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August 31 - Have I mentioned...  I LOVE COLLEGE FOOTBALL. GO NOLES! Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 30 - Approaching cynical mass Wow, I'm eloquent. I should write cd reviews. Also went and saw Anatomic. As always, they put on a great show. Attendance was pretty dismal, but they were really good sports about it. Not only that, but the few folks that were there were LOUD. If you would have closed your eyes, you'd have thought the place was full. But the low attendance at the show and the lackluster sales of the cds I've recently bought got me to thinking... For some reason, I am a very ethical human being. I work in an industry where whenever I want a cd, all I have to do is make a phone call and it'll get mailed to my house for free. When I want to see a show, I can make another phone call and be put on the guest list. But I NEVER take advantage of those perks. I even make it a point to at least buy a bottle or two of water (on the nights I decide not to have a drink) and tip my bartenders. I pay for my tickets, buy my own cds, and skip altogether the idiot scene of fake fans and associated clingers. Looking around at some of these shows, it's just filled with people who don't care. I see professional acquaintances with no passion for the bands, the music, the club, or anything. They're just there because they think it's cool to get in (or backstage) for free, generally act like complete asses, and only acknowledge the band when the members are standing in front of them. I despise seeing people taking advantage of other people like that. I know the bands I see don't have huge followings anymore, and they need that credit for the cd sale. They rely on the bar taking in enough to pay them. If the bartenders don't make any money, the bar can't afford to keep booking the band. Just makes me wonder if the bands really know who's getting in (or backstage) for free and who's out in the parking lot, and it makes me wonder who they'd rather hang out with. If they really think the fans are the ones backstage or on the guest list drinking for free, no wonder most rock stars are jaded. Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 28 - Not much to say Actually picked up a guitar last night. For some reason everything I played sounded sad. Don't know why. All my bills are paid, and there's plenty left over. Got a lot done at work and even managed to sneak out early. Of course, "early" for me means only an hour after I'm supposed to leave... I even had a good lunch and bought some more cds. (Big surprise there, huh?) Kinda strange to think that I've got everything I need, but still feel kind of bored with everything. Maybe it's time for a change. Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 27 - Mixed emotions I really envy people with small cd collections who don't feel the need to own everything an artist has ever released. I'm also hoping that Kiss doesn't take any lessons from Pearl Jam - I'd hate to think of how much Gene Simmons would want to charge to buy cd collections of entire tours... Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 26 - Why should I change when he's the one who sucks?
I've also heard "Fabio", but (1) That's beyond ridiculous and (2) There's no way I'm gonna scour the internet looking for pictures of that moron to post here. I don't think I really look like anybody famous. And even if I did, I'd feel tremendously sorry for them because it would mean their image consultants are doing a horrible job. With that kind of money, they should look better than me! I'm a slug! But of those guys, unfortunately, Michael Bolton is probably the one I've most often heard I resemble. Personally, I think it's a stretch. But I do have those skinny lips and a big nose. I even once had one of those bitchy perms, and used crappy conditioner. (Those were less enlightened times...) But if I ever start ripping off soul bands here or talking about my secret passion for opera, please put me out of my misery. Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 25 - Perspective. Not just an album from Jason Becker. For anyone who's spent the past decade under a rock, 10 years ago this week South Florida was cleaning up in the wake of Hurricane Andrew. Fortunately, I was living in North Florida at the time so my experience with that storm was very minimal. I do remember the complete devastation and near-collapse of the insurance industry from all of the claims. Even though I missed Andrew's fury, I've experienced my share of hurricanes and tropical storms, so I can still bring this up with credibility. Watching the news here, an idiot newscaster felt the need to knock people who live in Florida, citing it's risk of hurricanes. For comparision, he mentioned how his friends in Florida cite California's risk of earthquakes, and give that as reason to avoid California. (Side note - both of them are right. If you are considering moving to Florida or California, DON'T. Move to Idaho. Just stay out of my states, they're both already too crowded. Thank you.) But when comparing the relative risks of hurricanes to earthquakes, here are some facts: Hurricanes are easier to deal with than earthquakes. Even at their worst, you HAVE TIME TO LEAVE and avoid them. You NEVER have to experience a hurricane if you fear them and find yourself unprepared. You'll ALWAYS have at least 24 hours notice (usually more) before hurricane conditions are noticeable. Earthquakes are random, unpredictable, and unavoidable if you live in a geologically active area like coastal/Southern California for an extended period of time. But my local news anchor guy doesn't seem to get it. Guess it's not the heat after all. It's the stupidity. Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 24 - It's Saturday, so that means... Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 23 - More photo fun!...  The above pic was created at 2 in the morning. It was very funny then.
But I'm tellin ya, it takes one pretty cool woman to not only AGREE to pose like this in a photo booth, but to actually SUGGEST it. I must take all steps necessary to prevent pissing this one off and ruining another friendship with a cool woman. There aren't too many left, and they certainly aren't lining up to hang out with me! Must not use Photoshop to alter the pics into something strange... Must not use Photoshop to alter the pics into something strange... Place your bets folks! Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 22 - Oh, Yeah. And in the "only in California" category... Caught an article in the paper regarding fair food. The headline was "What pairs with a corn dog?". Underneath the headline was the following: "Tinhorn Creek 2001 Okanagan Valley Gewurtztraminer. From Canada, This gewurtztraminer is charming with bright floral notes and a slight hint of spice. Its light sweetness complements the sweet taste of fried cornbread that shrouds the hidden dog". How come California can even make corn dogs sound like foofy fine food? No wonder everyone else in the world hates Americans... Got a surprise email today. Check this out: Subj: Diamond Rexx Well, I don't actually recall giving a plug for Diamond Rexx on the site... I know they're listed in my cd collection, and that I dug the albums when I bought them. I even dug the guitarist's side project, D'Molls, when he left Diamond Rexx. But I've since learned that Diamond Rexx has reformed, and has even done another cd. So I guess I will go ahead and endorse a full plug for Diamond Rexx. Go check 'em out. But I would like to know how the drummer from Diamond Rexx found this silly little webpage... If you're still out there, keep in touch! Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 21 - Ummm... Maybe later. But on the good side, there's a very brief My Wacky Customers update. PLUS, the Hempered Chef has also posted a new column and a recipe. So your visit here won't be completely wasted, even though you might be... Go check it out, and don't forget to pick up your own Hempered Chef swag, available in the gift shop. Well, at least until I get sued and the gift shop closes in shame. And for the record, I'm not set up to make a profit on any of the merchandise. It's only offered as a service, and not a way to pimp money out of you folks. There may be one EXTREMELY LIMITED EDITION special offer/contest to be announced soon, as well. Provided she's still up for it... Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 20 - Sniffle, sniffle Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 19 - Perfect Timing! But I'll be listening to a new cd from my collection, which was updated today. Oh yeah, I uploaded the wrong state quarter images a few days ago. The ones that are up were my draft copies, and not the finished results. But I don't feel like fixing that mistake right now, so you can just go ahead and keep assuming that I totally suck at image creation. I'll post the correct images later in the week. Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 18 - One week left... Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 17 - Legal tender! 
Also coming soon... commemorative collector's police brutality plates! Celebrate the beating of your choice. But remember that not all plates go up in value, and some are more likely than others to result in you getting your ass kicked. Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 16 - Blah. At least some new merchandise has been added to the gift shop, hurry up and get some before I get shut down. There's a SALE! Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 15 - Ambition Did catch a few minutes of TV last night though... Watched a little bit of a program called "30 Seconds To Fame". Now normally I'd be more concerned with "10 Seconds To Love" by Motley Crue, but figured I'd give the show some token attention. It's kinda like the Gong Show for people with A.D.D. A bunch of marginally talented folks with penchants for stupidity have 30 seconds to win over an audience. If the audience isn't impressed, they boo. What kind of lack of attention span would one need in order to be completely bored with something in less than 30 seconds and need to boo it off the stage? As expected, people who tried to sing, tell jokes, or otherwise showcase what most people would refer to as "natural talent" were promptly rejected. Folks who swallowed fire and juggled chainsaws advanced. Just goes to show what the cavemen discovered long ago... Fire good. Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 14 - Slackapalooza I just wanna know... How come Pearl Jam and Nirvana were so freakin' miserable all the time when they spent their whole lives a bunch of dirty slackers? Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 13 - Hard At Work. Right... My Wacky Customers has been updated, as well. My 15 minutes of fame are probably just about up with that column, but hey, it's still fun to write. It's just not fun to live it. And, to make your visit here complete, the Hempered Chef has posted a new column with pics. That's already a lot of FJ.com to digest for one day, so I'll cut the rest of today's update short. Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 12 - Yeah, I know... But believe it or not, just because I haven't updated this page in a week, I have been working on the other ones. Updated the In Concert page with pics from Tesla, Vince Neil, Jackyl, Skid Row, Gary Hoey, and Anatomic. Of course, my ugly mug is liberally sprinkled in a few of them. But that's only temporary. Yes, I know that I'm worse than Gerri Miller from Metal Edge ever was with regards to posting pics of myself. But I'm gonna give you all a break. I've started arranging those pics on their own page (Photo Album) and will be removing the ones of me on the respective band pages. That way, if you wanna look at pics of bands, you'll just see pics of bands. If you want to see pics of me hanging out with them, you can visit the Photo Album page. Everybody wins. Well, everyone but my friends who've agreed to pose with me...
So we got to chat a little. Very nice girl. Also ran into the always-cool Staci Anderson. In a bizarre turn of events, my new friend had actually won tickets to the Poison show from Staci, and is a fan of her show. And I was even listening when it happened. Small world. Even more bizarre, she had asked me for copies of some of the pics I'd taken. Within minutes of posting them on the In Concert page, I got an email from her. Seems she'd done a search and found them on her own. Cool, but that means she found this site. Which means she now likely believes I'm a completely delusional nutcase, (provided she's still out there and didn't run screaming from her computer...) Oh well. Can't win 'em all. Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 6 - Counting down!   But I found a new woman to obsess over. In a moment of weakness, I managed to catch a show called Change of Heart. It's this horribly bastardized hybrid of Love Connection and the Springer show. Absolute mental candy, which will make your brain disgustingly obese if you watch it regularly. But WOW, is that hostess a cutie. And since nearly every guy who goes on that show is a complete asshole, I might not look like such a bad catch, relatively speaking. Well, I'd at least like to think I'm a little more desirable than some guy who feels the need to monkey around with strangers on camera while a girlfriend watches. Lynne Koplitz, I can guarantee that I'd never need to bring you on the show you're stuck hosting to degrade you in front of the mutants and halfwits that find enjoyment in watching your guests humiliate each other, make fools out of themselves, and confirm my belief that humanity is a completely doomed and failed experiment. Call me. I got Tesla tickets... Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 5 - Still no luck... Had better luck for the September 21 show here in town though... Got 13th row floor seats for that one. I'll probably still try to trade up as they release more tickets, but at least I'm in decent shape even if I can't pull it off. Got an email from the Happy Hour Chef yesterday... Regarding my stalker adventures of late, he said: Subj: Get the hell outta there To which I reply... Are you friggin' kidding me? It's concert season here in Northern CA! That means that not only do I get to see about a million shows, and meet up with friends of mine I haven't seen since last year, but I could conceivably see Staci Anderson wearing leather pants from across the room! That's worth at LEAST another month of dealing with stalker nonsense! But seriously, thanks to the Happy Hour Chef and to the others who've written in to give support. It's very much appreciated, and not taken for granted at all. Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 4 - The more things change... Time, age, wisdom, maturity, financial independence all come to pass... At the KXOA auction last night, I actually won the same pictures of Nikki Sixx and Warren DeMartini that I had on my wall many years earlier. But there's one difference... I now own the originals, which were taken (and autographed) by Neil Zlozower and appeared in Circus and Hit Parader magazines, respectively. Even worse, I actually remember talking to a girl about the issues of the magazine in which the shots appeared, and remember saying, "Yeah, the Warren pic was from a Circus magazine Ratt concert review, appeared in 1985 or 86 in the issue with Stephen Pearcy on the cover, with a red background..." No wonder normal girls hate me... But on the bright side, I also won a copy of Def Leppard's new cd which will replace the one that was lost in my latest car-theft adventure. So a review of it WILL appear here. Also this week - pics (finally) from the Gary Hoey show and maybe a few from the auction if they come out. Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 3 - Almost time to pull the plug... Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop August 2 - You have GOT to be kidding me. Leaving work at about midnight, I headed out to the parking lot to listen to one of the new cds I had purchased minutes prior. I'm walking out with some co-workers, one of whom jokingly says, "Dude, where's your car?" BUT HE WASN'T JOKING. That's right, my car was stolen AGAIN. That's twice in a month for those keeping score at home. So I called the cops. While going over the details AGAIN, and dreading having to call my insurance company AGAIN, I mentioned some of the other, umm, "legal troubles" that I'd had in months past. One of the cops went out to investigate. He caught someone driving my car, who bailed when a traffic stop was attempted. I can't really mention all of the details because some of them will have legal implications (and because the bitch reads this site and doesn't need to know everything I know about the situation), but I can say one thing: THE DUDE WHO STOLE MY CAR IS A FRIEND OF MY STALKER, and had plans to meet up with her. WITH MY CAR.
To add a healthy dose of irony even I'm having a hard time swallowing... I got summoned for jury duty in a few weeks. I am gonna put someone in jail. I don't even care who it is, or what crime they're accused of committing. So a note to all folks who plan on pulling off any criminal acts in the next few weeks... DON'T. You don't want me on your jury. It's not so bad that I had to deal with recovering my car again. It's not so bad that I lost a cd (Def Leppard's "X", which was just 2 days old). It's not even so bad that I lost the cassette deck adaptor and the power cable for my portable cd player. I can replace all of that in an afternoon at Target. But the dirty lil' fucker tuned my car stereo to 100.5, the crappy adult alternative station. That's just wrong... How come other people have memory boxes of love letters and photographs, while the only things I'm adding to my collection are police reports, missing property forms, insurance claims, and restraining orders? I've said it before, I'll say it again... I do not live a normal life. Email : : Message BORED: : Gift Shop |
As we speak, more pics are being added to the 
Also have a coincidental funny story to share... Remember 
