The Worst Pics Of Me Ever Taken:

Me and Greg Kihn. (Yes, the "Jeopardy" guy... I got to jam with him when I first moved to California. Let's just say that it wasn't a career highlight. Plus, look at me - I had broken my arm just a few weeks before at a taekwondo testing, and I had yet to re-grow my hair. Plus, the Marilyn Monroe cutout was a terrible idea. Who thought of that?

I look like a zombie here. I was watching a Florida State football game, but my niece and nephew were running wild that afternoon. You can see the look of fear and the horror of responsiblilty in my face.

No wonder I got my ass kicked in high school. This shot was taken at the age of about 15. I actually used to go to school like this. Of course, when I left home I looked "normal". But somewhere along the way, this is what I metamorphasized into. I should've stayed in the cocoon. Note what I perceived as a "blossoming Bon Jovi haircut" which was actually the result of a home bitch-perm.

I've no idea why I was so thrilled to be in this picture, but one thing's for certain - you need to have a chest to wear a shirt like this. Luckily, the world is safe, because I no longer have this shirt.

NO NO NO! How many times do I have to tell you... It is not possible to rock out while wearing a tie-dyed Bahamas shirt and short hair, no matter how cool the double-necked guitar is! And you could at least smile a bit.

Want a rare treat? Look at me at age 12. Note the parachute pants, and don't forget to apply the criticism from the above caption. But also add - Dude, that wasn't even your guitar. It was your neighbor's. You didn't get one until you were about 17, you ridiculous poser.

This was actually the 10-year reunion of my high school circle of friends. Why any of them agreed to do this is beyond my comprehension. Sure to follow is an angry email from each of them. Longtime site followers will also note the presence of the Happy Hour Chef and the Hempered Chef.

While I look like an idiot in this picture, I'm actually proud of it. I went to see an Eric Martin show and ran into Brian Wheat, who was playing in his band "Soulmotor" at the time. Unbeknownst to me, Troy Lucketta was playing drums for Eric's band. Brian said to me, 'Come here, I want you to meet someone'. It was Jeff Keith. Troy passed by and said hello to us on his way to the stage. But this pic was taken when Tesla were barely on speaking terms with each other, several years before their reunion.

It's called exercise - look into it. Thankfully for me, I saw this pic and started hitting the gym a little more regularly. Unfortunately, it's been a while and I'm starting to look like me at age 23 again. Who'd have thought it would be bad to look like yourself 10 years ago?

This is a fashion faux pas. Yet note that I am actually assimilating into the bushes. Too bad I wasn't wearing a shirt that could have been assimlated into oncoming traffic instead.

The heavy metal Milli Vanilli look. Note the spandex shorts and understand that at age 18, the vest was replaced with a leather jacket (no shirt). Baby, please forget my number.