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May 31 - Don't think so... email : : Message BORED May 30 - Wonders never cease. Speaking of idiots, it looks like Anna Nicole Smith is getting a reality show. If anyone's curious, I've already found the cast of characters and some of their publicity shots online. If you're curious, you can see it by clicking this link. Also had a pretty interesting night out, too... It's no secret that I've lived in Sacramento, CA for the past several years. I moved from Tallahassee, FL. Tallahassee is home to Florida State University (my alma mater), where I was (and in spirit, remain) one of the biggest FSU fans on the planet. When I moved to Sacramento, there was nothing like FSU sports to consume my free time. I missed the carnival atmosphere and sense of community of big-time sports, so I decided to start following the Sacramento Kings. They've gotten really good over the years, and the past two seasons have been pretty exciting. Still not quite like the insanity of Tallahassee on a game day, but this is definitely the next best thing and I'm loving every minute of it. So a friend mentions that he had an extra ticket to Game 5 of the Kings vs Lakers series here in Sacramento, and would I be interested in going... Umm... Abso-friggin-lutely! So we head up, and were just milling about before the game. Got to meet the Royal Court Dancers. That didn't suck at all. Went inside to find that our seats were in the upper deck, in the last row. Too cool. We were literally as far as one could get from the court. (But the arena is set up very well, so every seat is actually pretty good) That's not really the point though... I was looking up at the giant TV screen and noticed a familiar face with a microphone... It was VINCE NEIL from Motley Crue. He was there to sing the national anthem. Too funny. We decided that we had to go down and say hello to him, and point out the irony that he had flown all the way up to open for the "Hip Hop Crew", a group of pubescent dancers, who provided the halftime entertainment... I briefly considered asking him if he'd ever seen an arena filled with so many people before, but figured that wouldn't be the best idea in this day and age... So we headed down from the upper echelon of Arco Arena to courtside. For a sold-out place with security supposedly very tight, it was surprisingly easy. We just walked right through. I actually slipped between 2 security guards who were talking to each other to get to his row. They never even looked up. It was kinda funny to be standing 10 feet away from the actual court, surrounded by A-list types who'd conceivably paid thousands for their tickets. We walked right up to him, said hello, and shook his hand. It was so loud, I couldn't really hear much of what was said. I just remember him saying something to the effect of "Don't I know you" or "Where do I know you from". He was actually pretty cool, even if he did look like drunken hell. I know I goof on Motley Crue an awful lot, and was even debating writing something snotty here like ...It was tough getting through the crowd of people... I had to push through the hotdog guy, the beer vendor, and the ice cream man just to get a spot between the popcorn dude and the lady selling candy... but I refrained. As much of a fuckup as Vince has been over the years, he's still alright in my book. I put him in the same category as people like Daryl Strawberry and Tommy Lee - where you laugh at their misfortunes, but deep down inside you really hope they get it together and finally come around. I'll also mention that the evil, Satan-worshiping, puppy-killing Lakers were vanquished by my beloved Kings. Between that, seeing Vince Neil all sloppy-lookin', all was right with the world. email : : Message BORED May 28 - Road Trip! email : : Message BORED May 25 - Close... So close... In other news... I hope you're tuning into Chicks Who Rock's Memorial Weekend Special on 93.7 right now. ALL WEEKEND LONG you'll be able to hear the good stuff in alphabetical order, starting with A at 10am on Saturday and lasting until Staci gets to the letter Z. That kicks a lot of ass...booty...crack...derriere... you get the point. So you don't even have to worry about changing cds all weekend long - you can just focus on the grill and on making sure the drinks stay cold. Count me in. Still working on my project. I've got some graphics created for it, and have conceptualized the entire thing. All that's left to do now is... The hard part - coding it and putting it up. That's gonna take a while. I don't want to give too much away until it's closer to being done. But a lot of you will get a laugh, I promise. Looks like I'm gonna go see Quiet Riot again next week. Should be fun. Might have to stick around and make a long weekend out of it. We'll see. One thing's for sure - the last set of concert pics for Quiet Riot didn't come out too good. Hope I can redeem myself. Or at least not lose too much at the tables and still be able to have breakfast the next morning... email : : Message BORED May 24 - Keeping the faith Also picked up the new Dio. Haven't had time to listen to it yet. Honestly, I don't even know why I bought it. I haven't bought an album of his for years. But I'm a completist, so that means if I dig it, you can bet I'll go digging for the ones I've missed over the years. Hmm... Can't think of much else worth sharing, so I'll just get to the links: Check out their concert schedule and see
if you can spot the band that doesn't belong. Yeah, I'm gonna try to get that night off... email : : Message BORED May 23 - I love a challenge If for no other reason than this... Remember the story I told you a while ago about the tweaky motorcycle chick who gave me a topless picture of herself with her phone number on the back? It was at the last Def Leppard at Cal Expo show. For the guys: If enough of you make a request for Def Leppard, and the show gets booked, I'll post the pic right here. For the ladies: If enough of you make a request for Def Leppard, I'll post the number she wrote on the back of it so you'll have a real fake number to pass out when some idiot hits on you at a club. (Plus, I'm betting that crazy chick might dig the attention... After all, she did hand a total stranger a topless pic of herself...) For the record... I only kept the pic because NO ONE believes me when I tell them the story.. But that's another update altogther. Now I want to hear some people start clickin' this link and requesting a Def Leppard show this summer at Cal Expo. If it happens, all of you out-of-town regular readers who make the trip are invited over to my place after the show for margaritas. Nothing makes a hot Sacramento night more bearable than a kickass rock show, and a late night margarita. So I'm gonna leave the new graphic on the left up until either the show is announced, or the lineup is finalized without Def Leppard on it - meaning Howie Mandell really ends up closing the festivities. If that happens, I swear to Christ I'll make you people pay, change this whole site's focus and become the "King of Smooth Jazz" or something... email : : Message BORED May 22 - Vague quickie email : : Message BORED May 21 - Does it really work? But that's not especially earth-shattering news for anyone who knows me. And since it's recently been discovered that the majority of my regular readers are female (hey babes, what's happening?), today I'm gonna bash on men instead. Not too long ago, I got an email from an attractive female friend who mentioned that some guys (like those pictured) made a night out rather unpleasant. Seems she was out minding her own business at a bar, when some drunks tried to pick up on her. She rejected them. When faced with rejection, the guys began to taunt her, calling her an ugly bitch. Now even though I can't prove it to any of you, rest assured that she's not ugly at all. You're just gonna have to trust me here. Furthermore, she was telling me that they followed her around for the rest of the night and kept insulting her to the point that she had to leave the bar. Am I missing something here? Who thinks that behaving like that will impress a woman and turn around a rejection? What, is she gonna think, "Well, I was considering just going home early, but wow, THIS guy is a catch!" Maybe I'm just naive, but I can't imagine a conversation like this ever taking place:
No matter how much alcohol was factored into the equation, I can't see how that would ever work. Guess that explains why I'm single... In Other News  Weird! But you know what, it just proves that Kiss fans are totally screwed in the head. I mean, if you went to a Star Trek convention, and there was some dork dressed like Dr. Spock, do you think people would fight to stand underneath him and have him drool on them? I think not. My hat's off to Larger Than Life for whipping folks into such a deranged frenzy. They put on Kiss shows as good as Kiss used to do. THEY'VE got the right idea. But that freak in front of the stage? You need help. And probably a trip to the free clinic wouldn't hurt, either... email : : Message BORED May 20 - Two steps behind... Just to keep consistent with my tendency to avoid the whims of the masses until the pounding seas of public interest subside, I'm thinking about growing a goatee and developing a coffee habit... email : : Message BORED May 19 - Call off the dogs... I'm still here
Speaking of forbidden love... My nutty stalker is proving to be a comedic goldmine. I'm gonna have to figure out a way to put the tapes she sends me into mp3s and post 'em. Honestly, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. If I could get a video camera to follow her around too, it could be a bigger hit than The Osbournes. All of the mundane humors of daily life, with twice the mental imbalance! Highlights from this week's (psychotic) episode:
email : : Message BORED May 16 - Looking Ahead I need something to do on Sunday though. email : : Message BORED May 15 - Generation Gap I decided not to work any overtime and went home. Figured I'd better start cooking up some oat bran muffins and shopping for really ugly sweaters. Complete cultural irrelevance is only a Volvo away... email : : Message BORED May 14 - Ask, and ye shall receive Now, does anyone have a suitcase full of cash? Small, unmarked bills are preferable, but I am flexible... Got some funny news today... My boss assigned me a vacation. He handed me a slip of paper with 3 periods of time ranging from 6 to 15 days and said, "You're on vacation during these times". Guess I can't really fault him... I'm carrying about 200 vacation hours right now, and even after taking all of the above weeks off, I'll still have about 150 when accruals from this year are factored in. Guess that's one benefit of being a workaholic and never taking more than a few days per year off. Then again, I don't really know whether that's cool or sick. Guess who's back on the James News Network? My stalker sent me gift certificates to a Reno hotel/casino. I'm not really too keen on accepting them, but hey, if anyone wants to head up there with me and get drunk on her dime, I suppose I could be convinced to at least make sure they don't go to waste... Unfortunately, they're not transferable, otherwise I'd just pass them out to friends, or at least use them as prizes for 80s metal trivia contests or something. But before you go thinking that maybe I'm being harsh on her, you should know that I've somehow been subscribed to about a hundred magazines at work. I've received bills from Newsweek, Penthouse, Barely Legal, and a host of others. (All promptly cancelled, by the way...) The best part is, the subscriptions are sent to a "Ms. James..." That's just too weird. And my phone still rings off the hook. I never even answer it anymore. In fact, I only go online to keep the phone from ringing. I'll log on, and just leave the computer on for hours at a clip. Speaking thereof, there's still time for you local folks to get a stalker photo in... None of the prizes have been claimed. Even if you don't care about the prizes, just think about how much fun we could have with her head now that I've got a new and improved version of Photoshop... email : : Message BORED May 13 - Oops... I should mention that if you think the pictures I make, alter, edit, or otherwise post here are stupid, just wait until you have to read a whole bunch of the crap I write with no corresponding graphics to break up the monotony... email : : Message BORED May 12 - Greatest Hits
(All stats courtesy of Webalizer, the tracking service from my site host) email : : Message BORED May 11 - DENSA I was walking out to the car when I saw my landlady leaving her office, and driving back to her apartment. WHY on Earth did she feel the need to DRIVE to work? She lives on site, and my apartment complex only has about 50 units. What kind of lazy, useless person would DRIVE from her apartment to the office for a 4 hour-day of work? For those that might think I'm overreacting, I counted the steps... It's 70 paces from the front door of the office to the sidewalk that leads onto her porch. I know this because she lives directly across the parking lot from me. It's actually further from the quadraplegic woman's apartment to the handicapped-bus pickup point. So, I just want to make some dinner and relax. I go to the grocery store and pick up a few things. One of them was a small container of pineapple salsa. (GREAT on chicken) I'm in line at the counter and the checkout girl is examining everything I've just selected. Since I work retail, I know to only bring clearly-marked items to the counter in case the bar code doesn't scan. I also know to have my Discover card out, and my driver's license ready should they ask for ID. I know the rules. But she didn't. She picked up my pineapple salsa, frowned disapprovingly, and said, "Do you actually like this stuff?" Umm... No. I think it's friggin' disgusting. That's why I only got the small tub. What kind of STUPID question is that? The only conversation I really want to have on a crowded Saturday at the grocery store can be best prompted by the question, "Paper or plastic?" So I just managed a shy, "Yeah, it's pretty good," thinking that the conversation would then end. Nope. She wanted to know, "How could you possibly think that stuff is pretty good?" So I just offered my credit card. While it ws being approved, she's telling the guy who's bagging everything about my purchase. Luckily, he came to my defense, but standing there with the line backing up while these two debate the merits of pineapple salsa wasn't really too high on my "Things I Want To Experience On Saturday" list. I head out to the car, and hear a noise. Turning around, it's a dog. It's sitting in a truck, windows up. Now, as much as I hate little yipping bitchy dogs, I can't help but feel utter contempt for whoever's put this poor creature in the oven. (Note to non-locals... Sacramento gets pretty hot when the sun shines, which it did today). It was all I could do to keep from breaking the window of the dadblasted yuppie SUV just to give it some relief. But of course, there was no way to track down the owner. As much as I love animals, and no matter how much money I send to animal welfare charities, I'm not gonna sit around and wait for this irresponsible idiot to come back out. So I left, feeling bad, and growing crankier. Half of me was genuinely empathic for the dog, the other half was kinda hoping it'd explode all over the Enya cds and soy latte waiting on the console. I needed to turn left out of the parking lot. I already hate making left turns, but begrudgingly figured that it'd be ok to do. I'm waiting to cross over the 2-lanes of traffic into the "oh shit" lane in the middle, so I can merge and head home. As I'm waiting to pull out (with my left-turn indicator blinking), the guy in the first lane stops to let me in. Cool! But as he sat there, the second lane was still full of oncoming traffic, with no break in sight. Of course, I can't go anywhere. So he's sitting there, honking and trying to wave me through. Through to what? A friggin' line of northbound suburbanites? So he's still sitting there, backing up traffic behind him, trying to allow me to turn in front of him, with traffic just zipping by to his left, getting angry because I'm not appreciative of his gesture. He sped off in a huff, and the lanes were finally clear. I turned, and started the drive back home... I'm in the right lane now, about to turn right onto my street, then get stopped at a red light. There's a motorcycle in front of me, and a line of cars in front of him. There was no traffic in the lane to my left, but several cars approaching the light. Then some turkey in a Mercedes pulls out of a parking lot, bulling in front of the motorcycle, and heading into the lane to my left! I was almost hoping that this moron would just get tagged right in front of me, but figured that I'd have to then stick around until the cops showed up. And I have meat in the car, which is destined for my grill and not for rotting on Fulton Avenue. So I just honked. He stopped right as another car zipped by. Do I get a courtesy wave for saving his front end? Nope. The finger. Shoulda let him get hit, even if I would have been out a coupla steaks... So I'm home now, finally full of grilled steak, garlic-mashed potatoes, rice pilaf, fresh corn on the cob, and Pepsi One. I'll probably make some berry & cream cheese quesadillas, maybe open a bottle of muscat, and chill here listening to Chicks Who Rock for the remainder of the evening. If you're out there Staci, hook me up! I need to finish turning this day around! email : : Message BORED May 10 - If you can't say something nice... email : : Message BORED May 8 - Yeah, it's true... Guess I'll go ahead and light the grill now... My mom sent me a package of smoking chips soaked in cabernet... email : : Message BORED May 7 - Seemed like a good idea at the time Bored? Here are some quotes pulled at random from the Message BORED. Go check that out and jump into a conversation. (Bonus points are given for profanity and lack of sentence structure):
I can actually hear the sounds of thousands of mice clicking the "back" buttons right now... email : : Message BORED May 6 - Tempting Fate Added some of the more interesting search engine submissions from last month that led to visits here. There are some very disturbed (and likely disappointed) folks out there. Last month also marked another milestone... There have been hits from 6 continents - North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Australia, and Africa. We even got visits from the Pacific Rim countries. Only Antarctica is missing. (But if you're there, you've got bigger things to worry about. So we'll let it slide.) I'll have to put up another stat report sometime soon. Thinking about taking a vacation, too. I'm feeling a little burned out, and my days off just aren't recharging me like they should. Found a pretty cool resource for it. Go check out The World's Most Dangerous Places. Also took a gander at their list of the most dangerous jobs - I've held three of them! My stalker's at it again, too. I'm so sick of her nonsense. I know she reads this page, too. According to the last report my site host sent me, she was solely responsible for several hundred hits in April alone. She's a nutcase. And the most ironic part - it just reinforces my theory that women don't like nice guys. The women I treat nicely still won't cross the street to spit on me. But I treat my stalker like a leper, and still she comes back for more. She sends audio tapes to my house, with comments on my daily attire, and random observations of her daily activities. What's disturbing is how much those activities center around me - I wish there were a way to play them online so you could see how crazy she is. No way am I gonna try to transcribe 'em. Since the cops haven't been able to do anything, and upper management at my job has been all but completely unsupportive, I'm taking things into my own hands. A lot of local folks who follow this page know who she is. Remember the bounty I put out for a digital pic of her to post here? It's still up for grabs. First one to send me a post-able pic gets $25. You get a $25 bonus if you catch her with her laptop, provided she's looking at this page at the time... Go get her. I'll even pay $5 for every pic that gets posted here. (No limit) I want that dirtbag to have a camera flash in her face everytime she ventures outside her house. We'll see who's gonna feel uncomfortable in public. Oh well, at least somebody's gotta be getting a laugh out of all this... I just wish it were me. email : : Message BORED May 5 - Dear Readers
Tell me what you think - I'm actually interested to know your opinions. Ok, you all know my little preference (obsession? compulsion? delusional fascination?) for a certain radio show I've plugged as many times as possible. Just for the sake of plugging it again, click here for Chicks Who Rock. Well, I've gotten a few really interesting emails over the last few days that I think are worth sharing with you. (edited slightly) Several weeks ago, I got this email from Staci:
The next day, I got this email from Staci:
Time passes...
A day later, I got this email from Staci Anderson, the hostess of the show:
You know what that means? First, it means that Staci has done an absolutely kick ass job of bringing good hard rock back into the spotlight. Those of you who still dig the good stuff should all visit her page and thank her for keeping all of us in mind. It also means that the connection between the message board here, Chicks Who Rock, and Danger Danger has been completed. We've now been acknowledged by all relevant parties. Small world, huh? Go check out the message board and you'll be able to meet the person who started the ball rolling, Pinky. But seriously, much-deserved congratulations to Staci for sitting on top of the ratings, and for being so cool about it. She's not really the type to gloat, so we'll have to do it for her. Rock on, Staci! email : : Message BORED May 4 - Turn on, tune in, and veg out And don't even think I'm gonna forget about Chicks Who Rock, tonight at 8. I'll probably be online working on the site a little, too. On the agenda: some good news, a stalker update, interesting statistics, a decision (about which I will consult my readers), and probably some random complaining about my miserable existence. Wow. Oh yeah, I'll probably try to catch up on the email I've been neglecting, too... email : : Message BORED May 3 - Show Off N Tell The first time the double-neck was plugged into a "real" amp, the song I played was "Song & Emotion" by Tesla. The first song played on the 8-string bass was "Rock Rock Til You Drop" by Def Leppard. "Patience" by Guns N Roses christened the accoustic guitar in the foreground. I can admit it now, "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" was the reason I purchased the 12-string. "Talk Dirty To Me" still sounds cool on the Jackson. And you can't see it very well, but there's a Washburn classical guitar that was bought to play parts from Yngwie Malmsteen's first solo cd. The red Strat? That's my baby... For the more technically-inclined amongst you... No effects. Straight into the amp. I was trying to figure out how to pick as fast as the Yngwie's of the world, and when I finally figured out how to do it, I found out that he was using a delay pedal. I own one (and a chorus pedal) but never touch them. There are 3 amps on the rack, a Gorilla practice amp, a Crate GX-60 practice amp, and a Marshall Valvestate combo. The Crate and Marshall have been used to play live. There's a Fostex 4-track on top of the Marshall, but I don't think I've even plugged it in for over 10 years. I've recorded a bunch of stuff, but sadly over the years much of it has been lost. Yeah, I guess you could say that music has pretty much ruled (ruined?) my life. If you need any further proof, check out my desk at work. Yeah, that's Gene Simmons guarding my computer. And what storage hutch would be complete without Barbra Streisand's severed head? And those boxes to the right of the desk? FULL of cds that I could rightfully take home, as most were promotional gifts, but I don't. I usually hoard them for months and then give them away en masse to employees. email : : Message BORED May 2 - Filler
Still reading? Answer a few of the above questions and post 'em on the board... email : : Message BORED May 1 - Just a few shout-outs... email : : Message BORED |
Picked up 
Some things I'll never understand. I've already accepted that I'll never
understand women. While generally a good judge of character, and possessive of a keen insight towards human behavior and
communication styles, I'm still totally clueless when it comes to reading women. 
But I did manage to catch 
Wow... What luck! In response to yesterday's query, I was offered all kinds of assistance. From directions to sites of ill
repute that also offer bootleg software to offers of pirated discs, to recommendations of software stores, Photoshop managed to be re-installed back onto
my computer. Thanks to the generosity of some super-cool people, poorly edited photos will once again be viewed here, and
my faith in the humanity's ability to help each other has been restored. 
Ate a whole pizza and a pint of ice cream watching the 
I've got one of these right now. It's been a great little car, and I've enjoyed it
immensely. It's still relatively trouble-free, and it's been paid off for years. But it's got a lot of miles on it, and
will likely soon cause headaches. I'm not desperately in need of a new car, but it'd probably be a good idea to start
looking around to see what's out there. That's where YOU come in. I'm notoriously indecisive when it comes to me - I HATE
the whole car-buying experience, and want to essentially be done with it ASAP. So I'm gonna list the cars I've looked at,
and a few observations on each one. Then I want you to tell me what to buy. Money's not too much of an object - I
could buy any of these I really wanted. Admittedly, some would be more difficult than others, but I could make it
happen with a little creative financing. So don't let that affect your input... Still with me? Then let's examine the choices:
(all pics courtesy of 
First up - another Saturn. I know they're reliable,
and inexpensive. I could pay cash for one and be done with it. I'd be car-hassle free for another 10 years, and would
be able to continue my existence with little change. But, they're kinda boring. You can't expect a girl to turn her head
(well, *I* can't...) and ogle you in a Saturn, with a bike rack, and personalized plate. 
On the other extreme... The Corvette. The epitome of single guy
cool. It's fast, expensive, and convertible. I've always wanted one, and since it's just me - no wife, no kids, no
prospects for either in the near future - it could be the only time I ever get to really enjoy one. But they're
notoriously unreliable, and I'm not mechanical at all. I'd also have to deal with wise-ass kids thinking I'm having
a mid-life crisis and shouting, "Hey, sorry about your penis" whenever I drive by.
The compromise - A Chrysler Sebring. It's reliable, but
convertible. It's the perfect blend of commuter friendliness and suburban rebellion. It'd be good for future family
preparedness, but it's kind of old-looking. It's also a little on the big side, and I live in the city. But I see a lot
of them on the road, so they must be doing something right. This pic makes it look a lot like the next contender, which brings
us to...
It's the sterotypical heavy metal car, the Camaro. On
the one hand, it's like a mini-Corvette. On the other, it's just a mini-Corvette. I don't smoke, so the roach clip
feather band hanging from the mirror would be wasted on me. (Those are standard, right?) I guess it'd be the perfect
choice for riding up too close to someone at a stoplight and blasting an Ozzy cd, then revving the engine and honking when
they hesitate just a second too long at a light... 
Ahhh... The Mitsubishi Eclipse. It's the me-too
car of the decade. (You drive an Eclipse? Me too!) It's reliable, fairly inexpensive, and kinda cool-looking. But
it's Japanese, and I tend to be one those "buy American" types. It's also kinda feminine-looking. And I hate rear spoilers.
But it combines reliability with economy and a convertible top. I'm not ruling it out just yet.
It's been a long time since I've even touched any of them, but here's a shot
of my guitar collection. There's a story behind every one of them... two were willed to me, one was a gift, one (well, actually 2...) was
a major sore point with an ex-girlfriend, one was found in a pawn shop, and one was a present to myself when I finally
realized that I was destined to play for fun, and not for profession. Ironic that my best guitar was purchased with the
intention of playing it by myself, and that the old beat-up ones were used to play in public...