - Essential UFO: Ok... This band featured Michael Schenker, brother to Rudolf Schenker from Scorpions, a big favorite of mine. And Tesla's one of my lifetime favorite bands. They used Dan McClendon as an engineer an their early works. When Tesla was broken up, Brian Wheat played in a band called Soulmotor with Tommy McClendon. Tommy McClendon replaced Michael Schenker in UFO (he was credited under the name "Atomik Tommy M"). So even though Tommy didn't play a note on this cd, you can see that I HAD to buy it... Good Lord, I need help... Bon Jovi - Cross Road: Frankly, I'm embarassed that I DIDN'T have this cd in my collection years ago. Actually, I very well may. But since I can't find it right now, this will suffice nicely. Kix - The Essentials: Did Kix ever have any songs that could be considered "essential"? Didn't think so. But these guys were always a guilty pleasure of mine. I probably played "Midnite Dynamite" a thousand times when I was a kid. Wonder if it's available on cd... Boston - Boston: Sib has the coolest white-guy 'fro since Magic Dick from the J. Geils Band. You should all own this cd for this reason only. Jimmy Buffett - All The Great Hits: How can you NOT love a Buffett cd in the winter? What fog? What cold? Screw everything, I'm going surfing... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 16 - Born Under A Bad Sign Anyhow, I'm sure I'll bitch and moan more tomorrow... on to business at hand. FINALLY updated a feature of the site! You can see pictures of Eric Martin's show last night at The Boardwalk. They're all located on the In Concert page. Locals might notice that Eric's guitarist is none other than Mark Holley, of the extremely-underrated Sedona (who've also got a photo page on my site...) You might also notice Sedona drummer Darrell Hale singing backup. Also in the pics is up-and-coming Sacramento artist Larissa Bryski, who recently hired Darrell to play drums in her band. Also added some new items to the Gift Shop. Some of them are pretty cool, and as always, offer no profit to me. They were only created for laughs. I'll be honest though, running this site does cost money, and eventually I'll have to do something to recoup the ever-growing expenses thereof. But for now, enjoy an ad-free site, a TOTALLY ad-free message board, and cheap crap that really is, well, cheap. Like this:  Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 15 - When It Rains... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 12 - 'Tis The Season... Due to the keywords in that last paragraph, I'm guessing that traffic levels might be kind of high this week...
Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 11 - Yum! Just thought I'd share, 'cause there's not much else going on right now... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 10 - Monkey see, monkey doo-doo... Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 9 - Some things never change... That idiot stalker bitch is still at it. I still get packets of astrological crap (which I regard in the same category as divining predictions from scattered chicken entrails) sent to my house with MY address as the return address. There are the same grammar errors as before, and the same meandering garbage with no concept of clarity. In fact, she's resumed hanging around in my store's parking lot, peeping through the windows and circling the building when she knows I'm scheduled to work.
Now, moving on... I never really noticed how much content was on this site until I tried to move it. Damn, there's an awful lot of stuff here. What I usually do is open up the page from my desktop - I only look at it online when I've added a new feature, or made significant changes. So looking at it now, it's missing every single graphic, and about a million little details. (Not to mention all of the pictures on the In Concert page.) It's gonna take a while to get everything put back together. Almost makes me wonder if it's worth doing. Maybe I should just do a full re-design and start from scratch. Oh yeah... If anyone sent any email to me over the past month and didn't get a reply, please re-send. Another glitch of my computer woes was losing a ton of email. Apologies to anyone who might have felt slighted. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 8 - Homepage Sweet Homepage...  Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 7 - The Best of the Worst... So, in response to those fluffy feel-good pats on the back, I present THE FJ.COM Awards. I'm giving out recognition for the WORST of Sacramento, the very essences and manifestations of incompetence, uselessness, and stupidity that our fair city has to offer. WORST JEWELER - Kay Jewelers, Arden Fair Mall. TO make a long story short, I bought something from them a LONG time ago. I put down a substantial deposit and arranged financing. Circumstances made it necessary for me to return the item. I was ONE DAY PAST their limit on returns, and they refused me like a fat chick backstage at a concert. I even offered to the manager that they could keep my deposit and first payments, but that I just wanted to return the item and avoid being locked into 2 years of additional payments for something I didn't need, and couldn't really afford given my new circumstances. They still refused, but cashed each of my subsequent checks with glee, courteously raising my interest rate when apprised of my then-financial situation. WORST CHEESEBURGER - Yager's Tap House and Grille, Folsom. I ordered a cheeseburger and a Diet Coke. I paid with a $20, but they only gave me change for a $10. The waiter insisted that I only gave him a $10 (he actually called me a liar), but that was impossible. I had brought no cash with me, and had to stop at an ATM. ATM's here only give bills in $20's. He said that he would have the manager count the drawer at close and call me if it were off. Yeah right. I called them every day for a week, and they wouldn't even return my phone calls. And for the record, the cheeseburger sucked, the Diet Coke was warm, and they're still open. WORST LOCAL POLITICIAN - BILL SIMON. OK, let's assume you're a Republican in California, who's lived under the sneaky incompetence of incumbent Democratic governor Gray Davis. You've endured power-outages, watched a HUGE surplus turn into an inconceivable deficit overnight, see schools falling apart, and roads crowded and in shambles. What do you do to defeat this very vulnerable person in the fall election? How about run a Savings and Loan into the ground, have a company under your control assume a $78 million fraud-settlement charge, file suit to claim losses back from a public account, accuse the incumbent of a crime, claim that you have proof, and then admit you made the whole thing up? You've done more harm than good. PLEASE stay on the sidelines and just let AH-NOLD run for office next time... WORST PLACE TO BUY A HOUSE - THE WHOLE DAMNED COUNTY. Tired of renting, I went into a real estate agent's office and inquired about buying a house. I was shown a listing of 3 "starter houses". "Starter house" in this area means one of two things - "Low $200,000's..." or "Bullet-proof windows". I really don't see how people just starting out can even get by, when I'm fairly established, debt-free, financially stable, and STILL can't get find a house both safe AND affordable. Something really needs to be done to make home ownership a possibility for normal people. WORST CAR DEALERSHIP - Maita Toyota (Auburn Blvd), Sacramento Mitsubishi (Fulton Ave) (TIE!). At
Toyota, when I was pricing Celicas, I specifically told the saleman that I was only looking and doing some research. I had no plans of
buying anything that MONTH, much less that DAY. But they still asked to see my drivers license, and took it into another room to
keep me in the building. Every question was a variation of "What will it take to make this happen right now?" When I tired of explaining
my intentions, I just said, "Well, you can give me the car for $75 bucks". They accused me of wasting their time, so I asked for my license
back. They spent 20 minutes looking for it, and used that 20 minutes to KEEP ASKING ME FOR A SALE, TODAY. WORST BANK - US Bank, (Riley St) Folsom. These guys sold me a mutual fund in the mid-90s. It lost 40% almost instantly, and never recovered. I understand that investments have a degree of risk, and accept that it's possible to lose money on them. But this was during one of the biggest economic booms the country had ever experienced. Even idiots who threw cash away like it was stale pizza (Jeff Bezos from Amazon, anyone?) managed to become multi-millionaires. It's inexcusable to lose money managing a mutual fund during the mid-90s. By the way, that mutual fund is still down by about 60%, but thankfully, I sold out and cut my losses. Monkeys throwing darts at the Wall Street Journal could have done a better job picking stocks. WORST WEBSITE - famousjames.com. Big surprise there, huh? Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop November 6 - Dude, I'm not getting a Dell... Since the computer is about 5 years old anyways, I interpreted that to mean, "Stop bitching and go spend some money, jerkwad. Buy a computer that doesn't use a hamster on a wheel to make it go." So I did. For those curious, here are the specs: (and for the record, I've no idea what any of this means, other than I'll have a web cam)
Of course, the day before the computer is scheduled to be delivered to my house, I managed to clean up my old one enough to actually get online and post this. Figures. But updates will once again happen regularly. With actual disk space, I might even be able to install programs and store files, which will be a welcome relief. And I won't have to navigate countless errors to do it, unless you count the ones I make. Email : : Post a Comment: : Gift Shop |
Gotten a few emails about my cat Simba. He bravely took
a bean bag to the side of the head in last week's "juggling" movie. He's received everything
from 'Get Well' wishes to requests for autographs. Who'd have ever thunk a cameo like that
would have resulted in stardom? Alas, the success has swollen his head. He's gone Hollywood.
I'll have to leave the motion detector on the webcam on and see what he's doing when I'm not
around. Maybe his first starring role is right around the corner...
OK, now it's getting ridiculous. As is normal for Saturday, I played soccer. Within minutes of entering,
I was hit in the face by an attempted cross-shot. I managed to break my nose. (That horrible picture
of me to your left should tell it all...) I didn't tell anyone on the
team that it's broken (but none of them even know I run a website, much less read it), I just subbed out and
doctored myself a bit. When I managed to get it to stop bleeding,
re-set it and start feeling normal again, I felt a bug land on my head. I reached up to pull it out of my hair
and free it, and felt a pinch. It was a friggin' BEE. And it stung me, right on my index finger. Since
my attempt to be kind to animals was anything but appreciated, I immediately sentenced it to Death by Squashing. I haven't
been stung by a bee since I was about 10, but the last time it happened I reacted very badly. Of course, I had been stung
by several simultaneously then, so it was only natural... But I didn't know how I would react to the bee poison
this time. So I just said "Screw it" and went back into the game. I'm no doctor, but I imagine that playing
soccer is NOT the best remedy to de-toxify yourself when stung by a bee. 
Just got back from a store meeting... An employee
of mine baked cookies, and made this one especially for me. That's a frosting guitar and
my name written in yellow. (The picture didn't really do it justice) I thought it was so cool that
it needed to be photographed before it was hastily eaten for breakfast the next morning. Sugar cookies... They're
not just for breakfast anymore.
Plus, scanning through site stats, I still see her popping up in my referral logs. So I
know she's reading this. I'd like to dedicate this pic just to her. Leave me alone, you ugly freak. Don't screw with me,
'cause I promise you won't like the consequences.