This is the FJ.com "You Are Full Of Shit" Award page. If you are ever featured here, it's because you've made an attempt to pass yourself off as more important than you truly are. You're here because you need a slap in the mouth and a very public reminder that you are indeed, full of shit.

And the current recipient is ...

SHARON OSBOURNE

The sources - first read this: "Controversy Ruled The Day at Ozzfest.

Then read this: SHARON OSBOURNE Issues Statement: BRUCE DICKINSON Tried To Ruin OZZFEST For Everyone.

Just in case any of you missed it (or if you're Ozzy and can't remember that far back), here are the highlights from the first article:

But after the first song Dickinson lamented that someone was throwing eggs at the band. He was so incensed that he declared, "If I wouldn't get sued, I'd rip your (expletive) head off."

He eventually cooled down. As the band was hitting its stride on the metal classic "Run to the Hills", the public address system was cut off, making the song inaudible. The power came back after about 30 seconds, but went out again at the end of a blistering version of "Hallowed Be Thy Name".

Then strangely, as the band was taking its final bows, a voice came over the P.A. chanting "Ozzy" over and over again.

As IRON MAIDEN exited the stage it was followed by Ozzy Osbourne's wife (and the tour's founder), Sharon Osbourne. She said into the microphone that "IRON MAIDEN is a fantastic band, but singer Bruce Dickinson is an (expletive)." Then she left the stage.

Let's back up a bit... Bruce Dickinson, who is the frontman of one of the greatest heavy metal bands ever, has made some rather uncomplimentary remarks about Ozzy Osbourne, reality tv, and the fickle nature of American audiences in recent weeks. Most metal fans realize that Bruce has a tendency to put his foot in his mouth at times, and take his rants with a grain of salt. Hell, he makes a lot of valid points, even if the filter between his brain and his mouth doesn't always catch everything.

So Iron Maiden, playing their last show on the tour, is greeted by dozens of eggs, technical failures, and a canned tape subversively running over the PA during their final bows? Here's where I have to cover myself from legal exposure, and say emphatically that I can't prove that Sharon Osbourne had anything to do with any of these events.

But I wasn't born yesterday, and I can't prove that she had nothing to do with it either.

I can't say that Sharon is a saboteur. But I can say that she's a fucking cow. I can also say that she should spend more time worrying about her chubby little crotchfruit and keeping them out of rehab, and less time "managing" OZZFEST. Security at those shows is tighter than Sharon's last facelift - there's no way you could sneak in dozens of eggs, get to the stagefront area, throw them all, and not have the shit beaten out of you unless there's an inside connection. The power at arena concerts does NOT go off repeatedly, suddenly, and only for one act unless someone pulls the plug. A canned tape playing "Ozzy... Ozzy" does NOT start itself. And tour managers don't come onstage immediately afterwards and call the singer of the band whose set has just been sabotaged "a prick" in front of the audience.

And then comes the inevitable press release from Cruella herself:

"IRON MAIDEN were chosen for the Ozzfest tour because the Ozzfest committee felt they were a good band, plus the fact that they had not done shows in the U.S. for some time. From day one, Bruce Dickinson started berating Ozzy and belittling the Ozzfest audience. He stated he 'didn’t need a reality show to give him credibility'; 'We're not just some f*cking reunion band'; and continuously complained about the sound system, saying that when he comes back to America he'll have a better one. I understand he hasn't toured in the U.S.in these size venues in a while and no longer understands the political structure of things. Out of 200-plus bands over the last 10 years, he has been the only person who hasn't had the Ozzfest spirit. He thought he was at a battle of the bands, always making other comments about the other artists.

"Might I say, the rest of the band are gentlemen and have a great professional attitude. The crew are absolutely great. But how sad it was, after 10 years, that this little man tried to ruin it for everyone. The bands of Ozzfest don't even look at Ozzfest as touring, but as its heavy metal summer camp. Bruce is in fact a jealous prick and very envious. None of his tirades were directed at SABBATH, only Ozzy. Steve Harris [IRON MAIDEN's bassist] personally came to Ozzy in San Bernardino and apologized for Bruce's behavior this summer, stating that he and the rest of the band were 'embarrassed' by their own singer. It also offended me every night how he took out the English flag in America. There are American boys going to war alongside the English boys every day. How dare he forget the American troops on their home turf? He has had no respect for the American audience he has been playing for, stating in an interview, 'When you do the 'hits' tour here [in the U.S.], the audience is smug, and there's a sense of self-satisfaction, like, 'We got what we wanted…I'm looking at an audience that is self-satisfied and happy and fat, and getting what it wants and isn't prepared to get off its ass..'

"Before there was SAMSON, there was SABBATH!

"Ozzfest 2005 continues on with our summer of fun with the addition of VELVET REVOLVER. This is where the fun begins….."

What else needs to be said? Sharon Osbourne, you're full of shit.

1) Iron Maiden toured the US just over a year ago, and played the same size venues that booked OZZFEST. There were no technical difficulties, Maiden sounded great, and it sounds like "no longer understanding the policital structure" really means "no longer willing to kiss your wrinkled, aging ass".

2) Bruce is correct - Iron Maiden doesn't need a reality show to give them credibility. Plus, you singlehandedly managed to ruin the credibility of another rock star with your incessant whoring of your own reality show.

3) You were offended by the waving of the English flag? Newsflash - Iron Maiden is a proud English band. Another newsflash - England is fighting right beside the United States. Americans SHOULD be reverent towards the English flag - England's troops are dying too. And one last newsflash - YOU'RE FUCKING ENGLISH TOO. How DARE you try to spin this as a political issue and attempt to make Iron Maiden's longtime pride in their home appear as a slight towards America. We all know what it really is - petty jealousy on YOUR part. YOU can't handle the fact that Bruce Dickinson called you out for being the shit-talking, hypocritical, pop-culture whore that you've become, in the process taking with you the credibility of one of heavy metal's pioneers. YOU can't handle the fact that Iron Maiden doesn't need you, and won't kiss your ass.

And most of all, you can't handle the fact that we're on to you. The metal community has held you in contempt for ages - you've done NOTHING for music. Nothing that can't be done without you. Go away for a while and see. We won't mind. It is INEXCUSABLE to tamper with an artist's performance on stage - fans paid good money to see that show, and deserve to see the acts without hindrance. As the "manager", it's YOUR responsiblity to ensure that things like this do NOT affect the performance, and to appropriately deal with any elements that would. Great job. Stupid bitch.

So as long as you think that you're really anything more than Ozzy's fuck doll, I'll be here to remind you that - Sharon Osbourne, YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT!