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November 1 - Another Interview with FIFI LARUE
FJ.com readers were introduced to FIFI LARUE in January of 2006. Here's what he had to say then. At the time he was trying to do three things - promote himself, piss off non-believers, and save heavy metal. How's he fared? Well, since we last talked to him FIFI LARUE has made his long-promised cd available, appeared on "The Search For The Next Elvira", had footage shot for potential use on next season's "Gene Simmons' Family Jewels", and left a nationwide impression after auditioning on "Next Great American Band" . (Scroll to the "About The Show" section, then scroll down on the video player to the last video to see his performance)

So when he sent me an email to say hello, I decided to see if he was up for answering another set of stupid questions from me. Much to my surprise, he agreed. So sit back, buckle up, and get ready for an encore presentation of "Famous Last Words with FIFI LARUE"!

Photo by Scott Smeltzer

JAMES- So, how have you been?
FIFI- I've been doing great! I'm accually a "HOUSEHOLD" name Now! people are calling me the new "ELVIS" and the "ROCK N' ROLL MESSIAH!" I wonder where they got that from??? Ha!

What have you been doing all day since getting banned from Metal Sludge?
Did I get Banned??? I have a life! I work for a living and I also take care of my 82 year old Mother too... on Top of being the most Famous person on "EARTH" Ha!~ I'm not EL TORO...doesn't he spend like everyday!,every afternoon and every night on that board and other boards too? the sign of a true LOSER! look it doesn't even faze me... I got to much going on!!! what I don't do is spend everyday and every afternoon and every night on message boards I just don't have that kind of time...I've very busy being a "ROCKSTAR"

Are you able to read what's been written about you?
YES! I can read! I think I learn how to at a early age...Ha! But, as far as the board is concerned? I don't go on it~as much anymore When your FIFI LARUE you have other people doing that kinda stuff for you... I get inform every once in awhile about what EL TORO says! but, it's boring to me now! I know and you know Now! That EL TORO is really a BIG FAT BALD-HEADED LOSER from the 80's and everytime he posts things about me! he shows people just how much of a fool he really is! and besides,I have other things better to invest my time in Now! Like doing Interviews and being on T.V.and writing songs and recording stuff in my studio and etc. and I accually have a life! those message boards accually run themselves now...So, I don't need to invest time in it anymore... I already have the BIGGEST LOSER of them "ALL" doing it all for me for free (JIM TORGESON)

Do you still check in on occasion?
No! when your FIFI LARUE you have other people doing that kind of stuff for you... every once in a while... someone will tell me what's the news on the board about me...But, who cares about that board? it's mostly a bunch of Losers trying to find out things about people... that are usually not true...anyways I'm more popular than the Guy who owns the site...(Stevie Rachelle) so, my mission is done and "METALHOTGIRL" did her thing! Ha! and it really worked! and remember, theres a sucker born every minute! and EL TORO is the living proof of that!!!

Did you ever *really* think that you'd make a good Elvira?
I audition for the ELVIRA Thing! because they were looking for a new "HORROR HOST" and I thought it would be great to be the New "HORROR HOST" and plus, getting on T.V to promote FIFI LARUE The Gothic Killer Clown Of Rock n' Roll! and I did it! and I'm on a continueous Marathon on the ELVIRA Shows... and I have been asked to go to another tapping tomorrow... and plus! I got to meet alot of hot chicks at the tappings...I thought Wow! maybe I'll be the only Guy there... with all kinds of pussy walking around... you can't knock me for doing it because! let's just say FIFI LARUE has alot of Female fans Now!

Above - FIFI LARUE's interview to appear on "Search For The Next Elvira"

But why would you want to replace what's essentially served as little more than masturbatory fodder for teenage boys? Sounds a little G-A-Y, wouldn't you agree?
Remember I auditioned to be the "NEXT HORROR HOST" not "ELVIRA" I agree it sounds pretty GAY! but, let EL TORO focus on the GAY shit O.k!!! besides isn't he the one who spends most of his daily routine talking about me another "GUY" on message boards and stuff! normal Men talk about women all the time right??? what doesn't his wife do it for him???

You were asked who your biggest nemesis was, and answered 'KISS and ALICE COOPER'
KISS is everyones Dream band to be in! and ALICE COOPER is "THE GODFATHER" of Heavy Metal Music...and you probably can blame KISS and ALICE COOPER for what I've become...after all people say' I'm the bastard Son of Alice Cooper...

Did you ever think of saying 'Jim Torgeson'?
WHO??? I don't think much about him! remember hes obsessed with "ME"!!! and I'm not a LOSER! if I was a LOSER or POSER than yes, he would be the one to look up too...Ha! I think the only people who look up to him is probably his own children and thats ashame cuz' can you just see it now! his children taking over the Metal Sludge board Like father like kids... maybe their life is already set in "STONE" to become losers like their Dad...what a thing to leave your children and what a inheritance to leave behind!

In January of 2006 you said that you'd be losing some weight because "it's become such an issue now". How's the diet going?
the Idea is still there... Ha! it's like I said when I said I was coming out with my CD is will eventually happen! Hey Now! that I'm "Officially" really a Celebrity!!! maybe they will call me to do' "Celebrity Fit Club" I know I can probably Lose more than Jani Lane did on that show...who know's if that show is even really ready for "THE GOTHIC KILLER CLOWN"? what do you think???

Is the house you currently share with your mother the same house you grew up in?
Who said I ever "GREW-UP?

Did you move back in to help care for her?
Move back when did I leave? Ha! listen, I do take care of her and the House is in my name too! so, why do I have to leave... I don't understand why people more to apartments to pay other peoples mortgages and rent... pretty stupid if you ask me... what a way to throw money away...listen! it's not that I can't live on my own! I accually do that anyways... and I work for myself too... I haven't worked for a company for about 11 years... I'm self-employed and a License contractor... I own my own cars and I own my own recording studio... I don't have any car payments or loans on things... But, I do have excellent credit!~ 3 major Credit cards and I can go out and BUY a brand new Corvette if I wanted too... right Now! but, Why? I already have a old one... and I don't have payment's...pretty smart way to think if you ask me...

Are you allowed to have girls over?
are you??? and, if you mean can they come over? why yes, to have orgys and stuff! we'll I do have a Studio... I can always turn the Music up!

You knew the Next Great American Band camera crew was coming over. Couldn't you have at least cleaned the toilet?
Listen have you ever been in a real Studio before... whens the last time you've seen a sparkling clean Toilet in a Recording Studio or even a Rehearsal Studio... it just dosen't happen...( I was told that EL TORO was focusing in on that from the T.V. show! and I can now understand why now! he's never been in a real recording studio!) Sorry! next time they come over I won't over look it! But, this toilets is Now famous! so, I will be Auctioning it off on EBAY soon...so, there probably will be a new one in my studio soon... I think EL TORO should buy it! because it will be the most valuable thing he has in his house...Remember the TOILET is Famous Now! and EL TORO's been wanting to be "KISSING A RING" all his life! so,now here is his chance to own my TOILET and "KISS my BOWL RING"!!!

Why didn't you have a guitar player at your audition for Next Great American Band?
Marcus Sin couldn't get off of work! hey tried to get off of work but his boss would not let him...

Do you think you might have fared better in the competition with a full band?
of course! but, you have to do what you have to do! a chance of a life-time doesn't come around to often! but, I told everyone who else is with me? luckly my other three members were with me 100 percent... I would have gone with just a getto-blaster if I had too...

Who's in the band now?
FIFI LARUE, ANDY MONIC, EL DIABLO, BARON KARZA, BILLY BLAZE,MARCUS SIN-when he is available...

Between Richard James, Marcus Sin, Adam 12, and Billy Blaze... Why do you have such a hard time keeping guitar players?
I don't have a hard time keeping guitar players...who told you that??? I just get better ones right after the other one is gone... Listen- I don't consider Richard James a FIFI LARUE guitar player...just a someone I used to help me collaborate with my tunes... listen, alot of lies have been told about my songs by EL TORO! who knows nothing at all about anything that really has gone on with FIFI LARUE songs it's just all speculation on his part!... Richard James is a Knucklehead who I met through another friend... and I used him to help me collaborate on only a few songs that I needed a guitar player to finish what I had already started...Listen, ever song I presented Richard James with already had melody and lyrics which I created... I hummed him all my songs and gave him the drum beats too... on top of my lyrics... so, all Richard James ever was? was a musician for hire and I did pay him to program drum machine and play guitar on Demos... what's wrong with that everyone does it! and I even gave him writers credit on a few of my songs too on top of everything else... but most of the songs he played on were already written...So, thats the truth no matter what anyone say's it's lies if you didn't hear it from me...and Marcus Sin, is probably the best guitarist that FIFI LARUE the band has had up to date... I'll go as stating as the best guitarist I've had until this guy Billy Blaze came along! anyways ADAM 12 was a fill-in and he was very busy so, he couldn't really commit to the band. But, he was trying to get out of work for THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND thing! but , once again! his boss wouldn't let him get off work too.. anyways! everything works out for the best! I even hear? one of my other ex-guitar players is in a All-Girl Female KISS Tribute band! what do you make of that? pretty Crazy that a guy would be in a ALL-GIRL Tribute band Huh! it's accually kinda funny in a sick-way! I think he found his Calling!!!

I went into my local FYE and asked for your cd. They didn't have it. I checked amazon.com. No listing. What gives?
CD is going through... Contract agreements ... Purchasing Orders and Stocking and Licensing agreements with different things that accually go on way before they ever get to the Stores... But, I got the green light! that they will be in the Stores hopefully by the end of this week and they will atleast be in the Warehouse ready to ship out to the Stores...at F.Y.E. just ask the guys behind the counter to check the computer for stock in the warehouse and you should be able to get it very soon.. my CDs will be available Nationally! .like I said if I say something it's going to happen... if you listen to guys like "EL TORO" it's usually all lies... also, My songs are getting place on ITUNES very soon too... we already have downloading of our songs on SNOCAP on our my space page: WWW.MYSPACE.COM/FIFILARUETHEBAND

Are you happy with the cd's sales so far?
I've had over 100,000 hits on our web-site since THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND Show aired last week...so, let me say this! my MySpace page went from 8,000 views to over 13,000 views in only a weeks time... this stuff is getting really crazy! and I have been Saleing the Cds on my Web-site for $15.00 each... but, if you wait until they hit the F.Y.E. Stores they will have my 15 Song Debut Cd for the Sale price of $9.99 so, that's a great deal... I know EL TORO is fucking crying over this...

When's the next live show?
I had a show all booked for The Viper Room right before we were given the news that we would be on THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND Show... so, I cancelled it until a later time... I did request to Open for TWISTED SISTER at the Hob in Anaheim... but, theres alot of Politics involved...so, who knows??? remember I don't play Dive Bars! anymore...

Will everyone else in the band be able to get that day off?
Ha! listen, this band does deal with everyones schedules being different at times...and if my people can play a show we will! and if not? we won't... it's just a part of life...EL TORO has nothing to do with anything!!! because, he is a LOSER and LOSER don't know anybody!!!

What are your favorite and least favorite venues to play?
we love THE KEYCLUB and WHISKY a GO GO and The Viper Room... as our Favorites! you won't catch us playing DIVE BARS like the ones EL TORO used to book for himself! did you hear that last show he booked only 6 people showed up! and that's not counting the bands...But, your not suppost to count the bands are you ...Ha!

My house is about 1500 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. Very standard layout. How much would you charge to paint it?
I charge $2.00 dollars a square ft. so ,that would cost you about $3,000 and if your not adding your garage you should add another $500 to $1,000 dollars... cuz' you know thats extra right?

Would you do it in stage clothes?
that would be extra too... but, since your doing this interview! I'll toss it in for "FREE" Ha!

You've mentioned that your website gets thousands of hits a day. What good does that do when there's no content?
it does alot of GOOD! I own it! and I've had a few people that wanted to buy it from me... But, I won't sell it!

But the only active bios are for you end El Diablo, which haven't been updated in years. Hasn't Andy paid his dues enough to earn at least a bio?
Andy accually runs the site... you got to understand he is very busy! he dosen't sit around like EL TORO! playing on the computer all day! he makes money off working on the computer... to different things! so, he will get to it! you also, have to understand he had alot to do with helping me finishing up the CD... he did almost all the Editing on the CD and that takes alot of time... which EL TORO knows nothing about! but, Andy soon will be focusing on the Web-site too very soon! Why hurry we are all already FAMOUS from the T.V. Show... shoot! you may even see Crazy grafixs on it soon too... LOOK-OUT! WWW.FIFILARUE.COM and WWW.MYSPACE.COM/FIFILARUETHEBAND




Above - a sample of FIFI LARUE's video for "Dr Death"

You released a clip onto youtube for your song Dr Death. You're holding a microphone. Why aren't you singing into it when the vocals are running, and why aren't you following the lead vocal track? And why not release the whole thing? Did the battery on the camcorder run out?
Hahahahaha! Listen, we did this Video at a friends Cable T.V.show and the speakers were really bad in the T.V. studio and we couldn't really hear the songs while they were playing the songs over their cheezey p.a system... and especially when EL DIABLO was really playing along too!!! so, it was very crazy and loud! and we had only one "TAKE" to do it in! for each song we did! it was a Live tapping on T.V. so we did two songs and I released only a clip of one song Dr. Death! and because, it wasn't done right! I just release a clip from it! I wanted to still have something to show other producers for other things! Laugh at it now! but, that's the video clip that got us on... THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND Show... Let's just say it's our "SPINAL TAP" moment that Video has gotten me alot of attention from other producers that are keeping us in mind for future shows...and I really don't think I was holding a mic... it was my DRAGON Knife (Look Closer) and it was my lip-sync momemt too so, why would I want to hold a mic?...and lets just say I was giving "Ashley Simpson" a run for her money!!! Ha!

Did Lanel Roxx get fired for having the stage presence of a dead fish in that same video?
She's not fired! shes still in the band! if she wants to be one of my new girls I use on stage for the show... Look! she was very good "EYE CANDY" for the Band! but, we are getting way way better musically and I have replace all the "OLD DEAD WEIGHT" in this band that I used to have with my "OLD MEMBERS" if you want to talk about people who look like a "Dead Fish" on stage... maybe you can find a old pic or video clip of Richard James somewhere??? but, why would you want too even bother? I think he's teaching Kids now at schools on how to look like a "DEAD FISH".or I even think he's doing a Video Instructional tape on guitar lessons on "How to never Leave your Bedroom Playing Guitar"! Ha! and remember if it wasn't for me... he wouldn't have ever played in front of more than ten people live...Ha!

What's she doing now?
probably what she always does? I think she will find a girl band to play in soon... she's taking lessons from Randy Roades mother... if she keeps up with her lessons... she'll get into something good... she can always use FIFI LARUE as a referance... which is a great reference after all now! I'm now a "HOUSEHOLD NAME" Ha! she can say she used to play in a band with the next "ELVIS" or 'HEAVY METAL MESSIAH"


Campaigning for ROCKET

You referred to the old material featuring Richard James and Johnny Lust as "cheeze demos", long after you'd claimed that your cd was ready to be released. Why did you keep those demos on your myspace page and website for so long if they were so "cheezey"?
Cheeze is better... than No! Cheeze at all! Look! everyone has Demos...( We'll Maybe not EL TORO he doesn't even know how to play guitar correctly! or use a tape recorder correctly! and all you have to do is Press-Play and Record ) anyways I've heard Demos from Paul Stanley and he's done them with just a Keyboard and Click! so, look what happens to his songs after they get recorded correctly! they become hit songs! Like me..I have hit songs... if a couple of losers played on them before the songs get the chance to be recorded correctly? it's just a matter of time that they get corrected and they become what they should be and sound like... it's a process... like making wine... you take only little sips and you don't drink it all at once!... until you know its all good and it's ready... right? kinda like the "DEAD FISH" get rid of it! and bring in the new live ones so the "FISH WILL ALWAYS STAY ALIVE" my songs will always stay alive... and be around! cuz' I write Catchy tunes...I'm a Genius and so, is ANDY MONIC... and EL DIABLO too...fuck! he's the fucking "DEVIL" what more could you ask for...

You've been very vocal about your former bandmembers who've departed on less than amicable terms. What do you think they would say about you?
they all miss me!!! and they all probably wish they could still be in this band! but, they are all fucked up kinda people and by getting on the board telling lies about me...just because they all were seeking attention for themselves because the board was going crazy over me.. and they never ever got that kind of attention for themselves anywhere in life... their jealousy just took them over... and now! it's just game over... once you fuck me over... your Dead to me... Fuck!... me and my new Band just got on Long Beach Press-Telegram "Front Page" news a couple of weeks ago.... and who do you think is starving for attentions now? fucking "Johnny Lust" trying to feed off of something I've done without him and he was trying to get a article written for himself! the editor asked me about him? I put a fucking stop to it! Look! guys! if your not in my Band anymore... don't think your going to get some free press from my "Coattails" it's just not going to fucking happen!!! I'll put a little "BLACKBALL" in your fucking "CUP of SOUP" or "CUP of COFFEE"! buddies Ha! so, thats the end of fucking Johnnys story... I never really did anything to these guys but, let them play in my band... so, now they have exactly nothing to do with FIFI LARUE anymore... so, they should just learn how to move on? Richard James is Teacher now! you would think? he could teach himself how to move on!

Footage was shot at your home for possible inclusion on a future episode of Gene Simmons' Family Jewels. How did that come about?
I had a friend e-mail me that a KISS Documentary was going to be made about KISS Collectors and their KISS Collection for possible use on MTV and Vh1 and funny thing is... my friend found this ad in Craigs list! and told me about it and I call the guy! and he came over interviewed me and shot footage of my collection and told me that I had a cool collection that they would come back in few days to film me for the Documentary...pretty cool MTV or VH1 and Now! FIFI LARUE on that too...? I already did THE SEARCH FOR THE NEXT ELVIRA HORROR HOST Thing! and a few weeks later to a month were going to Las Vegas for THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND Thing! and Now this! How fucking cool is that! and the truth is that it ended up being for "GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS" gee, I think EL TORO was already ready to "DIE" and turn over his fucking "GRAVE" I made sure he knew all about this stuff... I had too... I love turning the screws on Idiot's like him...

Were you allowed to look Shannon Tweed in the eye?
would you look at Shannon's eyes? or her Body? I was looking at everything... I didn't have to sign anything that said I couldn't stare ..Ha! she's accually very beautiful close up! and very friendly and kind... she talk to my mother in a very kindly manner... and her Sister is very cool too...and Sophie is a little princess... she was very sweet and kind too...all three women had very good class...

The following is a list of rumors that have been spread about you. Here's your chance to answer "true" or "false", and explain if necessary:

FIFI LARUE was once considered as a member of Guns N Roses

Considered? who? said I was considered??? I bet EL TORO put his "SPIN" on this statement too... my statement was always that I almost audition for Guns N' Roses before they became big- this is a True Statement... here you go! I used to work at Licorice Pizza at the Lakewood Mall and my boss was this Punk rock Chick named WENDY HENDERSON and she used to be SLASH'S Boss too...when she used to work at TOWER RECORDS on Sunset... heres the "True Story" for a few minutes I was out of DIZZY BITCH and was looking for a band to play drums for... and WENDY asked me if I would be interested in auditioning for this band called Guns N' Roses? and I said I don't know? she said I could meet the guitar player at her pad (She used to live in a Apt. I think it was called The FRANKLIN HOTEL) in Hollywood well! that's what atleast I think it was called? anyways... I was going out to Hollywood to hang-out with WENDY and her girl friends... and there was SLASH at her apt. I think he was staying there or hanging out there for awhile... Wendy really liked him and his band... anyway's it was a very quick meet and greet and then me and Wendy and her friends went out...except Slash! like I said, I thought he was staying there for awhile... so, he didn't go out with us anyways... later during the week... she said to me! so, what do you think? do you want to go audition for his band? and I said sure, where do they practice at? and where do they live? and she told me the all live in their "CARS" and I told Wendy are you "CRAZY" I'm not going to audition for those guys who live in their "CARS" are you "CRAZY'??? so, that's the True story! atleast! I got to meet Slash right! well, back then nobody cared except Wendy right? I even remember going to a show at the Timbers club somewhere? I don't really remember where it was located I just remember the name and what the club looked like and that was later on when they finally got a new drummer and nobody was at that show either? so, I always thought I made the right decision...

FIFI LARUE actually wrote the song that would become known as Warrant's "Cherry Pie"
True, I wrote a song called "Walkin' Cherry" that I put on my first Album...but, before I ever really finished getting that song recorded... I went to a show at the LONG BEACH ARENA it was a KNAC 5th anniversary concert show for Children of the night! ( I know for a fact cuz' I still have the Backstage Pass for that show!) anyways... OZZY OSBOURNE, L.A. GUNS, LYNCH MOB, ALICE IN CHAINS. all played that show.. I even paid for George Lynch and his Wifes Dinner at the Long Beach "DENNYS" in Downtown L.B... after the show... anyways getting back to this story! .well everyone was hangin' in the GREEN ROOM at the Long Beach Arena! I still can remember everything! Bullet Boys, Stryper,some guys from WITCH all were there even MR. "JANI LANE" anyways, I was there with my Ex. guitar player from DIZZY BITCH and also, my Ex.girlfiend Lisa... anyways both of these two people were standing next to me when I was talking to JANI by the bar! I remember this because me and Lisa was looking at the Blonde girl that was talking to Jani! and we were going to try to pick her up after Jani finish talking to her...( that's a whole other story) anyways! I approach Jani and said hey! I like your music and I happen to have a song that I think you might be interested in? and I hummed him the tune and I sang him the Lyrics and then I wrote down some of the lyrics on a Napkin and on the back I wrote my Phone number and name... and he said he would call me later during the week..(and while this was going on my ex. guitar player told me are you crazy? don't give him your song!) I was hopeing to collaborate with Jani since I think they were already signed to a label... anyways! I never heard back from Jani and in about 3 to 6 months later... CHERRY PIE comes out! I'll give it to him that he change the song around and lyric's around but, I was the Creator! of that fucking tune..."True Story" my ex. guitar player use to even laugh at me hey!... he fucking stoled your song Hahahaha...

FIFI LARUE was hit onstage by a barrage of baked goods on two separate occasions
Ha! do you know? EL TORO paid a "Crackhead Chick" to do this for him for $200.00 dollars... she got into the Keyclub and she accually got the donuts in! I even saw it coming when she just tossed the box up on stage like she was scared to do it ( She accually ripped EL TORO off! that's the best thing about this whole thing!!!) Hahaha~! and the donuts only hit me in the leg... and I went back to my bag that I had on stage and grab my Blood pack and I threw my "BLOOD PACK" at her and she got hit with "CANDY BLOOD" or atleast it hit someone? she ran-away really fast cuz'; she new I was going to throw something back at her... anyways! they made more of it than what it really was...? you have to understand "EL TORO' put's a "SPIN" on everything! if it's not a "LIE" its a "SPIN" it's never accually "Truth or even a Fact" and about the Secound time... I look it must have been that guy GARBAGEMAN from the message board ( this Guy looked like a total Nerd!) ... he was another scared little rabbit! he tried to throw a little Biscuit at me... at the WHISKY but, before he could get it thrown at me... my ROADIE grab him and Tossted him out! like a little Bitch! that he was... and then my ROADIE went back and picked up the biscuit and started eatting it! I guess he was accually a little hungry! Ha~!

FIFI LARUE graduated from high school
TRUE- my 12th grade report card had all As & Bs on it...pretty good for being the "CLASS CLOWN" right? I went to LBCC too... and I still find myself going back there... they have one of the "TOP RECORDING " Schools in California... that's where I have been learning Recording engineering... I'm Now! the Most "FAMOUS" person to come out of that School... or atleast the most popular... they all know about FIFI LARUE over there...

FIFI LARUE was never actually seen by the judges on Next Great American Band, they didn't criticize you to your face
The Judges where there and they did see us! well?...Now! if you want to ask me what that guy from the GOO GOO DOLLS Thought of me? then- I would tell you... I don't know? I didn't see him??? that's my "SPIN" on things! and I don't think he's the new Invisibleman? but, maybe he was when I was playing?

FIFI LARUE stands 6'2 and weighs 235
True but, I lost 10 pounds already! so, I could be around 225 now, you do want me to answer truthfully right? anyways! this whole weight thing has become such a joke! I'm seen the pics of "JABBA THE HUT" JIM TORGESON and I saw him at the Cat Club too at the WHISKY hanging out! The Guy is a fucking Balding "COW"... man! that guy is got to be in the 300's or 400's pound mark! did you see that pic he took of himself with Chris Holmes? He's bigger than the sign he carries...I'm sure he has to pay double fees on his plane fares or maybe he drives down here... who knows? I don't really care... the guy means absolutely Nothing to me...

FIFI LARUE is actually in demand for Metal Sludge because Stevie Rachelle wants him to do an interview
well Stevie asked me to do a 20 questions about 2 or 3 months ago... but, he didn't ask me nicely! and he was pretty much a asshole about it! I would have done it! but, the guy is out of his fucking mind! he accually thinks "TUFF" made a difference in the 80's music scene... if you would ask me or anyone off the fucking street to name one of their song's? nobody would know a title? he's lucky! if anyone who knows who "TUFF" or Stevie even is? I mean outside of his web-site people just don't care or even know anything about this guy (People Know who Bret Michaels is because he's in POISON) people don't know who Stevie is? why would he try so hard to look like Bret Michaels? ... it just doesn't make any sense? (People Now! know who "FIFI LARUE" is! because I was on NATIONAL T.V )...fuck! I'm even more popular than him or Tuff on his very own site-Metal Sludge... and Stevie can thank EL TORO for that! or maybe Stevie should thank "METALHOTGIRL" Ha!... maybe EL TORO should talk some shit about Tuff !and go on message boards too... maybe EL TORO can make a name out of TUFF! Ha! Hey... that's and Idea! maybe EL TORO can start accually making a living out of SLANDERING Bands... it's the only thing he knows how to do...but, hes not really that good at it? or he would be making money off it!!! I always said he was a fucking "FOOL"

FIFI LARUE is auctioning off the dirty, nasty toilet seen in the home footage for Next Great American Band on ebay
True...Dirty? maybe a little? Hey! whens the last time you been to a real recording studio? ( EL TORO's never seen the inside of one or atleast a real Studio before... how could he? he can't play guitar very well! so, who's going to want to record with him on anything?) anyways are you or him trying to tell me that you guys would "Eat off " a recording studios toilet because you believe it to always be clean in studios? Ha!...Come-on! it just doesn't happen... Nasty? Hey! I never had Sex on it!!! so, how could it be "NASTY" anyways! if you really look closer it's glue and blue paint sprinkles on it! from when I painted the room and sure there is some stain on it! Ha!... and I didn't bother to cover the Toilet for what? I never thought if would be on National T.V. but, it's not a new toilet people do use it when they need to go... it was pretty funny! anyways... I did used A-Jacks on it and I got the whole FIFI LARUE band to sign it! and I will be trying to get a few extra signatures on it too..before it hit's EBAY! look it's not a "GOLD AWARD' or even a "PLATINUM RECORD" be it is still the "SHIT'S!" don'tcha think it would be a great conversation piece at EL TORO's home... he can finally say he has a piece of FIFI LARUE T.V.. History in his home... fuck! it would probably be the most valuable thing he would personally own in his home... he can even finally put his "KISS the RING" saying to Rest! and he can Just go and "KISS the RING on FIFI LARUE's Toilet BOWL! and what do you think about that? EL TORO... Ha! KISS the RING on my BOWL! Bitch! Ha! didn't Andrew Dice Clay come up with that saying?

FIFI LARUE paid $1500 to play the Whiskey on Thrasho de Mayo and played to less than 50 people
False, I never paid that amount! but, there was 50 more people that showed up to my show! than EL TORO's next door "CAT CLUB' EL TORO party of "6 people... and I think that was even counting each band before and after each set... I heard "JOHNNY LUST" was "CRYIN' like a Fucking BABY!" cuz NOBODY SHOWED UP!" only EL TORO and his little bunch of "squirrels " only a handful of jokers who post on Metal Sludge... I think the 6 people call themselves the "Justic League" And, Justice did happen that night!... it was like a "NO SHOW!!!" for "EL TORO" man, EL TORO JIM "JABBA THE HUT" TORGESON has been claiming to know alot of people in the music industry and plus that he also claims to be a big-time promoter... I just have one Question? what fucking Happen??? "YOU FUCKING LOSER"??? Man! EL TORO must dream of having packed venues and knowing people in the music industry... cuz to me it looked like the only people he knows are the same people who write to him on his threads on METAL SLUDGE boards and thats the same fucking 6 people!... That's sure something to be proud off! Huh??? what a complete fucking joke! he even told one of my ex- guitar players once that he was really jealous of me... now! everyone one can finally fucking see why! cuz I made "NATIONAL T.V" too... the only way EL TORO will ever be on National T.V. is if he auditions for the "BIGGEST LOSER" show or he start's Saleing used Cars for a living...Ha! also, Listen for all those bands out there that "CLAIM"that they don't do pre-sale or pay to play it's all bullshit! because everyone has to do it! not just me...How! do you think? they pay the Headliner? the club doesn't pay the Headliner the money... it all comes from the other bands...so, for all the bands out there with Ego's who are you foolin' you all have to do it too... I don't have a problem with it! it guarantees the club people will show up! and you need to guarantee a audience when you play big venus! unless you play for EL TORO he books bands that can't even fucking draw a "PICTURE" Ha!!!

FIFI LARUE has met Gene Simmons in person
I met him (GENE SIMMONS) several times...he knows who? FIFI LARUE is...I'm sure he's a big fan now! especially now! that I'm on one of his FAMILY JEWELS Show episodes...

I asked an old friend of yours if he had any questions for you, and this is what he sent:

"Since ElToro drives a Jaguar and a Titan, has music on a nationally distributed CD, married a beautiful woman, has 2 honor roll kids, weighs at least 50 pounds less than you, graduated from UCLA, sold out tons of shows with no presale tickets, owns a couple businesses and properties, and kicked your ass all over Metal Sludge, why do you think you are superior to him?"

Your response?

"Since ElToro drives a Jaguar and a Titan,
Just because he drives these cars doesn't mean he accually really owns them? he probably makes payments on them...Look! I'm sure the Jaguar he has is the most inexpensive one... available... what? their like $25,000 to 30,000 I could go right now! and BUY myself a brand new CORVETTE $40,000 to $50,000 if I wanted too...But, why? I don't want to be in debt... and I'm sure he is... in debt! I own my 1987 Corvette and it still runs good...just doesn't make any sense? and so, fucking what! my drummer has a Brand New Red Hemi (EL DIABLO) that smokes that Jag! and it's worth more that EL TOROS fucking Jag! and a Titan is like a "DUMPTRUCK" is waste gas!!! but, EL TORO needs something that "BIG" to "HAUL HIS FAT UGLY JABBA THE HUT ASS AROUND!"

has music on a nationally distributed CD,
in his fucking "DREAMS" lets see some proof-fuck! I wanna hear it too?... "We'll Maybe NOT!!!" I don't care... it's not anything anyone would want the hear anyways! except, if he has to force it down his wife and kids "EARS" cuz' that's the only people that's going to want to hear his "SHIT!!!" talking about something and posting stupid shit like he does... is just so, fucking hilarious to me... I'm the one with a National Distribution Deal... Check in about a week or so, at the New F.Y.E. Stores my Cd will be available for $9.99 and please... if you don't see it in the stores yet! please! ask the guy behind the counter to look it up in their warehouse product inventory! it will be in there... Look! you just can't believe anything that fat fuck EL TORO says he has no proof... and what so, he put his own Cd in a store once by walking into the store and putting it on Consignment! most bands used to do that! I even did that at Tower Records back in the day! when I came out with my first Album... so, I did what he did back them too... but, I'm still doing it! NOW!!! and he "ISN'T" and in a much more larger and bigger scale and I didn't have to walk in to each fucking store to do it either... I landed probably the best deal any unsigned act could do right now for themselves... the "PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING JACK!!!" and my pudding is tasting pretty good right Now! EL TORO is a fucking joke! he can't even play guitar!~he knows how to Collect them...but, doesn't know how to play thing? it shouldn't be "GUITARS" cuz' he can't even "HOLD" a guitar correctly!!! He should be collecting "STAMPS" or something? like that! cuz' Licking is all he knows how to do!!! and I bet he's tried to lick his own Balls before too... so, big fucking deal! like, I said this guy JIM "JABBA THE HUT" TORGESON is jealous of me... and I love it!

married a beautiful woman,
beautiful that's all in the eyes of tbe beholder right? when in the early 80's? or early 90's? she was beautiful? or sometime in her life? why does he only shows one picture of her from way way back when? it's not like a recent pic either...who care's ? I've been out with way! way! more beautiful women than his wife... he had to settle for what he could get? right? so, how does that insult me? I still get and do beautiful women...Remember I'm a (ROCKSTAR NOW!!!) and I can't even understand his thinking? and look what he looks like now? I bet she's just hateing life now? knowing she probably could have done way better for herself that JIM "JABBA THE HUT" TORGESON... I bet shes just starting to hate every minute of him posting on message boards and things like that? I mean I'm a big part of his life Now! you can see it! he's on everyday and everynight on boards talking about me FIFI LARUE and telling all kinds of lies about me too... do you ever stop! and think? that this guys! has "LOST IT!!!" and do you really believe a Guy like this has so much going on for himself? like he states on boards... look! if he didn't spend that kinda time talking about me... I even might believe it? but, it's so over whelming that this guy has spent more time on message boards than working or being with his family! it's just so fucking ridiculous to believe anything this FAT BALDING ASS! has say... it's just not fucking "TRUE"

has 2 honor roll kids,
did you say two "DINNER ROLLS"??? I'm sure he's looking at his kids as a happy meal or something? right now! "JABBA THE HUT"

weighs at least 50 pounds less than you,
his scale must be "BROKEN!!!" have you even ever seen him before? and recently? this guy is in the 300's or 400's mark... and I'm NO-WAY! even close to that! and this guy is the guy whos telling you he graduated from UCLA... he can't even read his own fucking scale at home...

graduated from UCLA,
I bet his parents paid for it too... and do you know what's so, funny about this statement? is that! if someone graduates form UCLA... you would expect them to do very good or well in life... not, become a freeloader off his Mother-in-laws bank account...Live in the fucking desert! out in the middle of nowhere? he doesn't even live in one of the Main Citys... also, he's stated he has a "SIGN COMPANY" right? he had to graduate from UCLA to start that kind of business??? Wow! I could have gotten that fucking Idea? just by looking at the Homeless people "HOLDING SIGNS" it doesn't take a degree from UCLA to come up with a Idea like that? and he didn't someone else came up! with that ARROW Sign business before him! so, he just ripped someone else idea too...so, Way to go UCLA!!! and that's not a UCLA business student career either... that's like fucking have a fucking "PAPER ROUTE" Ha! anyways degress don't mean noihing but, as far as you can post them on message boards right? and atleast I have a real "CONTRACTORS LICENSE" on me... and I don't have to go talking about it on message boards to prove it? and I've been self-employed for 11 years now, and I don't have to BUY Fucking used guitars from PAWN shops like EL TORO does to try to make a living... we'll he doesn't have to make a living right! his Mother-In-Law already does it for him right???

sold out tons of shows
I only remember him ever doing was like two shows one with "VIRGIN" and the other with "CHINA" where? are the other "TONS" of shows??? where and when did this happen? let's see some proof!!! plus... he and his band didn't SALE -OUT! those show's it was the HEADLINER of those shows and his band didn't headline the shows either ( Like most bands that play shows with Headliners they made their own Flyiers and ads to make it look like they are the Headliners) but, everyone does it! and so did he'... but, I will give him this! his band probably got the same 6 people that show-up! from the "CAT CLUB" to those shows back in 80's cuz' those are real true Die-Hard!!! "EL TORO" fans right! another "BULLSHIT" statement...

with no presale tickets,
what a fucking liar...

owns a couple businesses and properties,
Businesses ( what? his PAPER ROUTE) Properties ( what? he owns Cemetary Plots!... Now too???)

and kicked your ass
It never happen! he finally did state that all he ever did was grab me from someone ...I was going to fight! so, all he ever really did was break up a fight! between me and someone else... there was never any "TRUTH" to a "BEATDOWN" it was always a fucking "LIE" and like everthing else that "EL TORO" life is about... it is all a "FUCKING LIE" or atleast "JEALOUSY" towards me... and I always "WIN" cuz' I prove him wrong on everything all the time... he keeps "LOSING AND LOSING THIS BATTLE!!!" he was "BORN A LOSER" and will live the rest of his days a "LOSER!!!" posting on message boards...hopefully still about me... Cuz' I can't beat the "FREE PRESS" I got to love that "IDIOT'S OF THIS WORLD" like him are still around cuz' I'm one too... I'm the most "FAMOUS KILLER CLOWN" around!!! Love FIFI "ELVIS" LARUE

all over Metal Sludge
Big Fucking Deal? and so,what? and who cares? Stevie Rachelle owns Metal Sludge! be fucking deal again! ( FIFI LARUE's Web-site WWW.FIFILARUE.COM) got a 100,000 hits last week... Metal Sludge hasn't had that kind of Action since Stevie "BANNED" me from his site... we'll accually never got that kinds action...and Who is Stevie? anyways... a "NOBODY!" posting on the METAL SLUDGE boards might be fun? but, it's not going to get you signed or on T.V. if it could? Stevie and El Toro would be the ones on T.V. right now! and getting there Cds in stores too... not me.. but, their not and "IT IS ME!!!".believe me... I know cuz' I've done things only the people on the threads dream of doing! that's why they write about me... cuz' I'm a doer and their just "GOSSIP GROUPIES!!!" for the Band FIFI LARUE

why do you think you are superior to him?
Cuz' I made it!!! in the Music and Entertainment Industry already! and the (WORLD KNOWS MY NAME NOW!) and I never gave up! and probably won't ever either... and hes ( EL TORO ) is still "COLLECTING" his Pawn Shop guitars and posting on Message Boards... and still Klinging onto my ( FIFI LARUE ) "COAT TAILS" every chance he has...and he probably will always keep posting on those message boards and that's his only real connection to any kind of music industry... and it's sad! but, pathetic too..but, atleast it's "TRUE"...

Your response?
Contrary to "EL TORO'S" beliefs that "FIFI LARUE's" appearince on THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND Show...first episode was the "END of FIFI LARUE'S Music Career" the Shows producers called him back! this week to appear on the show again... for a brief appearince and also, the All Girl Band "ROCKET" shows their Homage to the Great " GOTHIC KILLER CLOWN OF ROCK N' ROLL" by useing his qoute "START THIS ONE JACK!" before their live performance on National T.V. for one of their original great ROCKET tunes... and FIFI returned the Favor by helping Campaign for VOTES for "ROCKET" on the Show! and this Friday night everyone will get there chance to see FIFI LARUE again! even "ELTORO!". FIFI LARUE's Music Career is just fucking starting... and EL TORO's Music career was over the first day it ever started...EL TORO is just hangin' onto FIFI LARUE's "COAT TAILS" on various message boards now, Proving to Himself! and to others How Much of a LOSER! JIM "JABBA THE HUT" TORGESON ( EL TORO ) really is...

LOVE ME ? OR HATE ME? I'M THE GOTHIC KILLER CLOWN OF ROCK N' ROLL! FIFI "ELVIS" LARUE...

I'M A LAUGH AND I'M A JOKE...
BUT, I'M YOUR WILL AND I'M YOUR ONLY HOPE...

AND LET'S ALL!... JUST TRY TO GET ALONG...
LET'S BRING BACK !!! "HEAVY METAL" ARE YOU WITH ME???

ELVIS!... has left the building...


Wow. Thanks to FIFI LARUE for taking some time to talk with us. Visit his official website via the preceeding link, join him on myspace, pick up some FIFI swag, or just leave him a comment below.

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