Pesto Hemp Cream Sauce

It is now spring break here and I am glad to be out of school! In honor of this occasion, I have some pictures for you and a new recipe. School is now halfway over, I still have a 4.0, and I just finished up the Chocolate and Sugar quarter. Here are some excellent photos of the things I have created in the past 11 weeks.

This was my first attempt at a chocolate centerpiece. This is a margarita glass filled with truffles. The 'salt' around the rim is coconut, and the rest is solid white chocolate, with a dark chocolate umbrella.

This is the group centerpiece (2 others in my group). It consists of about 25 pounds of dark, white and milk chocolate. Cool, huh? -- just ignore the messy table and the rest of the peeps in my lab.

This is the result of a class sugar project that 8 students including myself pulled off in about 3 1/2 hours.

This is a cocoa painting done on a pastillage canvas, which is a powdered sugar dough that becomes hard when dried. The dancing bears and the SYF logo are separate pieces and the roses are handmade. This took about 12 hours to finish.

This is my final project, which took my group 3 days to finish. The leprechaun and the sun are pastillage, the pot o' gold and coins are chocolate, and the rest is sugar. I created the mold for the rainbow and clouds myself, which stands 26 inches high and consists of 6 separately poured colors of about 5 pounds total weight. My grade? What do you think?

Enough about my fun - here's a great recipe for pesto cream sauce~

PESTO HEMP CREAM SAUCE

1/4 ounce hemp
2 cups basil leaves (about 25 - 30 leaves)
1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup toasted pine nuts (walnuts, pecans, or almonds are good too)
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
2 garlic cloves
Salt, pepper to taste
1 Tablespoon unsalted butter
1/2 cup white wine
1 cup heavy cream
2 Tablespoons Parmesan (again)
1 pound your favorite pasta, cooked al dente (I like Penne for this)

Get out your food processor for this one. Put the hemp (stems and seeds removed) and the basil in the processor and pulse a few times until it all fits. Add the oil, nuts, parmesan, garlic, salt and pepper. Blend in the processor until it becomes a smooth paste. You may add oil a tablespoon at a time if needed. Once this is made, you can freeze it up to 6 months or refrigerate for 2-3 weeks.

In a large saute pan, melt the butter and add 1/2 cup of the pesto. Cook on low heat for 10 minutes, being careful to keep the heat low enough so the butter does not brown. Add the white wine and simmer until reduced by half. Add the heavy cream and simmer for just a few minutes to thicken slightly. Toss the pasta and parmesan in the sauce and serve immediately. YUM!~

The HeMpErEd Chef~

Pecan Hemp Pie

Before I begin my article, I would like to give some credit where credit is due. The Bong State Recreation Area picture from my last article was actually gleaned from another site. I thought it was a cool picture, and I never got a chance to see that sign while I was up there. I want no animosity within the DeadHead circle and would like to apologize to the original owner of the picture. Here is the site, if you would like to see lots of other pictures taken from the Terrapin Station shows in Alpine Valley. Terrapin Station ~

Now, on to the real stuff. I am happy to report that I have received my FIRST email from fans of my site. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com wrote:

I was wondering. What if a guy had like a whole bunch of cannibutter but was tired of just making brownies, what else could he use the butter for?

This is a very good question indeed! First of all, I would like to mention that cannibutter can be used in practically any recipe that calls for butter. Once the butter is made, you can spread it on toast, plop a little on grilled fish, or even use it in a recipe for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. I can't say how good it will taste, but it can easily be used for just about anything. The recipes I have included in this site strive to use the FLAVOR of weed to enhance dishes or in dishes that can cover up its strong nutty flavor. I would like to mention on a personal note that the Peanut Butter 420 Cookies were one of my best attempts at covering up the sometimes strong flavor of marijuana. (I know because I just finished eating my batch I had frozen some months ago!) Here is a recipe that just might be even better!

~Pecan Hemp Pie~

1/2 to 1 oz. of cheap pot
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup ( 1/2 stick) plus 2 Tablespoons unsalted butter
1 tablespoon all purpose flour
3/4 cup dark corn syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 large eggs
1 cup chopped pecans
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 purchased frozen deep-dish 9-inch pie crust

Before doing anything, make a cannibutter recipe using the butter and weed, and cool it down to roon temperature. (See recipe elsewhere on this page.) Cool it down to room temperature and beat with the sugar until smooth. Add the flour. Gradually beat in the corn syrup, then flour. Mix in the eggs, one at a time, then add the chopped pecans. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Sprinkle the chocolate chips over the bottom of the crust, then pour the filling over the top. Wrap the edge of the crust with aluminum foil (to prevent browning) and bake for about 45 minutes, removing the foil in the last 15 minutes. Cool completely and refrigerate at least 4 hours before consuming. This recipe serves 8-12 depending on the potency ~ remember not to consume too much, it can cause dizziness and nausea at extremely HIGH levels!~

Veggie Burritos

It has taken me a full week to recover from last weeks adventure. I can proudly say that I was one of the lucky ones who were able to go to the Grateful Dead Family Reunion. Not only was it one of the best shows I have been to, it was also an incredibly fun time. As you can see above, a friend of mine took this picture of one of the local state parks. And they wonder why all the Deadheads flocked to this one!

Anyway, the 'trip' was worth the hassles at the airport and missing a day of school. For the record, I am currently holding a 99 average at culinary school and having fun doing it. Also, I passed the National ServSafe exam, so you can bet everything I make for you is done safely. In light of the resurgence of the Grateful Dead (renamed The Other Ones without Jerry) I have decided to give you one of the recipes for stuff you can buy in the Deadhead Parking Lots at shows.

Ah, yes, the classic Veggie Burrito.

Of course, you can never tell exactly what is in one of those, and sometimes you might get a 'dose' of something you didn't expect, especially if it's purchased from some crazy person in Tie-dye. Just one more note before I head into the recipe ~ Within the first 9 days of August lies Jerry Garcia's birthdate, date of his last performance, and the anniversary of his death. We Deadheads are recognizing this week as 'Jerry Week' and are taking time to reflect on his contributions to the world.

Thank you for a real good time, Jerry!

By the way, this rainbow appeared during Robert Hunter's (lyricist that wrote with Jerry) last song on the last day, Brokedown Palace. It was as if Jerry Garcia was there watching over us. It was a double rainbow, and you can just barely make it out. The crowd was on it's feet, cheering and screaming their heads off ~ all 35,000 of us!

Veggie Burritos~

2 Green Peppers
2 Onions
2 Zucchinis
2 Yellow Squashes
1 Carrot
1 can refried beans
8 Large tortilla shells
Cheese - optional
Oil, salt, pepper to taste

This one is easy, and can been done on a small hibachi in a parking lot if need be. Simply slice the veggies into strips, but the carrots into very thin strips. Toss the veggies in a little oil (enough to coat) and sprinkle with a little salt and pepper. Grill until just tender and remove from grill. Warm the refried beans and set aside. To assemble, set each tortilla shell on the grill for 10 seconds on each side then remove. Divide the grilled veggies into 8 portions. Put a scoop a refried beans in the middle of a tortilla, along with 1/8 of the veggies. Add cheese if you wish, then fold the ends over and roll up. Repeat this 7 more times, and you have enough to feed a VW busload of hippies!

Black Magic Cake with Peanut Butter-Cream Cheese Frosting

Today starts my first day of Culinary School, and what also begins a long journey towards an unknown destination. Cool, huh? I will still continue to drop a column off every now and then. To celebrate the beginning of the new school, the new pad, and everything else that is exciting going on here, I baked a wonderful cake for my girlfriend and I. I have to give her some credit here, because she found the original cake recipe on the Internet. She made this cake with Peanut Butter Cream Cheese frosting for my birthday in December and I loved every bite. So following here is the adapted recipe, with or without ganja. I have even included a picture, so you can see what it looked like before it was devoured by everyone.

If you want to make this cake with some herb, do the following procedure first: Take a half cup plus 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil, place in a heavy bottom saute pan over medium heat, and toss in 1 half ounce of finely chopped ganja. Bring the oil up to a slight simmer, then reduce down to very low heat for 15-20 minutes stirring occasionally. Do not overheat the oil to avoid burning! Cool and strain through cheesecloth or a coffee filter, squeezing to remove all the oil from the herbs. Make sure oil is room temperature before continuing, and replace the regular salad oil with your batch of hemp-infused oil.

~Black Magic Cake~
2 cups flour
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup cocoa
2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 cup black coffee (room temperature)
1 cup milk
1/2 cup salad oil
2 tsp. vanilla

This is simple. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Sift the dry ingredients into a large mixing bowl. Add the eggs and the liquids, and stir the batter with a whisk until smooth. The batter will be fairly thin. Pour into a greased 9X13 pan or two 9-inch cake pans. Bake for 35 minutes or a toothpick stuck in the center comes out clean. Cool completely then remove the cakes from the 9-inch pans if you are using them. If using the 9X13 pan, then just cool completely in the pan.

~Peanut Butter Cream Cheese Frosting~
8 oz. package cream cheese (softened)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup creamy peanut butter
2/3 cup heavy cream

Mix the cream cheese and sugar with an electric mixer on low for 30 seconds, then on medium high for 2 minutes until soft and combined. Scrape down the bowl and beater(s), and add the peanut butter. Beat on medium for 30 seconds until thoroughly combined. Transfer the mixture into a large bowl, then put the heavy cream in the bowl. Whip until soft peaks form then fold into the cream cheese peanut butter mixture. Refrigerate for 1/2 hour then stir before using.

~Yummy Topping!~
Bake 1 cup of chopped pecans on 350 until slightly browned and roasted. Remove from the oven and toss lightly with salt. Cool completely, then add 1 cup mini morsels and toss to combine.

~The Assembly~
Frost the entire 9X13 pan with the peanut-butter cream-cheese frosting. Sprinkle the yummy topping on and refrigerate for at least 2 hours before slicing.

Frost the top of one 9-inch layer then place the other on top and frost entire outside of cake with the peanut-butter cream-cheese frosting. Then press the yummy topping onto the sides of the cake. (See picture) Refrigerate for at least 2 hours before slicing.

Serves at least 12!

Enjoy~
~The HemPereD CheF~

Chicken Hemp Roulade

Well, it seems there are going to be some major changes with the Hempered Chef's life coming soon. I will be starting culinary school to be a Pastry Chef - but I will always be a Hempered Chef. This daring undertaking requires a move back to my hometown and the outlay of major dinero. But it will be worth it!

Coming soon I will be emailing James with pictures of some of the recipes I present here. Also, you will have noticed, I have added a disclaimer. I felt this was necessary to prevent any future legal trouble. This is America, the only country still fighting a war on drugs - and losing every day.

So this one will be short and sweet, but still tasty - although I am deviating from my usual use of cannibutter. This time, I will be using 'hemp' as a flavoring rather than as a use to get petrified on your couch. Enjoy the taste, and you may feel pleasant after dinner. Just don't eat an entire chocolate cake for dessert!

~Chicken Hemp Roulade~

4 - 6 ounce Boneless, skinless chicken breasts
2 Tablepoons Olive Oil
1 Bag of fresh spinach leaves
4 Cloves of garlic, minced
8 ounces Fontinella Cheese, grated
1 Joint's worth of Herbal Flavoring

This one is simple. Pound the chicken breasts between plastic wrap one at a time with a mallet until fairly thin, and put aside. In a saute pan, heat the Olive Oil over medium heat until hot. Add the garlic and 'Herbs' and saute for 2 minutes, then add all the spinach. Place a lid on top and cook for 2 minutes, then remove from heat and stir until all the leaves are wilted. You may put back on heat and continue cooking until all are wilted (soft). Place to the side and cool. Drain off any excess liquid after cooling, add the Fontinella Cheese and stir until well combined. Divide the spinach mixture into 4 equal portions, and place in the center of each chicken breast. Roll the chicken up, tucking the ends under and secure with toothpicks. Place on a baking sheet and bake at 375 degrees for 20-25 minutes, until chicken in cooked and filling is hot. Top with either a Hollandaise Sauce or even Marinara, the choice is yours.

Enjoy!

The HeMpEred ChEf~

Easter Grass Peanut Butter Cups

High~dee~ho all you stoner people. It has been some time since my last contribution to famousjames.com. There are always new and exciting things happening here. Within the last week, I have been swamped with all sorts of major catastrophes. First of all, I blew a tire on I-95, and it was two hours before someone who wasn't an insensitive prick drove by. So after this ordeal I have to drop a hundred bucks to spring for new tires. Great, just in time for me to pay the taxman, too. Well, it gets even more catastrophic than this! The next evening, after my car spending the whole day at a certain 'place' (I can't say the name due to a police investigation) my car was broken into, my stereo ripped from my dash, my steering column trashed (another $320 forked out today) my back seat destroyed, AND my trunk and door locks fucked up.... Thank you, Youth of America!

And also thank you, Mr. Insurance man for paying to fix most of it. But I am out a stereo (not my 12" Punches, though you sorry fuckers). So at least my car is fixed, but no more tunes until I get another deck.

Oh yes, I almost forgot.

So here is the reason everyone is tuning in to my sporadic column as it is. I made some great Easter Candy a few weeks ago, and I thought I would share with you all.

Easter Grass Peanut Butter Cups

1 stick Cannibutter (made with 1/2 oz. Easter grass)
2 cups powdered sugar
2/3 cup peanut butter
1 cup graham cracker crumbs
1 teaspoon any flavor or liquor
Lots of milk chocolate chips
at least 3 dozen muffin cups
small paintbrush

First cut the muffin cups in half -- not vertically, stoners -- and set them aside. Melt 2 bags of chocolate chips on medium in your microwave (or double boiler on your stove) until melted just enough to be spread. Using the paintbrush, 'paint' the inside of the muffin cups with a thin coating of chocolate. Make sure you cover the bottom and sides completely. Place on a flat pan and refrigerate until chocolate is set. Keep refrigerated until you mix the filling.

Now, Mix together melted Cannibutter, powdered sugar, graham cracker crumbs, peanut butter, and the flavoring in a large bowl until well mixed. Mixture should stick together, but not be too moist. Now, form small patties that will fit inside the muffin cups, and fill as many as you can. After all the filling is used, melt more chocolate chips and pour over the filling, just covering it completely. Refrigerate and you are done! This recipe is about 12 servings, so be careful how many you eat!

Easy stoner method. Take any size cake pan, casserole dish or whatever, and line with parchment paper (NOT rolling papers). Pour melted chocolate chips in, covering the bottom. Refrigerate, then mix the filling as directed above. Spread ALL of the filling in the pan, covering the chocolate layer completely, except for a thin layer along the edges of the pan. Melt more chocolate chips and spread in a thin layer over the peanut butter filling layer and then refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. You can then pop the whole panful out, and gobble it all down!

The HemPereD CheF~

The Original Hempered Greenies

What a long strange trip it's been!

I apologize to my fans (If I have any) for the long time between additions to my column. My buddies Famous and The Happy Hour Chef have been watching 'Cops' night after night to see if I was featured, but to no avail. My only excuse is that I finally put down my joint long enough to add another recipe.

Actually, I have been locked away in my kitchen with pounds of weed and a huge supply of various ingredients, just to come up with new and exciting ways to eat marijuana without the nasty taste. I have finally emerged from the depths of my stupor, and since I ran out of Visine, I might as well sit down and share some recipes. This recipe is not for the faint-at-heart, and only recommended for those who are prepared for an evening of being stupefied.

In reviewing my past recipes on Famous's new website, I realized the original Hempered Brownies were not available. So what better way to announce my return to the world than with the classic recipe that started it all! Since they contain some Mary Jane, I decided to call them Greenies, instead of brownies~

First, you must make the special butter I call 'Cannibutter'. This is the secret ingredient and the secret to the potency. Take a half ounce of weed -- stems, seeds, and all -- and chop it extremely fine. I recommend pulverizing the hell out of it in a food processor, but any method you use is fine. Melt a stick of butter in a saute pan on VERY low heat. Add the chopped weed, and simmer on low heat for 20 minutes to a half-hour. DO NOT BURN THE BUTTER! Stir occasionally and watch carefully. Remove from the heat, and strain through cheesecloth, squeezing to get all the butter out. Cool the butter completely and discard the green stuff, for you have just extracted all of the THC out of it. Science is wonderful, isn't it? You can store the butter in your fridge for up to 30 days if you get distracted.

Now to make the brownies. You will need:

1 Cannibutter recipe
1/2 stick butter, softened
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
3 eggs
1/2 cup cocoa
3/4 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powde
r 1 cup chopped, toasted nuts (optional, but helps with the flavor)
1 cup chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 13X9 inch pan.

Beat the butters, eggs, sugar and vanilla in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, mix together the cocoa, flour, baking powder, and salt. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture, and stir with a wooden spoon to combine. Stir in the nuts and chocolate chips. Pour into a pan and bake for 20 to 22 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Cool the brownies and then cut into 8 pieces...each piece is plenty enough to have you stoned for hours. Of course, if you want brownies instead of greenies, then just substitute a stick of butter for the Cannibutter.

ENJOY!

Email The HemPereD CheF~

American Pie

Okay, so I am going Patriotic this time...I almost went Medieval but I am waiting until I have some prooF... I might as well jump on the bandwagon, since there is a PLETHORA of anti- bin Laden photos all over the web, stuffed in my mailbox, and too many religious messages floating around through forwarded emails. If you want my opinion, each one of these photos was started from some F*D in the head Islamic militant bent on destroying the evil USA (United Satanic Americans) and has some virus embedded in that is going to make all nuclear missiles launch on New Year's Day 2002. ANd speaking of those messages about God and Allah and Satan's face in the cloud and whatnoT....well, let's just say I despise the "under God" part of any American song, since according to South Park only the Mormons are going to Heaven anyway.

Enough waving the flag and bashing bin Laden..... LET'S HAVE DESSERT!

1 cup Blueberry Pie filling
1 cup Cherry Pie filling
1 10" Pie shell
2 8 oz. packages cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup heavy cream

Preheat the oven to 420...umm I mean 350 degrees. Beat the cream cheese on low speed until smooth, scraping down the sides of the bowl occasionally. Add sugar and eggs, alternating, beating well after each addition until smooth. Add vanilla and cream, and beat until just combined. Pour the filling in the crust. Add the fillings, in bits across the pie, and stir with the handle of a wooden spoon until it is just swirled. Cover the crust edge of the pie with aluminum foil, and bake in the middle of the oven for 35 to 45 minutes..pie will be not be set in the center, but will set as it chills. Cool in the Fridge for at least 8 hours (overnight is best) and ENJOY!

Kabobs Bin Laden

Wow...it has been a long time since I last posted a recipe for James. Since then, we have had quite a change in America. I thank James for his patriotism in posting a picture I found on the web. The cartoon of the Statue of Liberty was actually drawn a few hours after the tragedy took place.

Today's recipe is in honor of our upcoming smackdown of the perpetrator of the most heinous attacks. I guess Desert Storm just wasn't enough to convince these people of America's strength and power...of course we will overcome, because we always do. My thoughts go out to all of those familes destroyed - the damage goes way beyond physical destruction.

1 Green Pepper
1 Red Pepper
1 White Onion
1/2 Pound Beef Cubes
1/2 Pound Chicken Tenders
8 Bamboo Skewers - at least 8 inches
Sesame seeds

Glaze:
1/2 cup Honey
1 Teapoon freshly minced ginger (2 Teaspoons ground)
2 Tablespoons Cumin
2 Tablespoons oregano
1/4 cup sesame oil
Salt and Pepper to taste

Blend all the glaze ingredients and set aside. Let it sit overnight in the fridge if you can, to let the flavors blend well. Cut all the kabob veggies into 16 equal pieces, and the meats into 16 pieces (approximately a half ounce each). Push them onto the kabob skewers, making 4 chicken and 4 beef. I suggest this order: Onion, red pepper, meat, green pepper, meat, red pepper, meat, green pepper, meat, onion. The trick is to make sure the pieces of meat aren't too large so they will cook quickly and the veggies will still be a little firm. After making all the kabobs, lay them next to each other in a pan. Brush with the glaze, and sprinkle sesame seeds on them. You can either bake them in a preheathed oven at 400 degrees for 10-15 minutes, or cook them on the grill, turning once and basting with any extra glaze.

You can serve them with some rice....if you want to get patriotic, make three small batches of rice; one white, one with some red food color and one with some blue color added. Rinse the rice after cooking and cool until they are all the same temperature. Then mix together and reheat in oven with the kabobs or in the microwave.

I suggest a small mention of those lost in the terrorist attack upon serving.

Feeds 4 hungry Americans~
The HeMpEred ChEf~

Weed S'Mores

I seem to be running into some intense bad luck recently. First, the private club I was working for laid me off due to slow summer season. Then, after convincing my part time job to fire their head chef and let me take over, another person has bought the place and will be turning it into a rave club. Now, I am out searching for the right place to work (again). The people who bought the place want me to stay and work with them in an Italian restaurant they are opening with part of the property they leased from the hotel, but I will no longer be in charge, and the salary is less than I am worth. Besides, they don't even know when they are going to open the place.

At least it gives me time to experiment in the kitchen for you stoners, even though I am not getting paid. If you care to send me a donation (heh) email me. This next creation is thanks to an inspiration from watching Half Baked. I thought, 'Why not make some WEED s'mores?' (Have you ever seen Scent of a Woman..........on WEED???)

2 Graham crackers
2 Tablespoons marshmallow spread
1/2 Hershey Bar
1 Tablespoon Peanut Butter (I prefer Jif Extra CHunky)
2 Tablespoons butter
1 Joint's worth of weed (finely chopped)

This recipe only serves 1, and can be multiplied. Take the butter and the weed and saute it on low heat for 15-20 minutes, being careful not to burn the butter. Strain the butter through a coffee filter or cheesecloth to remove the weed bits. Add the hershey bar, broken into pieces, and stir in until completely melted - you can return it to the heat if needed, just make sure it is on SUPER low. Now add the peanut butter and stir until blended. Cool to room temperature. Now spread the chocolate mixture on one graham cracker, and the marshmallow stuff on the other one. Slap them together and enjoy!

The HeMpEred ChEf~

Hempered Stir Fry

WOAH~
That's all I can say for my poor friend the Happy Hour Chef. I understand completely where he is at...for I have just recently been 'laid off' my job also. It was all really about the political B.S. that happens around private organizations like Elks club. Okay, so they do a lot of good for children's hospitals, it's just too bad that all of the members there are ASSHOLES. (No hard feelings, right?) Well, at least it frees me up to go cook in a real restaurant, instead of some shithole kitchen that prefers their soup from a can and their steaks from the freezer.

Enough bitchin'. I simply just unwound after this turn of events with my latest creation, and my new CD's. I was able to locate the Pearl Jam shows from Palm Beach, back in August last year. I ordered both of them since I wasn't able to go to both shows. Nice sound and great live tunes. Too bad for James that he doesn't care for the Grateful Dead - they were pioneers in concert production in their time, and were the originators of the 'Wall of Sound', similar to today's large scale concert stacks.

Anyway...enjoy this one~

2 Tablespoons Sesame Oil
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut into thin slices
1 small can bamboo shoots
1 small can water chestnuts
1 cup broccoli, chopped
1/2 cup carrots, sliced
1/4 cup cashews, whole preferred
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 Tablespoon Peanut Butter
1 pinch crushed red pepper (or more heh~)
1/2 ounce hemp cleaned from the stems, with seeds, chopped fine (I use a food processor to bring to almost powdered state)

This is a simple, 1 pot meal (heh)....

Take a saute' pan large enough to hold all your ingredients and heat the sesame oil over medium heat until HOT. Add the hemp AND seeds. Saute for 5 minutes, then add the chicken. Turn the heat up to medium high, and cook until the chicken is completely cooked. Add the rest of the ingredients except the soy sauce, and saute until soft. Add the soy sauce and cook for just a minute. This recipe serves 4, so DON'T eat it all yourself....you may just wake up in November.

The HeMpEred ChEf~

Poaches Appleswith Cinnamon Ice Cream

13 hours of music. 10,000 Freaks. $4.00 Ice Tea. What is all this? Why, it was Ozzfest in Tampa, Florida. Before I give you the latest from the kitchen of the Hempered Chef, let me tell you about my latest excursion into the real of live music.

I must begin with a little rant ~ first of all, this was by far THE MOST EXPENSIVE Concert I have ever attended. The tickets were $65.95 each when you add in TicketBastard's cut, which is pretty fucking outRAGEous! That is the cost for a general admission ticket, which was all that was available. The thing the I am the most pissed about however, is the fact that they changes Venues. Originally, the was going to take place in an open field in Zephyrhills. Awesome..,outdoor concerts are great, and they sound great. NOOOOOOOO....they moved it to Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, an indoor baseball stadium. There were 2 stages outside, and the main stage inside for the last 8 bands. But in order to get floor admission, you had to be one of the first 5,000 when they open the doors at 4:00. WHen we arrived at 1:00...they had opened the doors already! And all the floor spots were gone. WHat BullshiT! Now we paid to sit up in the crappy baseball seats. The inside bands were not supposed to start until after the outside bands were done. But they fucked that up too! We decided to skip Mudvayne (I thought they sucked) and cruise indoors to get some air conditioning and to relax before the first band inside started....and to get some decent seats. WHat do I hear coming from inside.... the first band...What the Hell? Zakk Wylde's Black Label Society. I thought they sucked, but he played a couple of kewl solos.

Then followed Crazytown, Linkin Park, then Disturbed. They were okay, they played their hit songs okay, but I really was looking forward to disturbed. Lead singer comes out on stage and says, "You wanna see something REALLY FUCKED UP?!? The video turns on the huge Movie Screens there for us poor fuckers in the stands. The dude is hammering a nail into his nose!! I think to myself, 'Damn, that IS really fucked up. What a bastard.' They were awesome on stage UNTIL they broke out into one of the most despised songs I can think of.....'Shout', by those fags Tears for Fears. Oh my GOD...I almost 'fed the fish' (barfed) on the guy in fromt of me. I also dropped this band about 56 notches down on my kewl list. After that, Papa Roach. THEY SUCK ASS....We went to go get some ice cream for the group, and returned to ignore the band and wait for Slipknot. WOAH! SOme really intense death metal.....My girlfriend's brother was solo-moshing since you can't do that shit in the stands with cops everywhere. They were high energy and they played a kewl version of 'Wait and Bleed' that was like 10 minutes long....then MANSON. Even though the man is a total FREAK and an asshole...(James will totally disagree with me here) I dig his music, and he puts on a good show. Nice Pyrotechnics, with some major loud explosions at the at the end that left the whole dome in a fog and my ears ringing. By now I am worn out but OZZY WAS NEXT! They start out with their huge cross on fire, with the words BLACK SABBATH Visible in the cross...a video plays with Ozzy talking on stage, talking about Black Sabbath's history. Ozzy throws buckets of water, and laughs in the mic. Sounds great and has lots of energy...after their opener (I forget...must have been the second hand pot smoke) I hear War Pigs...nicE. Then Iron Man....Tony Iommi is jamming...the video shows his fingers blurring up and down the frets, holy shit the man can ROCK! Ozzy breaks out the harmonica, and fucks up the first couple notes. "GOD it's been a long time..." He gets a drink and tries again. HE gets it right and the song goes on...tosses more water, grabbes some huge hoses onstage and soaks the front 1,000 people. (FUCK THOSE TROPICANA FIELD ASSHOLES..I wanted to be on the floor!) After a minute tune up and ozzy resting and throwing buckets of water, he strolls to the mic. "Here is the first song we wrote together, and it's great to play it for you tonight. Are you ready? (Crowd cheers) I said are you FUCKING READY?!?!?" CROWD FREAKS! The sound of the church bells tolling.....Black Sabbath..my all time Favorite! The guitars hit and the sound shakes my insides. WOW.....Ozzy starts in on perfect cue and Tony's guitar barely touches the notes behind him making the eerie sounds that made him famous. They end their set with an insane jam that turned the crowd into a frenzy.

I am still upset over the cost of the show, thank god I only paid $50 for 2 hotel rooms (I get killer employee discounts).

1 pint Cinnamon Ice cream
2 Apples
2 cups Water
2 cups sugar
1 stick cinnamon
Allspice
Caramel Sauce

Cut the apples in half (not from top to bottom) and scoop out the seeds. Bring the rest of the ingredients (except the ice cream and caramel, duh) to a low boil and poach the apples about 20 minutes, or until they are soft. Remove, pat dry, and place in a bowl. Top with the cinnamon ice cream and caramel sauce. THis serves 4 and rocks!

The HeMPereD Chef

Hempered Wings

4:20 pm 7/10

Ahhhhhh yes.....summertime. The time of year where Florida becomes one of the worst places to live....besides the freak lightning storms and hurricanes that pass by occasionally, now we have sharks to contend with also. Good thing I am too stoned to go in the water~

The summer also brings lots and lots of live music to Florida...as a matter of fact, I will be enjoying Ozzfest coming this Saturday in St. Petersburg. I am looking forward to catching Black Sabbath...a long time fav of mine but never seen before. Good thing summer brings all that rain so the cow pastures get nice and wet...that means lots of mushrooms growing (hmmmmmmmmmmmm :)

We welcome Manson back to Florida.......

Enough about my luck and your misfortune, let's move on to the yummies, shall we?

In honor of it being 4:20 pm, I decided to let loose another one of my sacred hemp recipes. THis one is a little different, but I think you will enjoy the overall effect. And just to give you a little information on where these recipes come from, they are originals created in MY kitchen, and not robbed from any other website. If my recipes happen to coincide with another site, it is either:

a) purely coincidental
b) Big Brother was watching me
c) James has been selling my recipes and making a profit off me
d) Some BASTARD has been swiping my shit (I have friends all over, so you had better watch your back and check under your car before you start it!)

I hope that has cleared up any questions you may have. If not EMAIL ME ! I have yet to recieve a single email from any fans yet...although James claims that I have many...(That means email me you stoner!)

1 stick of Butter
1/4 oz. shwag (Don't spend your money on good weed, there is no real difference in potency no matter what your friends say)
2 lbs. chicken wings or drummettes
6 Finely chopped Jalepeno peppers or 1 small jar chopped jalepenos
1/2 cup any hot sauce (Texas Pete is my fav, Tabasco if you are brave)
salt, pepper, oregano to taste

This is a very simple recipe, so please be liberal with it. In a saucepan, melt the butter and add the weed. I prefer to food process or at least break up the stuff really well. Simmer on LOW LOW heat for about 20 minutes. Be careful and stir often to not burn it. Strain the butter through cheesecloth (a coffee filter works very good also) and return to the heat. Add the chopped Jalepenos and saute for approx 5-7 minutes, until the Jalepenos are soft. Remove from the heat and and cool. Season and Bake the wings in a preheated 375 degree oven for 12-18 minutes, or until they are cooked through. Now here is where the fun begins! This recipe serves 4 - so divide the Jalepeno/Cannibutter mix into four seperate dipping bowls, and warm in a pan of simmering water until just melting. Put all the extra hot sauces you have hanging out, even if it is just left over Taco Bell packets from last nights 29 cent Taco munchie run. Get 3 of your buddies over, and pig out! Of course, if you want the full effect, you must eat all of the sauce put in front of you. Mix some extra sauce in if you want to...a few drops of sesame oil in the butter mix before cooling will help dull the weed taste. Of course, if you prefer just the sauce without the weed you can skip the 20 minute simmering process and just start with the jalepenos, but puree them instead of just chopping.

This recipe is memory of our pet chameleon, Clyde, who was Euthanized Sunday Afternoon after an unexpected intestinal problem. We will be planting an herb garden (heh~) in his memory.

The HeMpEred ChEf~

Eggs Bahamas with Coconut Hashbrowns

WAZZZZZZZZUP! This next creation has some significance - it is the first idea for a new menu I am creating. Apparently, things aren't going so well at my part-time job and they are wanting to change the name the whole menu and everything. I Just so happened to be 'in the right place at the right time'. The owner has my resume and I will be attending a meeting with him, his partner, and the Food and Beverage Manager at the hotel..to discuss MY ideas.~

THis, my friends, could be a nice opportunity to begin a name for myself in Cocoa Beach. Not only that, but my American Culinary Federation application arrived in the mail and soon I will be certified and will be able to attend all the cool competitions and begin taking over the culinary world.

In the meantime, here is what I made for breakfast this morning~

1 English Muffin - sliced and toasted
4 shrimp, peeled and deveined
1/4 cup Carribean Hollandaise (recipe to follow)
1 Potato, peeled and shredded
1 Tablespoon shredded coconut
Salt and Pepper

Carribean Hollandaise~

2 egg yolks
1/2 cup clarified butter
1 Tablespoon Pineapple Juice
1 Teaspoon Lemon Juice
1 Teaspoon orange zest
3 drops Tabasco sauce
Fresh Cracked Pepper to taste

In a food processor, pulse the egg yolks until smooth. In a saucepan on medium-low heat, warm the butter until beginning to simmer. With the processor running, pour half of the butter in a slow stream, pausing to allow the butter to incorporate and cook the eggs. Scrape the sides of the processor and slowly add the second half. Scrape the processor again and mix until smooth. The sauce should have the consistency of mayonnaise. Scoop out into a bowl, and fold in the juices, the tabasco, and the pepper, one at a time. The sauce should be thinned out with a few drops of water at a time until just thin enough to pour. Place to the side (do not refrigerate).

In a saute pan, with a little butter, cook the shrimp on medium heat until just done and place on top of the toasted english muffin. Top with poached eggs (or fried if you prefer) and then pour the Carribean Hollandaise on top.

In a small bowl, mix the coconut and potatoes. Scatter freely in the same saute pan as the shrimp and flip once when golden brown, about 3-5 minutes on each side. Serve this with a side of orange marmalade, and your girlfriend (sorry James~) will wake you up every morning to make this for her.

Wish me lucK~

The Hempered Chef

Dave's Lip-smacking French Onion Dip~

I apologize for my 'high'- atus (heh~) but between 2 jobs and school, I hardly have time to myself or my girlfriend. I did however have Most of Memorial Day weekend off, and I was able to spend some 'quality time' at home relaxing..~ It turns out that the 27th, Saturday, was the 50th anniversary of my grandfather being killer in Korea. I guess some of us give a little more than others....

ANyway, enough of the blibber-blabbing, here is my tasty recipe o' the daY:

2 Onions, diced medium
16 oz beef broth...canned is cool
32 oz sourcream
1/4 cup chopped garlic (or regular) chives
salt and cayenne pepper
WOODEN spoon

OK....first put away that Lipton onion soup mix and shut up. Lipton has nothing on me. Take your diced onion, and in a little olive oil, saute yer onions until they are well caramalized....I mean almost BURNT...but don't burn 'em. Keep the heat down low and keep stirring them. The browner the better. Now add half of the beef broth, and cook until almost all dissolved. Get all the crap off of the bottom of the pan (all the onion goo) with your spoon. Add the second half of the beef broth and a little salt and cayenne, maybe 1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon. Continue to cook down until almost all of the liquid is dissolved and remove from the heat.

Cool down to room temperature, then mix into the sour cream. Add salt and pepper to taste, then mix in the chives - reserving a few for garnish unless you are just a pig and you plan to pound this down yourself with a bag of Ruffles in front of the Comedy Channel.

I strongly recommend you refrigerate this overnight...it will be MUCH more yummer the next day...

~The HemPered CHef

Hot Basalmic Strawberries~

My pal, the Happy Hour Chef, recently posted the recipe for Bananas Foster. I have to say that of all the recipes I use, that one is one of my favorites. I recently made a dessert at the club I work at that is similar to Bananas Foster in that it is served over vanilla ice cream.

Strawberries are in season now and you can get tons of them for a really good price, especially if you live near Plant City, FL. This recipe sounds really bizarre, but trust me, you will be pouring extra stuff on your ice cream and getting paper towels instead of napkins to wipe the stuff from your face!

4 Pints Strawberries
1/4 cup basalmic vinegar
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1 Tablespoon Unsalted butter
Grand Marnier
Vanilla Ice creaM~

Take 2 of the pints of strawberries, wash and pull the leaves and any stems off of them. Slice into a bowl, and mash with a mash potato masher. Add half of the balsamic vinegar and half of the brown sugar, and mash into the mixture. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

When you are ready to serve this, have your ice cream in the bowls ready. I always buy the best vanilla ice cream I can get, French Vanilla is most acceptable. If you can, freeze the bowls with the ice cream in it! Wash and slice the other 2 pints of strawberries. In a saute pan, melt the butter and toss in the sliced strawberries. Saute for just a minute, to heat the berries through. Add the rest of the basalmic vinegar and brown sugar, and heat until just simmering. Add the mashed berry mixture, and continue to heat until beginning to thicken. Pour about a quarter to a half cup of the liquor ( liquor? I hardly know her! ~ Happy hour Chef) into the mix and IGNITE. Don't be stupid and put your face above it when you light it or pour the liquor over an open flame. Otherwise, I might see you on the Darwin Awards. Back off from yor stove, pour it in, then light it. After the flame has gone out, light it again to make sure the booze has burned out. Spoon the stuff over the ice cream and serve. If you want to add a really killer affect ~ push a hole into the top of the ice cream with the handle of a wooden spoon, fill with Grand Marnier, and turn the lights out.... light 'em up and serve 'em~

Feeds 1 to 6 depending on how much sauce you eat while it is cooking (heh)~

Email The Hempered Chef~

Peanut Butter 420 Cookies~

In the immortal words of Droopy Dog, "Hello all you happy people." Well, another 4/20 has gone and passed, and I have finally come down from the silky-blue haze of my favorite National Holiday. The results of that insane smoke-fest would be yet another fantastically delicious creation involving one of Mother Nature's greatest living plant, cannibus.

I guess you say this recipe was 'highly' experimental in nature, but I can assure you that the effects greatly outweigh any after-taste it may leave in your mouth. However, you may be surprised~

Ingredients
½ ounce finely ground herbs (stems & seeds too!)
¾ cup sugar
¾ cup light brown sugar
1 ½ sticks unsalted butter
¾ cup peanut butter
2 eggs
1 ¾ cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
½ cup chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. In a nonstick pan, bring the butter to a simmer, then reduce heat to a very slight simmer. Saute the herbs for 20 minutes, stirring and being careful not to burn the butter. Cool slightly, then strain through a cheesecloth, squeezing to get as much butter as possible out. Cool the 'cannibutter' to room temperature. In a mixer with a paddle attachment, (or hand mixer) combine the sugars, butter and peanut butter. Beat until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition. Sift together the flour, the baking soda and the salt and add to the dough. Dough should be stiff enough to shape with your hands. Make 1-inch balls and place on a lightly greased cookie sheet. Gently press thumb into the balls to flatten the cookies slightly and make an indentation in the center of the cookie. Press 3 or 4 chocolate chips into the indentation. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until lightly golden brown. Remove cookies from the oven and transfer to wire racks to cool. Makes about 30 cookies, give or take. I do not recommend eating more than 6-8....enjoY~

James note - if the Hempered Chef recommends limiting consumption to 6-8, I would advise the rest of you to cut it off at 2-3... Remember folks, he's a professional! ;)

Hot Spinach Artichoke Dip

This is an excellent dip for any party situation. It's very simple to make, about a half hour's time, and isn't too expensive, either. I will be whipping up a huge batch of this for a '4/20' party...a special day for us reefer smokers. There are always lots of local happenings around town on that day. For example, the head shops in Orlando are all having some sort of sale and or giveaway...usually a fantastically expensive glass bong. Even the radio stations get into it, like 101.1 WJRR. It's an okay station, they play a mix of Alternative and Classic Rock, but I prefer 96.5 WHTQ. They play good classic rock, not just the Eagles and Zepplin, but a nice variety.

OK, Enough about the radio stations, on to the dip. You will need:

1/2 cup minced onion
2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
2 cloves minced garlic
1 small can artichoke hearts (about 5 or 6), quartered
1 package fresh spinach epinards (leaves)
2 8 oz packages cream cheese
1/2 cup Sour cream
Some shredded mozzarella and parmesean

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Saute the onions in the olive oil on medium heat in a large saucepan until they are caramalized, and beginning to stick to the pan. Add the garlic, stir for just 30 seconds to render the flavor out of it. (Good ShiOT~) Throw in the Spinach Leaves and 2 Tablespoons of water, and cover the pan tightly and shake slightly for a minute. This will wilt the leaves and loosen the stuff on the bottom of the pan ~ that stuff is all good flavor. Uncover and stir, loosening everything from the pan and stirring it all together. Throw in the artichoke hearts, and mix well. Lower the heat and let simmer for a few minutes to cook off any excess liquid in the pan. Stir in the sour cream, then the cream cheese, and continue to simmer and stir, until the mixture is smooth and mixed well. Add salt and white pepper to taste. Pour the mix into an oven safe crock or casserole dish, and top with shredded mozzarella and sprinkle with parmesean cheese. Bake until bubbly and the parmasean cheese has browned slightly.

Serve with whatever crackers you want, in a pumpernickel loaf, in sourdough, or however you want to pound it down. It's some of the tastiest dip you will ever stuff down your piehole!

The restaurant I work at serves a really crappy version of this, and the chef is too lazy to take time on any dish. Oh well, at you least YOU have the real reacipe!

Chicken Quesadilla Omelets

Before I get into this recipe, I should tell a little about my morning part-time job. I work at this sports bar attached to a hotel, and I cook breakfast 5 mornings a week. It's very slow, and I get paid fairly decent to sit around and listen to Grateful Dead CD's, and cook a few orders a day. One of the other employees, a cook (not Chef) we will call Jose', works evenings and my days off. He is a cuban, Menudo lookin' mofo, who can spell, but doesn't quite get English all the way. Besides, he sucks ass as a cook.

Anyway, I come into work this morning and unlock stuff and go to the Head Chef's office to get a knife, and I see this note lying on the desk: "Chef - I need silver scratchy balls for the dishes. Jose"

I must say that 15 minutes later when I picked myself off of the floor from laughing, I sat and pondered on what sort of disease 'silver scratchy balls' were, until I realized he meant the stainless steel scrubbers used in the restaurant. I must say it is fun to have the Cubans here in Florida.

SO Today's recipe was devised yesterday morning for the daily breakfast special. Nearly every customer (four) ordered one! But I cooked myself one after I had my kitchen ready, 'cause I had a minor case of the munchies (heh)~. I suggest a very good nonstick pan for this omelet, it just makes things easier.

Ingredients:

Some cooked chicken - as much as you want to stuff in. Leftover KFC is perfect, just peel any breading off, and separate the meat from the bone and chop it up.
2 Tablespoons Butter, seperated
1/4 cup Minced onion
1/4 cup Minced green pepper
1/4 cup Chopped Tomato
salt, pepper to taste
3 eggs, beaten
Shredded Jalepeno Jack Cheese

On Medium Heat, Saute in 1 Tablespoon of butter the onion, pepper, and tomato with a little salt and pepper. When just starting to caramelize, add the chopped chicken and saute until hot. Place mix to the side in a little bowl, and wipe the pan with a paper towel to remove any stuff. Put the other Tablespoon of butter on, and place back on heat. WHen butter melts, add the eggs and cook, without stirring, until eggs are almost set. using a rubber spatula, flip the omelet and remove from heat. Put the chicken mix on the half opposite the handle of your pan, and top with the Jack Cheese. Using the rubber spatula, fold the other half over the goodies and slide onto your plate. YuM~

You can top it with a little salsa and/or sour cream for a little kick. Of course, it's a pretty big omelet, so make sure your tummy is grumblin'!

ENJOY! Email The Hempered Chef