Guest Chefs

Hempered Chef	Home Alone On Friday Chef	Happy Hour Chef
WOAH~ That's all I can say for my poor friend the Happy Hour Chef. I understand completely where he is at...for I have just recently been 'laid off' my job also. It was all really about the political B.S. that happens around private organizations like Elks club. Okay, so they do a lot of good for children's hospitals, it's just too bad that all of the members there are ASSHOLES. (No hard feelings, right?) Well, at least it frees me up to go cook in a real restaurant, instead of some shithole kitchen that prefers their soup from a can and their steaks from the freezer. Enough bitchin'. I simply just unwound after this turn of events with my latest creation, and my new CD's. I was able to locate the Pearl Jam shows from Palm Beach, back in August last year. I ordered both of them since I wasn't able to go to both shows. Nice sound and great live tunes. Too bad for James that he doesn't care for the Grateful Dead - they were pioneers in concert production in their time, and were the originators of the 'Wall of Sound', similar to today's large scale concert stacks. Anyway...enjoy this one~ Hempered Stir Fry 2 Tablespoons Sesame Oil 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut into thin slices 1 small can bamboo shoots 1 small can water chestnuts 1 cup broccoli, chopped 1/2 cup carrots, sliced 1/4 cup cashews, whole preferred 1/4 cup soy sauce 1 Tablespoon Peanut Butter 1 pinch crushed red pepper (or more heh~) 1/2 ounce hemp cleaned from the stems, with seeds, chopped fine (I use a food processor to bring to almost powdered state) This is a simple, 1 pot meal (heh).... Take a saute' pan large enough to hold all your ingredients and heat the sesame oil over medium heat until HOT. Add the hemp AND seeds. Saute for 5 minutes, then add the chicken. Turn the heat up to medium high, and cook until the chicken is completely cooked. Add the rest of the ingredients except the soy sauce, and saute until soft. Add the soy sauce and cook for just a minute. This recipe serves 4, so DON'T eat it all yourself....you may just wake up in November. The HeMpEred ChEf~ 13 hours of music. 10,000 Freaks. $4.00 Ice Tea. What is all this? Why, it was Ozzfest in Tampa, Florida. Before I give you the latest from the kitchen of the Hempered Chef, let me tell you about my latest excursion into the real of live music. I must begin with a little rant ~ first of all, this was by far THE MOST EXPENSIVE Concert I have ever attended. The tickets were $65.95 each when you add in TicketBastard's cut, which is pretty fucking outRAGEous! That is the cost for a general admission ticket, which was all that was available. The thing the I am the most pissed about however, is the fact that they changes Venues. Originally, the was going to take place in an open field in Zephyrhills. Awesome..,outdoor concerts are great, and they sound great. NOOOOOOOO....they moved it to Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, an indoor baseball stadium. There were 2 stages outside, and the main stage inside for the last 8 bands. But in order to get floor admission, you had to be one of the first 5,000 when they open the doors at 4:00. WHen we arrived at 1:00...they had opened the doors already! And all the floor spots were gone. WHat BullshiT! Now we paid to sit up in the crappy baseball seats. The inside bands were not supposed to start until after the outside bands were done. But they fucked that up too! We decided to skip Mudvayne (I thought they sucked) and cruise indoors to get some air conditioning and to relax before the first band inside started....and to get some decent seats. WHat do I hear coming from inside.... the first band...What the Hell? Zakk Wylde's Black Label Society. I thought they sucked, but he played a couple of kewl solos. Then followed Crazytown, Linkin Park, then Disturbed. They were okay, they played their hit songs okay, but I really was looking forward to disturbed. Lead singer comes out on stage and says, "You wanna see something REALLY FUCKED UP?!? The video turns on the huge Movie Screens there for us poor fuckers in the stands. The dude is hammering a nail into his nose!! I think to myself, 'Damn, that IS really fucked up. What a bastard.' They were awesome on stage UNTIL they broke out into one of the most despised songs I can think of.....'Shout', by those fags Tears for Fears. Oh my GOD...I almost 'fed the fish' (barfed) on the guy in fromt of me. I also dropped this band about 56 notches down on my kewl list. After that, Papa Roach. THEY SUCK ASS....We went to go get some ice cream for the group, and returned to ignore the band and wait for Slipknot. WOAH! SOme really intense death metal.....My girlfriend's brother was solo-moshing since you can't do that shit in the stands with cops everywhere. They were high energy and they played a kewl version of 'Wait and Bleed' that was like 10 minutes long....then MANSON. Even though the man is a total FREAK and an asshole...(James will totally disagree with me here) I dig his music, and he puts on a good show. Nice Pyrotechnics, with some major loud explosions at the at the end that left the whole dome in a fog and my ears ringing. By now I am worn out but OZZY WAS NEXT! They start out with their huge cross on fire, with the words BLACK SABBATH Visible in the cross...a video plays with Ozzy talking on stage, talking about Black Sabbath's history. Ozzy throws buckets of water, and laughs in the mic. Sounds great and has lots of energy...after their opener (I forget...must have been the second hand pot smoke) I hear War Pigs...nicE. Then Iron Man....Tony Iommi is jamming...the video shows his fingers blurring up and down the frets, holy shit the man can ROCK! Ozzy breaks out the harmonica, and fucks up the first couple notes. "GOD it's been a long time..." He gets a drink and tries again. HE gets it right and the song goes on...tosses more water, grabbes some huge hoses onstage and soaks the front 1,000 people. (FUCK THOSE TROPICANA FIELD ASSHOLES..I wanted to be on the floor!) After a minute tune up and ozzy resting and throwing buckets of water, he strolls to the mic. "Here is the first song we wrote together, and it's great to play it for you tonight. Are you ready? (Crowd cheers) I said are you FUCKING READY?!?!?" CROWD FREAKS! The sound of the church bells tolling.....Black Sabbath..my all time Favorite! The guitars hit and the sound shakes my insides. WOW.....Ozzy starts in on perfect cue and Tony's guitar barely touches the notes behind him making the eerie sounds that made him famous. They end their set with an insane jam that turned the crowd into a frenzy. I am still upset over the cost of the show, thank god I only paid $50 for 2 hotel rooms (I get killer employee discounts). Poaches Apples with Cinnamon Ice Cream 1 pint Cinnamon Ice cream 2 Apples 2 cups Water 2 cups sugar 1 stick cinnamon Allspice Caramel Sauce Cut the apples in half (not from top to bottom) and scoop out the seeds. Bring the rest of the ingredients (except the ice cream and caramel, duh) to a low boil and poach the apples about 20 minutes, or until they are soft. Remove, pat dry, and place in a bowl. Top with the cinnamon ice cream and caramel sauce. THis serves 4 and rocks! The HeMPereD Chef 4:20 pm 7/10 Ahhhhhh yes.....summertime. The time of year where Florida becomes one of the worst places to live....besides the freak lightning storms and hurricanes that pass by occasionally, now we have sharks to contend with also. Good thing I am too stoned to go in the water~ The summer also brings lots and lots of live music to Florida...as a matter of fact, I will be enjoying Ozzfest coming this Saturday in St. Petersburg. I am looking forward to catching Black Sabbath...a long time fav of mine but never seen before. Good thing summer brings all that rain so the cow pastures get nice and wet...that means lots of mushrooms growing (hmmmmmmmmmmmm :) We welcome Manson back to Florida....... Enough about my luck and your misfortune, let's move on to the yummies, shall we? In honor of it being 4:20 pm, I decided to let loose another one of my sacred hemp recipes. THis one is a little different, but I think you will enjoy the overall effect. And just to give you a little information on where these recipes come from, they are originals created in MY kitchen, and not robbed from any other website. If my recipes happen to coincide with another site, it is either: a) purely coincidental b) Big Brother was watching me c) James has been selling my recipes and making a profit off me d) Some BASTARD has been swiping my shit (I have friends all over, so you had better watch your back and check under your car before you start it!) I hope that has cleared up any questions you may have. If not EMAIL ME ! I have yet to recieve a single email from any fans yet...although James claims that I have many...(That means email me you stoner!) Hempered Wings 1 stick of Butter 1/4 oz. shwag (Don't spend your money on good weed, there is no real difference in potency no matter what your friends say) 2 lbs. chicken wings or drummettes 6 Finely chopped Jalepeno peppers or 1 small jar chopped jalepenos 1/2 cup any hot sauce (Texas Pete is my fav, Tabasco if you are brave) salt, pepper, oregano to taste This is a very simple recipe, so please be liberal with it. In a saucepan, melt the butter and add the weed. I prefer to food process or at least break up the stuff really well. Simmer on LOW LOW heat for about 20 minutes. Be careful and stir often to not burn it. Strain the butter through cheesecloth (a coffee filter works very good also) and return to the heat. Add the chopped Jalepenos and saute for approx 5-7 minutes, until the Jalepenos are soft. Remove from the heat and and cool. Season and Bake the wings in a preheated 375 degree oven for 12-18 minutes, or until they are cooked through. Now here is where the fun begins! This recipe serves 4 - so divide the Jalepeno/Cannibutter mix into four seperate dipping bowls, and warm in a pan of simmering water until just melting. Put all the extra hot sauces you have hanging out, even if it is just left over Taco Bell packets from last nights 29 cent Taco munchie run. Get 3 of your buddies over, and pig out! Of course, if you want the full effect, you must eat all of the sauce put in front of you. Mix some extra sauce in if you want to...a few drops of sesame oil in the butter mix before cooling will help dull the weed taste. Of course, if you prefer just the sauce without the weed you can skip the 20 minute simmering process and just start with the jalepenos, but puree them instead of just chopping. This recipe is memory of our pet chameleon, Clyde, who was Euthanized Sunday Afternoon after an unexpected intestinal problem. We will be planting an herb garden (heh~) in his memory. The HeMpEred ChEf~ WAZZZZZZZZUP! This next creation has some significance - it is the first idea for a new menu I am creating. Apparently, things aren't going so well at my part-time job and they are wanting to change the name the whole menu and everything. I Just so happened to be 'in the right place at the right time'. The owner has my resume and I will be attending a meeting with him, his partner, and the Food and Beverage Manager at the hotel..to discuss MY ideas.~ THis, my friends, could be a nice opportunity to begin a name for myself in Cocoa Beach. Not only that, but my American Culinary Federation application arrived in the mail and soon I will be certified and will be able to attend all the cool competitions and begin taking over the culinary world. In the meantime, here is what I made for breakfast this morning~ Eggs Bahamas with Coconut Hashbrowns 1 English Muffin - sliced and toasted 4 shrimp, peeled and deveined 1/4 cup Carribean Hollandaise (recipe to follow) 1 Potato, peeled and shredded 1 Tablespoon shredded coconut Salt and Pepper Carribean Hollandaise~ 2 egg yolks 1/2 cup clarified butter 1 Tablespoon Pineapple Juice 1 Teaspoon Lemon Juice 1 Teaspoon orange zest 3 drops Tabasco sauce Fresh Cracked Pepper to taste In a food processor, pulse the egg yolks until smooth. In a saucepan on medium-low heat, warm the butter until beginning to simmer. With the processor running, pour half of the butter in a slow stream, pausing to allow the butter to incorporate and cook the eggs. Scrape the sides of the processor and slowly add the second half. Scrape the processor again and mix until smooth. The sauce should have the consistency of mayonnaise. Scoop out into a bowl, and fold in the juices, the tabasco, and the pepper, one at a time. The sauce should be thinned out with a few drops of water at a time until just thin enough to pour. Place to the side (do not refrigerate). In a saute pan, with a little butter, cook the shrimp on medium heat until just done and place on top of the toasted english muffin. Top with poached eggs (or fried if you prefer) and then pour the Carribean Hollandaise on top. In a small bowl, mix the coconut and potatoes. Scatter freely in the same saute pan as the shrimp and flip once when golden brown, about 3-5 minutes on each side. Serve this with a side of orange marmalade, and your girlfriend (sorry James~) will wake you up every morning to make this for her. Wish me lucK~ The Hempered Chef I apologize for my 'high'- atus (heh~) but between 2 jobs and school, I hardly have time to myself or my girlfriend. I did however have Most of Memorial Day weekend off, and I was able to spend some 'quality time' at home relaxing..~ It turns out that the 27th, Saturday, was the 50th anniversary of my grandfather being killer in Korea. I guess some of us give a little more than others.... ANyway, enough of the blibber-blabbing, here is my tasty recipe o' the daY: Dave's Lip-smacking French Onion Dip~ 2 Onions, diced medium 16 oz beef broth...canned is cool 32 oz sourcream 1/4 cup chopped garlic (or regular) chives salt and cayenne pepper WOODEN spoon OK....first put away that Lipton onion soup mix and shut up. Lipton has nothing on me. Take your diced onion, and in a little olive oil, saute yer onions until they are well caramalized....I mean almost BURNT...but don't burn 'em. Keep the heat down low and keep stirring them. The browner the better. Now add half of the beef broth, and cook until almost all dissolved. Get all the crap off of the bottom of the pan (all the onion goo) with your spoon. Add the second half of the beef broth and a little salt and cayenne, maybe 1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon. Continue to cook down until almost all of the liquid is dissolved and remove from the heat. Cool down to room temperature, then mix into the sour cream. Add salt and pepper to taste, then mix in the chives - reserving a few for garnish unless you are just a pig and you plan to pound this down yourself with a bag of Ruffles in front of the Comedy Channel. I strongly recommend you refrigerate this overnight...it will be MUCH more yummer the next day... ~The HemPered CHef My pal, the Happy Hour Chef, recently posted the recipe for Bananas Foster. I have to say that of all the recipes I use, that one is one of my favorites. I recently made a dessert at the club I work at that is similar to Bananas Foster in that it is served over vanilla ice cream. Strawberries are in season now and you can get tons of them for a really good price, especially if you live near Plant City, FL. This recipe sounds really bizarre, but trust me, you will be pouring extra stuff on your ice cream and getting paper towels instead of napkins to wipe the stuff from your face! Hot Basalmic Strawberries~ 4 Pints Strawberries 1/4 cup basalmic vinegar 1/4 cup light brown sugar 1 Tablespoon Unsalted butter Grand Marnier Vanilla Ice creaM~ Take 2 of the pints of strawberries, wash and pull the leaves and any stems off of them. Slice into a bowl, and mash with a mash potato masher. Add half of the balsamic vinegar and half of the brown sugar, and mash into the mixture. Cover and refrigerate overnight. When you are ready to serve this, have your ice cream in the bowls ready. I always buy the best vanilla ice cream I can get, French Vanilla is most acceptable. If you can, freeze the bowls with the ice cream in it! Wash and slice the other 2 pints of strawberries. In a saute pan, melt the butter and toss in the sliced strawberries. Saute for just a minute, to heat the berries through. Add the rest of the basalmic vinegar and brown sugar, and heat until just simmering. Add the mashed berry mixture, and continue to heat until beginning to thicken. Pour about a quarter to a half cup of the liquor ( liquor? I hardly know her! ~ Happy hour Chef) into the mix and IGNITE. Don't be stupid and put your face above it when you light it or pour the liquor over an open flame. Otherwise, I might see you on the Darwin Awards. Back off from yor stove, pour it in, then light it. After the flame has gone out, light it again to make sure the booze has burned out. Spoon the stuff over the ice cream and serve. If you want to add a really killer affect ~ push a hole into the top of the ice cream with the handle of a wooden spoon, fill with Grand Marnier, and turn the lights out.... light 'em up and serve 'em~ Feeds 1 to 6 depending on how much sauce you eat while it is cooking (heh)~ Email The Hempered Chef~ Peanut Butter 420 Cookies~ In the immortal words of Droopy Dog, "Hello all you happy people." Well, another 4/20 has gone and passed, and I have finally come down from the silky-blue haze of my favorite National Holiday. The results of that insane smoke-fest would be yet another fantastically delicious creation involving one of Mother Nature's greatest living plant, cannibus. I guess you say this recipe was 'highly' experimental in nature, but I can assure you that the effects greatly outweigh any after-taste it may leave in your mouth. However, you may be surprised~ Ingredients � ounce finely ground herbs (stems & seeds too!) � cup sugar � cup light brown sugar 1 � sticks unsalted butter � cup peanut butter 2 eggs 1 � cups flour 2 teaspoons baking soda � teaspoon salt � cup chocolate chips Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. In a nonstick pan, bring the butter to a simmer, then reduce heat to a very slight simmer. Saute the herbs for 20 minutes, stirring and being careful not to burn the butter. Cool slightly, then strain through a cheesecloth, squeezing to get as much butter as possible out. Cool the 'cannibutter' to room temperature. In a mixer with a paddle attachment, (or hand mixer) combine the sugars, butter and peanut butter. Beat until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition. Sift together the flour, the baking soda and the salt and add to the dough. Dough should be stiff enough to shape with your hands. Make 1-inch balls and place on a lightly greased cookie sheet. Gently press thumb into the balls to flatten the cookies slightly and make an indentation in the center of the cookie. Press 3 or 4 chocolate chips into the indentation. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until lightly golden brown. Remove cookies from the oven and transfer to wire racks to cool. Makes about 30 cookies, give or take. I do not recommend eating more than 6-8....enjoY~ James note - if the Hempered Chef recommends limiting consumption to 6-8, I would advise the rest of you to cut it off at 2-3... Remember folks, he's a professional! ;) Hot Spinach Artichoke Dip This is an excellent dip for any party situation. It's very simple to make, about a half hour's time, and isn't too expensive, either. I will be whipping up a huge batch of this for a '4/20' party...a special day for us reefer smokers. There are always lots of local happenings around town on that day. For example, the head shops in Orlando are all having some sort of sale and or giveaway...usually a fantastically expensive glass bong. Even the radio stations get into it, like 101.1 WJRR. It's an okay station, they play a mix of Alternative and Classic Rock, but I prefer 96.5 WHTQ. They play good classic rock, not just the Eagles and Zepplin, but a nice variety. OK, Enough about the radio stations, on to the dip. You will need: 1/2 cup minced onion 2 Tablespoons Olive Oil 2 cloves minced garlic 1 small can artichoke hearts (about 5 or 6), quartered 1 package fresh spinach epinards (leaves) 2 8 oz packages cream cheese 1/2 cup Sour cream Some shredded mozzarella and parmesean Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Saute the onions in the olive oil on medium heat in a large saucepan until they are caramalized, and beginning to stick to the pan. Add the garlic, stir for just 30 seconds to render the flavor out of it. (Good ShiOT~) Throw in the Spinach Leaves and 2 Tablespoons of water, and cover the pan tightly and shake slightly for a minute. This will wilt the leaves and loosen the stuff on the bottom of the pan ~ that stuff is all good flavor. Uncover and stir, loosening everything from the pan and stirring it all together. Throw in the artichoke hearts, and mix well. Lower the heat and let simmer for a few minutes to cook off any excess liquid in the pan. Stir in the sour cream, then the cream cheese, and continue to simmer and stir, until the mixture is smooth and mixed well. Add salt and white pepper to taste. Pour the mix into an oven safe crock or casserole dish, and top with shredded mozzarella and sprinkle with parmesean cheese. Bake until bubbly and the parmasean cheese has browned slightly. Serve with whatever crackers you want, in a pumpernickel loaf, in sourdough, or however you want to pound it down. It's some of the tastiest dip you will ever stuff down your piehole! The restaurant I work at serves a really crappy version of this, and the chef is too lazy to take time on any dish. Oh well, at you least YOU have the real reacipe! Chicken Quesadilla Omelets Before I get into this recipe, I should tell a little about my morning part-time job. I work at this sports bar attached to a hotel, and I cook breakfast 5 mornings a week. It's very slow, and I get paid fairly decent to sit around and listen to Grateful Dead CD's, and cook a few orders a day. One of the other employees, a cook (not Chef) we will call Jose', works evenings and my days off. He is a cuban, Menudo lookin' mofo, who can spell, but doesn't quite get English all the way. Besides, he sucks ass as a cook. Anyway, I come into work this morning and unlock stuff and go to the Head Chef's office to get a knife, and I see this note lying on the desk: "Chef - I need silver scratchy balls for the dishes. Jose" I must say that 15 minutes later when I picked myself off of the floor from laughing, I sat and pondered on what sort of disease 'silver scratchy balls' were, until I realized he meant the stainless steel scrubbers used in the restaurant. I must say it is fun to have the Cubans here in Florida. SO Today's recipe was devised yesterday morning for the daily breakfast special. Nearly every customer (four) ordered one! But I cooked myself one after I had my kitchen ready, 'cause I had a minor case of the munchies (heh)~. I suggest a very good nonstick pan for this omelet, it just makes things easier. Ingredients: Some cooked chicken - as much as you want to stuff in. Leftover KFC is perfect, just peel any breading off, and separate the meat from the bone and chop it up. 2 Tablespoons Butter, seperated 1/4 cup Minced onion 1/4 cup Minced green pepper 1/4 cup Chopped Tomato salt, pepper to taste 3 eggs, beaten Shredded Jalepeno Jack Cheese On Medium Heat, Saute in 1 Tablespoon of butter the onion, pepper, and tomato with a little salt and pepper. When just starting to caramelize, add the chopped chicken and saute until hot. Place mix to the side in a little bowl, and wipe the pan with a paper towel to remove any stuff. Put the other Tablespoon of butter on, and place back on heat. WHen butter melts, add the eggs and cook, without stirring, until eggs are almost set. using a rubber spatula, flip the omelet and remove from heat. Put the chicken mix on the half opposite the handle of your pan, and top with the Jack Cheese. Using the rubber spatula, fold the other half over the goodies and slide onto your plate. YuM~ You can top it with a little salsa and/or sour cream for a little kick. Of course, it's a pretty big omelet, so make sure your tummy is grumblin'! ENJOY! Email The Hempered Chef	Heat Beatin' Drink! Ingredients: SoBe Diet Green Tea (20 oz bottle) Ice Procedure: Take a glass down from your kitchen cupboard. Remember that you're using a 20 oz bottle of tea, so try to use at least a 32 oz collector's cup from Taco Bell. Fill the cup with ice. Twist open the top of the bottle of green tea and remove the cap. Put the cup of ice underneath the bottle. Now turn the bottle upside-down, and empty the contents into the glass, over the ice. ENJOY! Late night snack Ingredients: Popcorn M & M's Procedure: Arrange the popcorn in a bowl. Add a handful or two of M & M's. For a more effective presentation, use a white ceramic bowl, many different colors of M & M's, and a brightly colored paper towel to wipe the excess butter from your chin. ENJOY! Easter Dinner Ingredients: One box pre-cooked chicken nuggets One bottle of Stubbs' BBQ sauce Procedure: Arrange chicken nuggets on a microwave-safe plate. Heat on "high" for approximately 3 minutes, longer if frozen. While the chicken is heating, pour 2 or 3 seconds' worth of the BBQ sauce into a small container. When the microwave dings, take out the chicken. Put the small container onto the plate containing the chicken. Before taking a bite of the chicken, try dipping it into the sauce. ENJOY! Breakfast of Champions Ingredients: 1/2 cup milk 1 cup Quaker Toasted Oatmeal (Honey Nut Crunch) Procedure: Arrange 1 cup Quaker Toasted Oatmeal in a bowl. Pour 1/2 cup milk over the mixture. ENJOY! Microwave Burritos Open wrapper. Put frozen burrito on plate. Microwave on high for 90 seconds. ENJOY! Email The Home Alone on Friday Chef.	Well I've been having about as much fun as one man can possibly have. I get to sit at home from 9-5 and see if the phone rings. I've sent my resume' to about 25-30 different companies, and have heard from enough to count on 1 hand with fingers left over. And I've been unemployed for over a week. Sitting at home also means, outside of parentals that visit, I haven't dealt with anyone over the age of 7 in that same week (I go to have my daughters over for visitation. Don't get me wrong I love them, but I do need an adult conversation every once in a while). And to top it off I crashed and burned yet again. It seems the only women I can get interested in me have been passed around more than a joint at a Dead concert. I get the same thing James does,"you're so nice I don't want to ruin our friendship." And people wonder why I drink. My life could easily take up at least a week's worth of Springer shows. Now that I'm done ranting I'll give you my new recipe. I hope you still have the last one you'll need it. Roasted Garlic Wing Sauce Ingredients: 2 cups Tabasco sauce 1 cup liquid margerine 1/2 cup roasted garlic puree 1/4 cup diced jalapenos Procedures: Easy enough, mix all the ingredients together. To make liquid margerine, if you can't find it at the store, take and 1 1/2 cups solid margerine and melt it slightly in the microwave. You don't want it to be thin and completely melted. ENJOY! Ah, July, that lovliest of months. James has nothing on my past month. It started on a high note, I closed on my 1st home. I then took vacation. Then things went down hill. Between furniture (I owned nothing thanks to a fun split from my ex 4 years ago) and just a little bit of paint and supplies I spent over a grand. Add that to the $7,500 it took just to get into my house ($5,900 of that thanks to a bad debt from aforementioned ex). Then 10 days after the closing I come to find out my roof leaks. More dough out the window. And then, just to cap it all off, I get fired. Which of course leaves me temporarily unemployed. They wanted to cut management labor, and I made $11,600 more than than average pay for my position. Yet, out of the blue mind you, I supposedly have poor job performance, which has never been brought up before. Sounds like bullshit to me, but I wanted out of the place anyway. I'm not political by nature, and there was just to much ass kissing going on there for my liking. But anyway, enough of my rant. My next recipe is a nice one that can be used for a lot of things. Save it or remember it, because you will need it for the next recipe I give you. Roasted Garlic Puree Ingredients: 1 1/4# peeled garlic cloves vegetable oil 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese salt and pepper Procedures: Place the garlic cloves in a cake pan. Pour enough vegetable oil over the garlic to cover it all. Cover with foil and roast in 350 degree oven for 1 1/2 hours. Remove from oven and let cool down slightly. Drain and reserve the oil. Place the roasted garlic and parmesan cheese into a food processor and puree. Slowly pour the reserved oil into the mixture while still leaving on the food processor. You will not need all of the oil. You want the mixture to become the consistency of peanut butter. Salt and pepper to taste. Save the remaining oil. It goes great with balsamic vinegar on salads. ENJOY! Hello again all you fellow alcoholics. I'm sorry it's been so long, but I had some work to do with the house I just bought. I just want to give Hempered Chef some big kudos. But I also want to set some things straight: 1st) There truly aren't any "original" recipes any more. 2nd) Everything that is considered "original" is, more or less, a variation of an existing recipe. 3rd) This is caused by creation. A good chef knows what tastes go well together and creates "new" dishes by making these variations With that said here comes my most recent recipe to this site. It is not an "original", because I stole the idea from T.G.I. Fridays Jack Daniel's Sauce. I just made a variation of it for my own personal liking and use. It works great as a barbecue sauce or as a steak sauce or dipping sauce for chicken and shrimp. Myer's Rum Sauce Ingredients: 2 TBS. vegetable oil 1 cup finely diced shallots 1/2 bottle of Myer's Dark Rum (or any dark rum if you don't want to spend that much) 2 cups molasses 1 cup brown sugar 4 cups water 2 TBS. beef soup base Arrow root Procedures: In a sauce pot heat the vegetable oil over medium heat, but do not burn it. Add the shallots and caramelize them. (Cook until they start to turn a brownish color, but not burnt). Add the rum. Bring to a boil and reduce by 1/2. Add the molasses, brown sugar, water and soup base. Again bring to a boil and reduce by 1/2. Slowly whisk in the arrow root until the mixture is the consistency of a barbecue sauce. Remove from heat and let cool. ENJOY! Hello to all searchers of "recipes to get you absolutely shit-faced"(let's see how many more hits that gives this site). For you regulars, sorry it's been so long. Buying a house is like anal sex, a pain in the ass( should provide more hits). I though it wouldn't be any harder than buying a car. Pick the one you want, get approved for the loan and move right in. NOT! Needless to say this should be one of the very few times in my life I go through this process. You need paperwork to substantiate your paperwork. Fun, oh, fun. But anyway, I have a new recipe for you. It's a nice sauce that works great for roasting, grilling or rotisserie of any type of meat. Honey Balsamic Burgundy Glaze ingredients: 3 cups Burgundy wine 2 cups balsamic vinegar 1 cup honey 1/2 cup corn starch procedure: Mix the burgundy wine, balsamic vinegar and honey together. Reserve 2 cups of the mixture to the side. In a sauce pot bring the rest of the mixture to a boil. Combine the corn starch with the reserved mixture to make what I like to call a "slurry". ( I was know as the Corn Starch King at my last job because I hated to go through the process of making a proper rue.) Add the "slurry" to the boiling mixture. Bring to a boil again. Reduce heat when boiling. Simmer until the glaze is the consistency of a barbeque sauce. ENJOY! Sorry it's been so long folks. I've been house hunting, and I killed, I mean found, one. I'm finally going to be a home owner at the age of 30. Yes, I said 30. No snickering, Damn it! So celebrate with me and have a drink. Pour yourself one of these, it's what I'm having. Everglades Special 1oz. light rum 1oz. white creme de cacao 1oz. light cream 2 tsp. Kahlua shake and serve over ice I promise to have a food recipe sometime in the near future(maybe). IT"S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN!!! Just like any where else in this great country, South Florida fishing goes into over drive from May through September. Thus you will not hear from me as often as before. Also it's vacation time, and God knows where I'll cast my line during this year's. Last year was out there in California on the American River for small steelhead trout. This year it's looking like West Virginia and the Potomac for either trout or smallmouth bass. For those of you who enjoy fishing I raise my glass and propose a toast. Here's to many tight lines and very few stories of that ones that got away, because, hey, they didn't! For the rest of you here's a great summer dish for either picnics or watching baseball games on TV. Beer Cheese Dip ingredients: 2 TBSP butter 1 ea. julienned spanish onion 2ea. 12 oz beers 3 cups water 1 TBSP chicken soup base 2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese 1 cup heavy whipping cream Arrow root procedures: In a sauce pot, saute' the julienned onion in the butter. Add the beer and reduce by 1/2. Add the water and chicken soup base and bring to a boil. Add the cheddar cheese, stirring frequently until it is melted. Reduce heat and add heavy cream. With a wire whisk stir the mixture and slowly add Arrow root until the mixture is almost as thick as a dip. Simmer for approximately 5 minutes to allow the Arrow root to thicken the dip even further. The dip is best served hot, but can be enjoyed just as well cold. ENJOY! Seeing as the Hempered Chef and I have started a fruit trend I might as well keep it up. Personally I'm usually not known as fruity just plain nuts. Once again there is more than one recipe to make this dish. Cream Cheese Stuffed Pork Chops with Port Wine Apple Sauce Cream Cheese Stuffing ingredients: 8 oz. cream cheese 2 TBSP chopped basil 2 TBSP chopped parsley 1/4 tsp salt 1/4 tsp pepper 1/2 cup plain bread crumbs procedures: Mix all ingriedents together. Port Wine Apple Sauce ingredients: 3 ea. 8oz. cans of apples in syrup 1 cup brown sugar 1 TBSP cinnamon 1 bottle of Port wine procedures: In a sauce pot combine 1/2 the bottle of port wine, apples, brown sugar and cinnamon. Bring to and keep at a boil. Stir frequently to avoid burning on the bottom. You want to reduce the wine completely away. The apples need to turn to mush so that they can be mashed. If you need to keep adding wine until the apples are to that point. When they are remove from the heat and mash with a potato masher. Transfere to a bowl and cool in a refridgerator. The final dish requires thick cut pork chops( about 1" is a good size). Butterfly the pork chops( cut a slice into them but not all the way through. When you do this and open them up it looks like a butterfly.) Stuff each pork chop with the cream cheese stuffing. Cook the pork chops any way you desire. I prefer pan searing them. When done plate up the pork chops and top with the apple sauce. Chef's note: A big misconception is that with pork being the other white meat it needs to be cooked until it is opaque all the way through. This is not true. Unlike chicken, pork can not make you sick if it is cooked to beef like temperatures. The only thing is pork has to be cooked to at least medium. Medium rare or rare can make you sick. Medium is the ideal temperature for pork. to get a medium pork product cook it until it no longer looks "raw" but is not completey opaque. ENJOY! Not to sound ungrateful to the weather gods (south Florida is in a major drought situation with massive water restrictions right now), but why does it have to rain on my only day off? I'm a beach bum for christ's sake. I need sun or I'll shrivel up and die (just like one of Hempered Chef's canabus plants would). So what did I do you ask? Well like any beach bum does when it rains, had pizza and drinks. The recipe for both the pizza and drink are the following ones. You'll need the New Orleans style barbecue sauce for the pizza Cajun Pizza ingredients: 1 ea. pizza crust or dough (any kind will do) 1/2 cup New Orleans Style Barbecue Sauce 1 1/2 cups shredded Pepper Jack cheese 1 ea. julienned green pepper 1 ea. julienned spanish onion 1/4 lb. sliced mushrooms 1 lb. sliced andouille sausage procedures: Simple top the pizza crust/dough with the ingredients( sauce, cheese then toppings), and bake in 350 degree oven until thoroughly cooked. Rum Runner 1 1/2 oz. light rum 1 1/2 oz. coconut rum 1 1/2 oz. dark rum 1 1/2 oz. banana liquer 1 1/2 oz. blackberry brandy 2 oz. lime juice 2 1/2 oz orange juice 2 1/2 oz. pineapple juice dash of grenadine Mix and serve on the rocks. Or for a frozen drink combine with ice in a blender. Bananas Foster I just talked to an old girlfriend who I haven't talked to or see in about 9 years. We had a good relationship. Things just happened, and we went our seperate ways. It was great to hear from her again, and it left me with a sort of happy/sweet feeling. So this next dish is dedicated to her and that feeling. It's a 2 recipe dish. You have to make them in the order that they're listed here. 1. Caramel sauce ingredients: 3 cups granulated sugar 3 cups water 1 quart heavy whipping cream procedures: In a small pot combine sugar and water. Bring to a boil. Keep at a boil. When the mixture starts to change color watch it closely. It will burn if not. Once it goes just a hair darker then caramel colored slowly wisk in the heavy cream. Remove from stove, and let cool at room temperature. Foster Sauce: ingredients: 1 TBSP butter 4 ea. sliced bananas 1 cup dark rum 3 cups caramel sauce 1 cup chopped roasted walnuts procedures: In a pan saute' the sliced bananas in the butter until soft(not mushy). Add the rum and flambe'. Add the caramel and walnuts. remove from heat. This dish consists of the foster sauce served over vanilla icecream. As soon as you remove the sauce from the stove poor it over the icecream and serve. You have to flambe' the rum in this one(sorry but the alcohol does change the flavor this time. Just finish the bottle to get buzzed.) To do so I suggest a long grill lighter if you don't have a gas stove. ENJOY! Tequila Lime Chicken Ingredients: 1 ea. whole chicken (remove the entrail sack, that's the neck, gizzard and liver) 1/2 bottle Tequila 3 cups lime juice 1 bunch cilantro 1/2 cup fine diced habanero peppers 1 cup granulated garlic 1/4 cup kosher salt 1/4 cup ground black pepper 1 cup brown sugar 1 cup molasses Procedures: This recipe is very simple. Mix all of the ingredients together in a bowl large enough to marinate the chicken in. Marinate the chicken for 24 hours. turning every 4-6 hours if not completely covered by the marinade. After 24 hours remove the chicken and place to the side. In a sauce pot bring the liquid to a boil and reduce to the thickness of a syrup. This will make a glaze for the chicken. Grill the chicken for approximately 30 mins. Brushing periodically with the glaze. Notes: I have to credit James with the idea for this one. He has mentioned lime marinated foods he's done and it intrigued me. So I put a spin on it. The grilling time on your chicken will vary as to weight and amount of time it has been marinated. The alcohol in the tequila and citric acid in the lime juice start the cooking process. Basically it pickles the chicken at first. Always make sure any poultry is white all the way through before eating. ENJOY! A quick little piece of personal history: I worked for an Italian restaurant for 5 years before joining with my current gig. In that time I slaved 80 hours a week as an overglorified Line cook when I should have been managing as an Executive chef. When I left about 1/2 of the menu were ideas I either created or helped to create. I come to find out that almost a year later they came out with their "new" menu. Having a new chef they should have new dishes created by him, right? NOT! Of the 4 new menu items(and that was all for the new stuff) 3 were dishes I ran on a regular basis as specials. They couldn't get their own ideas. They just went and used mine. Needless to say I'm a little pissed. So as slight pay back I give you the recipe to their new "signature" dish, and a hell of a good one on my part( if I might say so). Veal Rollatine in Marsala Sauce Ingredients: 1# Veal hip- have your butcher cut this into 4ea. 4oz pieces for you 1/2# sliced mozzarella or asiago cheese 1/4# whole basil leaves flour 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil 2 cups sliced portabello mushrooms 2 cups Marsala wine 1 TBSP beef soup base 2 cups water salt and pepper to taste Procedures: Light pound the veal with a meat mallet to 1/4" thickness. Lay the veal flat on you cutting board and layer with the cheese. Then layer with the basil leaves. Roll them up with the veal being the outer surface. Dredge the rollatines in the flour, coating them lightly. Preheat a saute' pan on medium heat. Add the olive oil and the rollatines. Sear until the surface is a nice golden brown. Add the portabellos and saute' 2 minutes. Add the Marsala wine and reduce by 1/2. Add the beef soup base and water. Reduce untill the sauce is almost to the consistency of a gravy, but not quite that thick. Season with the salt and pepper. ENJOY! New Orleans Style Barbacue Sauce ingredients: 1ea. 12 oz. beer 3/4 cup white wine Chef Paul Prodhomme's Blackened Redfish Magic to taste 2 TBSP garlic powder 3 TBSP butter 1/4 cup flour procedures: In a sauce pot combine the beer, wine, Blackening spices and garlic powder. Put on full heat, bring to a boil and reduce by half. Mix the butter and flour together in a bowl. When the liquid has reduced by half add the butter/ flour mixture. Reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes. For those of you who have been reading these recipes I realized that I am use some cooking terms that I then don't explain. Like today's, reduce. To reduce a liquid means to do exactly that boil it so that you loss volume by evaporation. A reduction helps to not only help pull extra flavor out of the liquid but also to thicken anyhting you're making. This happens because the natural sugars in the liquid can't evaporate. As for this recipe( as with most of mine) it is very simple. I just want to clarify a few things though: 1. I didn't list any brand or type of beer or wine. It doesn't matter what you use. When combined with the other ingredients the flavor is slightly noticable. But let's face it you're going to have to finish the other 11 beers and the rest of the bottle of wine. So don't use cheap stuff. Unless that's what you like to drink. 2. I list Chef Paul Prodhomme's Blackened Redfish Magic in the ingredients. That's my own choice. Use any kind of creole seasoning you like. 3. The amount of flour used can vary. If you want a thicker sauce use more flour. A thinner sauce use less. If you need to add more to thicken it up after you've already add the mixture do so will stirring with a wire whip to avoid flour balls from developing. Feel free to experiment with any recipe you find. Experimentation is what seperates a Chef from a cook. Personal note: For those of you in California, I envy you. You have great wine and my favorite beer, Anchor Steam, readily available for this recipe. If you like my recipe feel free to send some as a little compensation. Also my friend, The Hempered Chef, missed one other fun group of people that you get to work with here in Florida, Hatians. They speak creole as their language. One that 12 years later I still only know a few select words in(which I will not repeat). Grilled Snapper w/ Warm Jamaican Fruit Salsa Ingredients: 2 ea. Snapper fillets 1 ea. Orange 1ea. Mango 1/2 ea Pineapple 1 ea. Guava 3 ea. Kiwi 1/4 cup Captain Morgan Spiced Rum 1/2 cup Coconut milk or Coco Lopez Salt & Pepper to taste Procedures: Clean all of your fruit(peel,seed, etc.), Dice into 1/4-3/8 inch pieces. Season the snapper fillets with the salt & pepper and place on your preheated grill. In a pan saute' the fruit for aproximately 3-5 minutes(you want some juice to start coming out but don't turn the fruit to mush). Add the rum, flambe', and let reduce by1/2. Add the coconut milk, reduce heat to a simmer, and reduce by 1/2. Top the finished snapper with the finished fruit salsa. Chef's notes: I prefer snapper for this recipe but, it will work with any white fish. I have successfully tried it with swordfish. Flaky fish works best though. Please don't use goldfish (tilapia). This is a very tasty dish that shouldn't be wasted on a cheap piece of fish. Flambe'ing the rum can omnly be done if you use a gas burner. It burns of the alcohol, and prevents intoxication. If you want to get a slight buzz ( that's all you'll get from 2 shots of rum) don't flambe'. You'll then retain the alcohol. I personally like to flambe' bcause it's neat to see the flames leap from the pan. In other words don't stand directly above the pan. Unless you don't want any eyebrows. My grill has a side burner which enables me to make the sauce right next to the fish and do the flambe'ing outdoors. Keeping the house safe from being burned down. ENJOY! Email The Happy Hour Chef.

Hempered Chef

Home Alone On Friday Chef

Happy Hour Chef

WOAH~
That's all I can say for my poor friend the Happy Hour Chef. I understand completely where he is at...for I have just recently been 'laid off' my job also. It was all really about the political B.S. that happens around private organizations like Elks club. Okay, so they do a lot of good for children's hospitals, it's just too bad that all of the members there are ASSHOLES. (No hard feelings, right?) Well, at least it frees me up to go cook in a real restaurant, instead of some shithole kitchen that prefers their soup from a can and their steaks from the freezer.

Enough bitchin'. I simply just unwound after this turn of events with my latest creation, and my new CD's. I was able to locate the Pearl Jam shows from Palm Beach, back in August last year. I ordered both of them since I wasn't able to go to both shows. Nice sound and great live tunes. Too bad for James that he doesn't care for the Grateful Dead - they were pioneers in concert production in their time, and were the originators of the 'Wall of Sound', similar to today's large scale concert stacks.

Anyway...enjoy this one~

Hempered Stir Fry

2 Tablespoons Sesame Oil
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut into thin slices
1 small can bamboo shoots
1 small can water chestnuts
1 cup broccoli, chopped
1/2 cup carrots, sliced
1/4 cup cashews, whole preferred
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 Tablespoon Peanut Butter
1 pinch crushed red pepper (or more heh~)
1/2 ounce hemp cleaned from the stems, with seeds, chopped fine (I use a food processor to bring to almost powdered state)

This is a simple, 1 pot meal (heh)....

Take a saute' pan large enough to hold all your ingredients and heat the sesame oil over medium heat until HOT. Add the hemp AND seeds. Saute for 5 minutes, then add the chicken. Turn the heat up to medium high, and cook until the chicken is completely cooked. Add the rest of the ingredients except the soy sauce, and saute until soft. Add the soy sauce and cook for just a minute. This recipe serves 4, so DON'T eat it all yourself....you may just wake up in November.

The HeMpEred ChEf~

13 hours of music. 10,000 Freaks. $4.00 Ice Tea. What is all this? Why, it was Ozzfest in Tampa, Florida. Before I give you the latest from the kitchen of the Hempered Chef, let me tell you about my latest excursion into the real of live music.

I must begin with a little rant ~ first of all, this was by far THE MOST EXPENSIVE Concert I have ever attended. The tickets were $65.95 each when you add in TicketBastard's cut, which is pretty fucking outRAGEous! That is the cost for a general admission ticket, which was all that was available. The thing the I am the most pissed about however, is the fact that they changes Venues. Originally, the was going to take place in an open field in Zephyrhills. Awesome..,outdoor concerts are great, and they sound great. NOOOOOOOO....they moved it to Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, an indoor baseball stadium. There were 2 stages outside, and the main stage inside for the last 8 bands. But in order to get floor admission, you had to be one of the first 5,000 when they open the doors at 4:00. WHen we arrived at 1:00...they had opened the doors already! And all the floor spots were gone. WHat BullshiT! Now we paid to sit up in the crappy baseball seats. The inside bands were not supposed to start until after the outside bands were done. But they fucked that up too! We decided to skip Mudvayne (I thought they sucked) and cruise indoors to get some air conditioning and to relax before the first band inside started....and to get some decent seats. WHat do I hear coming from inside.... the first band...What the Hell? Zakk Wylde's Black Label Society. I thought they sucked, but he played a couple of kewl solos.

Then followed Crazytown, Linkin Park, then Disturbed. They were okay, they played their hit songs okay, but I really was looking forward to disturbed. Lead singer comes out on stage and says, "You wanna see something REALLY FUCKED UP?!? The video turns on the huge Movie Screens there for us poor fuckers in the stands. The dude is hammering a nail into his nose!! I think to myself, 'Damn, that IS really fucked up. What a bastard.' They were awesome on stage UNTIL they broke out into one of the most despised songs I can think of.....'Shout', by those fags Tears for Fears. Oh my GOD...I almost 'fed the fish' (barfed) on the guy in fromt of me. I also dropped this band about 56 notches down on my kewl list. After that, Papa Roach. THEY SUCK ASS....We went to go get some ice cream for the group, and returned to ignore the band and wait for Slipknot. WOAH! SOme really intense death metal.....My girlfriend's brother was solo-moshing since you can't do that shit in the stands with cops everywhere. They were high energy and they played a kewl version of 'Wait and Bleed' that was like 10 minutes long....then MANSON. Even though the man is a total FREAK and an asshole...(James will totally disagree with me here) I dig his music, and he puts on a good show. Nice Pyrotechnics, with some major loud explosions at the at the end that left the whole dome in a fog and my ears ringing. By now I am worn out but OZZY WAS NEXT! They start out with their huge cross on fire, with the words BLACK SABBATH Visible in the cross...a video plays with Ozzy talking on stage, talking about Black Sabbath's history. Ozzy throws buckets of water, and laughs in the mic. Sounds great and has lots of energy...after their opener (I forget...must have been the second hand pot smoke) I hear War Pigs...nicE. Then Iron Man....Tony Iommi is jamming...the video shows his fingers blurring up and down the frets, holy shit the man can ROCK! Ozzy breaks out the harmonica, and fucks up the first couple notes. "GOD it's been a long time..." He gets a drink and tries again. HE gets it right and the song goes on...tosses more water, grabbes some huge hoses onstage and soaks the front 1,000 people. (FUCK THOSE TROPICANA FIELD ASSHOLES..I wanted to be on the floor!) After a minute tune up and ozzy resting and throwing buckets of water, he strolls to the mic. "Here is the first song we wrote together, and it's great to play it for you tonight. Are you ready? (Crowd cheers) I said are you FUCKING READY?!?!?" CROWD FREAKS! The sound of the church bells tolling.....Black Sabbath..my all time Favorite! The guitars hit and the sound shakes my insides. WOW.....Ozzy starts in on perfect cue and Tony's guitar barely touches the notes behind him making the eerie sounds that made him famous. They end their set with an insane jam that turned the crowd into a frenzy.

I am still upset over the cost of the show, thank god I only paid $50 for 2 hotel rooms (I get killer employee discounts).

Poaches Apples with Cinnamon Ice Cream

1 pint Cinnamon Ice cream
2 Apples
2 cups Water
2 cups sugar
1 stick cinnamon
Allspice
Caramel Sauce

Cut the apples in half (not from top to bottom) and scoop out the seeds. Bring the rest of the ingredients (except the ice cream and caramel, duh) to a low boil and poach the apples about 20 minutes, or until they are soft. Remove, pat dry, and place in a bowl. Top with the cinnamon ice cream and caramel sauce. THis serves 4 and rocks!

The HeMPereD Chef

4:20 pm 7/10

Ahhhhhh yes.....summertime. The time of year where Florida becomes one of the worst places to live....besides the freak lightning storms and hurricanes that pass by occasionally, now we have sharks to contend with also. Good thing I am too stoned to go in the water~

The summer also brings lots and lots of live music to Florida...as a matter of fact, I will be enjoying Ozzfest coming this Saturday in St. Petersburg. I am looking forward to catching Black Sabbath...a long time fav of mine but never seen before. Good thing summer brings all that rain so the cow pastures get nice and wet...that means lots of mushrooms growing (hmmmmmmmmmmmm :)

We welcome Manson back to Florida.......

Enough about my luck and your misfortune, let's move on to the yummies, shall we?

In honor of it being 4:20 pm, I decided to let loose another one of my sacred hemp recipes. THis one is a little different, but I think you will enjoy the overall effect. And just to give you a little information on where these recipes come from, they are originals created in MY kitchen, and not robbed from any other website. If my recipes happen to coincide with another site, it is either:

a) purely coincidental
b) Big Brother was watching me
c) James has been selling my recipes and making a profit off me
d) Some BASTARD has been swiping my shit (I have friends all over, so you had better watch your back and check under your car before you start it!)

I hope that has cleared up any questions you may have. If not EMAIL ME ! I have yet to recieve a single email from any fans yet...although James claims that I have many...(That means email me you stoner!)

Hempered Wings

1 stick of Butter
1/4 oz. shwag (Don't spend your money on good weed, there is no real difference in potency no matter what your friends say)
2 lbs. chicken wings or drummettes
6 Finely chopped Jalepeno peppers or 1 small jar chopped jalepenos
1/2 cup any hot sauce (Texas Pete is my fav, Tabasco if you are brave)
salt, pepper, oregano to taste

This is a very simple recipe, so please be liberal with it. In a saucepan, melt the butter and add the weed. I prefer to food process or at least break up the stuff really well. Simmer on LOW LOW heat for about 20 minutes. Be careful and stir often to not burn it. Strain the butter through cheesecloth (a coffee filter works very good also) and return to the heat. Add the chopped Jalepenos and saute for approx 5-7 minutes, until the Jalepenos are soft. Remove from the heat and and cool. Season and Bake the wings in a preheated 375 degree oven for 12-18 minutes, or until they are cooked through. Now here is where the fun begins! This recipe serves 4 - so divide the Jalepeno/Cannibutter mix into four seperate dipping bowls, and warm in a pan of simmering water until just melting. Put all the extra hot sauces you have hanging out, even if it is just left over Taco Bell packets from last nights 29 cent Taco munchie run. Get 3 of your buddies over, and pig out! Of course, if you want the full effect, you must eat all of the sauce put in front of you. Mix some extra sauce in if you want to...a few drops of sesame oil in the butter mix before cooling will help dull the weed taste. Of course, if you prefer just the sauce without the weed you can skip the 20 minute simmering process and just start with the jalepenos, but puree them instead of just chopping.

This recipe is memory of our pet chameleon, Clyde, who was Euthanized Sunday Afternoon after an unexpected intestinal problem. We will be planting an herb garden (heh~) in his memory.

The HeMpEred ChEf~

WAZZZZZZZZUP! This next creation has some significance - it is the first idea for a new menu I am creating. Apparently, things aren't going so well at my part-time job and they are wanting to change the name the whole menu and everything. I Just so happened to be 'in the right place at the right time'. The owner has my resume and I will be attending a meeting with him, his partner, and the Food and Beverage Manager at the hotel..to discuss MY ideas.~

THis, my friends, could be a nice opportunity to begin a name for myself in Cocoa Beach. Not only that, but my American Culinary Federation application arrived in the mail and soon I will be certified and will be able to attend all the cool competitions and begin taking over the culinary world.

In the meantime, here is what I made for breakfast this morning~

Eggs Bahamas with Coconut Hashbrowns

1 English Muffin - sliced and toasted
4 shrimp, peeled and deveined
1/4 cup Carribean Hollandaise (recipe to follow)
1 Potato, peeled and shredded
1 Tablespoon shredded coconut
Salt and Pepper

Carribean Hollandaise~

2 egg yolks
1/2 cup clarified butter
1 Tablespoon Pineapple Juice
1 Teaspoon Lemon Juice
1 Teaspoon orange zest
3 drops Tabasco sauce
Fresh Cracked Pepper to taste

In a food processor, pulse the egg yolks until smooth. In a saucepan on medium-low heat, warm the butter until beginning to simmer. With the processor running, pour half of the butter in a slow stream, pausing to allow the butter to incorporate and cook the eggs. Scrape the sides of the processor and slowly add the second half. Scrape the processor again and mix until smooth. The sauce should have the consistency of mayonnaise. Scoop out into a bowl, and fold in the juices, the tabasco, and the pepper, one at a time. The sauce should be thinned out with a few drops of water at a time until just thin enough to pour. Place to the side (do not refrigerate).

In a saute pan, with a little butter, cook the shrimp on medium heat until just done and place on top of the toasted english muffin. Top with poached eggs (or fried if you prefer) and then pour the Carribean Hollandaise on top.

In a small bowl, mix the coconut and potatoes. Scatter freely in the same saute pan as the shrimp and flip once when golden brown, about 3-5 minutes on each side. Serve this with a side of orange marmalade, and your girlfriend (sorry James~) will wake you up every morning to make this for her.

Wish me lucK~

The Hempered Chef

I apologize for my 'high'- atus (heh~) but between 2 jobs and school, I hardly have time to myself or my girlfriend. I did however have Most of Memorial Day weekend off, and I was able to spend some 'quality time' at home relaxing..~ It turns out that the 27th, Saturday, was the 50th anniversary of my grandfather being killer in Korea. I guess some of us give a little more than others....

ANyway, enough of the blibber-blabbing, here is my tasty recipe o' the daY:

Dave's Lip-smacking French Onion Dip~

2 Onions, diced medium
16 oz beef broth...canned is cool
32 oz sourcream
1/4 cup chopped garlic (or regular) chives
salt and cayenne pepper
WOODEN spoon

OK....first put away that Lipton onion soup mix and shut up. Lipton has nothing on me. Take your diced onion, and in a little olive oil, saute yer onions until they are well caramalized....I mean almost BURNT...but don't burn 'em. Keep the heat down low and keep stirring them. The browner the better. Now add half of the beef broth, and cook until almost all dissolved. Get all the crap off of the bottom of the pan (all the onion goo) with your spoon. Add the second half of the beef broth and a little salt and cayenne, maybe 1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon. Continue to cook down until almost all of the liquid is dissolved and remove from the heat.

Cool down to room temperature, then mix into the sour cream. Add salt and pepper to taste, then mix in the chives - reserving a few for garnish unless you are just a pig and you plan to pound this down yourself with a bag of Ruffles in front of the Comedy Channel.

I strongly recommend you refrigerate this overnight...it will be MUCH more yummer the next day...

~The HemPered CHef

My pal, the Happy Hour Chef, recently posted the recipe for Bananas Foster. I have to say that of all the recipes I use, that one is one of my favorites. I recently made a dessert at the club I work at that is similar to Bananas Foster in that it is served over vanilla ice cream.

Strawberries are in season now and you can get tons of them for a really good price, especially if you live near Plant City, FL. This recipe sounds really bizarre, but trust me, you will be pouring extra stuff on your ice cream and getting paper towels instead of napkins to wipe the stuff from your face!

Hot Basalmic Strawberries~

4 Pints Strawberries
1/4 cup basalmic vinegar
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1 Tablespoon Unsalted butter
Grand Marnier
Vanilla Ice creaM~

Take 2 of the pints of strawberries, wash and pull the leaves and any stems off of them. Slice into a bowl, and mash with a mash potato masher. Add half of the balsamic vinegar and half of the brown sugar, and mash into the mixture. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

When you are ready to serve this, have your ice cream in the bowls ready. I always buy the best vanilla ice cream I can get, French Vanilla is most acceptable. If you can, freeze the bowls with the ice cream in it! Wash and slice the other 2 pints of strawberries. In a saute pan, melt the butter and toss in the sliced strawberries. Saute for just a minute, to heat the berries through. Add the rest of the basalmic vinegar and brown sugar, and heat until just simmering. Add the mashed berry mixture, and continue to heat until beginning to thicken. Pour about a quarter to a half cup of the liquor ( liquor? I hardly know her! ~ Happy hour Chef) into the mix and IGNITE. Don't be stupid and put your face above it when you light it or pour the liquor over an open flame. Otherwise, I might see you on the Darwin Awards. Back off from yor stove, pour it in, then light it. After the flame has gone out, light it again to make sure the booze has burned out. Spoon the stuff over the ice cream and serve. If you want to add a really killer affect ~ push a hole into the top of the ice cream with the handle of a wooden spoon, fill with Grand Marnier, and turn the lights out.... light 'em up and serve 'em~

Feeds 1 to 6 depending on how much sauce you eat while it is cooking (heh)~

Email The Hempered Chef~

Peanut Butter 420 Cookies~

In the immortal words of Droopy Dog, "Hello all you happy people." Well, another 4/20 has gone and passed, and I have finally come down from the silky-blue haze of my favorite National Holiday. The results of that insane smoke-fest would be yet another fantastically delicious creation involving one of Mother Nature's greatest living plant, cannibus.

I guess you say this recipe was 'highly' experimental in nature, but I can assure you that the effects greatly outweigh any after-taste it may leave in your mouth. However, you may be surprised~

Ingredients
� ounce finely ground herbs (stems & seeds too!)
� cup sugar
� cup light brown sugar
1 � sticks unsalted butter
� cup peanut butter
2 eggs
1 � cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
� teaspoon salt
� cup chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. In a nonstick pan, bring the butter to a simmer, then reduce heat to a very slight simmer. Saute the herbs for 20 minutes, stirring and being careful not to burn the butter. Cool slightly, then strain through a cheesecloth, squeezing to get as much butter as possible out. Cool the 'cannibutter' to room temperature. In a mixer with a paddle attachment, (or hand mixer) combine the sugars, butter and peanut butter. Beat until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition. Sift together the flour, the baking soda and the salt and add to the dough. Dough should be stiff enough to shape with your hands. Make 1-inch balls and place on a lightly greased cookie sheet. Gently press thumb into the balls to flatten the cookies slightly and make an indentation in the center of the cookie. Press 3 or 4 chocolate chips into the indentation. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until lightly golden brown. Remove cookies from the oven and transfer to wire racks to cool. Makes about 30 cookies, give or take. I do not recommend eating more than 6-8....enjoY~

James note - if the Hempered Chef recommends limiting consumption to 6-8, I would advise the rest of you to cut it off at 2-3... Remember folks, he's a professional! ;)

Hot Spinach Artichoke Dip

This is an excellent dip for any party situation. It's very simple to make, about a half hour's time, and isn't too expensive, either. I will be whipping up a huge batch of this for a '4/20' party...a special day for us reefer smokers. There are always lots of local happenings around town on that day. For example, the head shops in Orlando are all having some sort of sale and or giveaway...usually a fantastically expensive glass bong. Even the radio stations get into it, like 101.1 WJRR. It's an okay station, they play a mix of Alternative and Classic Rock, but I prefer 96.5 WHTQ. They play good classic rock, not just the Eagles and Zepplin, but a nice variety.

OK, Enough about the radio stations, on to the dip. You will need:

1/2 cup minced onion
2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
2 cloves minced garlic
1 small can artichoke hearts (about 5 or 6), quartered
1 package fresh spinach epinards (leaves)
2 8 oz packages cream cheese
1/2 cup Sour cream
Some shredded mozzarella and parmesean

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Saute the onions in the olive oil on medium heat in a large saucepan until they are caramalized, and beginning to stick to the pan. Add the garlic, stir for just 30 seconds to render the flavor out of it. (Good ShiOT~) Throw in the Spinach Leaves and 2 Tablespoons of water, and cover the pan tightly and shake slightly for a minute. This will wilt the leaves and loosen the stuff on the bottom of the pan ~ that stuff is all good flavor. Uncover and stir, loosening everything from the pan and stirring it all together. Throw in the artichoke hearts, and mix well. Lower the heat and let simmer for a few minutes to cook off any excess liquid in the pan. Stir in the sour cream, then the cream cheese, and continue to simmer and stir, until the mixture is smooth and mixed well. Add salt and white pepper to taste. Pour the mix into an oven safe crock or casserole dish, and top with shredded mozzarella and sprinkle with parmesean cheese. Bake until bubbly and the parmasean cheese has browned slightly.

Serve with whatever crackers you want, in a pumpernickel loaf, in sourdough, or however you want to pound it down. It's some of the tastiest dip you will ever stuff down your piehole!

The restaurant I work at serves a really crappy version of this, and the chef is too lazy to take time on any dish. Oh well, at you least YOU have the real reacipe!

Chicken Quesadilla Omelets

Before I get into this recipe, I should tell a little about my morning part-time job. I work at this sports bar attached to a hotel, and I cook breakfast 5 mornings a week. It's very slow, and I get paid fairly decent to sit around and listen to Grateful Dead CD's, and cook a few orders a day. One of the other employees, a cook (not Chef) we will call Jose', works evenings and my days off. He is a cuban, Menudo lookin' mofo, who can spell, but doesn't quite get English all the way. Besides, he sucks ass as a cook.

Anyway, I come into work this morning and unlock stuff and go to the Head Chef's office to get a knife, and I see this note lying on the desk: "Chef - I need silver scratchy balls for the dishes. Jose"

I must say that 15 minutes later when I picked myself off of the floor from laughing, I sat and pondered on what sort of disease 'silver scratchy balls' were, until I realized he meant the stainless steel scrubbers used in the restaurant. I must say it is fun to have the Cubans here in Florida.

SO Today's recipe was devised yesterday morning for the daily breakfast special. Nearly every customer (four) ordered one! But I cooked myself one after I had my kitchen ready, 'cause I had a minor case of the munchies (heh)~. I suggest a very good nonstick pan for this omelet, it just makes things easier.

Ingredients:

Some cooked chicken - as much as you want to stuff in. Leftover KFC is perfect, just peel any breading off, and separate the meat from the bone and chop it up.
2 Tablespoons Butter, seperated
1/4 cup Minced onion
1/4 cup Minced green pepper
1/4 cup Chopped Tomato
salt, pepper to taste
3 eggs, beaten
Shredded Jalepeno Jack Cheese

On Medium Heat, Saute in 1 Tablespoon of butter the onion, pepper, and tomato with a little salt and pepper. When just starting to caramelize, add the chopped chicken and saute until hot. Place mix to the side in a little bowl, and wipe the pan with a paper towel to remove any stuff. Put the other Tablespoon of butter on, and place back on heat. WHen butter melts, add the eggs and cook, without stirring, until eggs are almost set. using a rubber spatula, flip the omelet and remove from heat. Put the chicken mix on the half opposite the handle of your pan, and top with the Jack Cheese. Using the rubber spatula, fold the other half over the goodies and slide onto your plate. YuM~

You can top it with a little salsa and/or sour cream for a little kick. Of course, it's a pretty big omelet, so make sure your tummy is grumblin'!

ENJOY! Email The Hempered Chef

Heat Beatin' Drink!

Ingredients:
SoBe Diet Green Tea (20 oz bottle)
Ice

Procedure:
Take a glass down from your kitchen cupboard. Remember that you're using a 20 oz bottle of tea, so try to use at least a 32 oz collector's cup from Taco Bell. Fill the cup with ice. Twist open the top of the bottle of green tea and remove the cap. Put the cup of ice underneath the bottle. Now turn the bottle upside-down, and empty the contents into the glass, over the ice.

ENJOY!

Late night snack

Ingredients:
Popcorn
M & M's

Procedure:
Arrange the popcorn in a bowl. Add a handful or two of M & M's. For a more effective presentation, use a white ceramic bowl, many different colors of M & M's, and a brightly colored paper towel to wipe the excess butter from your chin.

ENJOY!

Easter Dinner

Ingredients:
One box pre-cooked chicken nuggets
One bottle of Stubbs' BBQ sauce

Procedure:
Arrange chicken nuggets on a microwave-safe plate. Heat on "high" for approximately 3 minutes, longer if frozen. While the chicken is heating, pour 2 or 3 seconds' worth of the BBQ sauce into a small container. When the microwave dings, take out the chicken. Put the small container onto the plate containing the chicken. Before taking a bite of the chicken, try dipping it into the sauce.

ENJOY!

Breakfast of Champions

Ingredients:
1/2 cup milk
1 cup Quaker Toasted Oatmeal (Honey Nut Crunch)

Procedure:
Arrange 1 cup Quaker Toasted Oatmeal in a bowl. Pour 1/2 cup milk over the mixture.

ENJOY!

Microwave Burritos

Open wrapper. Put frozen burrito on plate. Microwave on high for 90 seconds.

ENJOY! Email The Home Alone on Friday Chef.

Well I've been having about as much fun as one man can possibly have. I get to sit at home from 9-5 and see if the phone rings. I've sent my resume' to about 25-30 different companies, and have heard from enough to count on 1 hand with fingers left over. And I've been unemployed for over a week. Sitting at home also means, outside of parentals that visit, I haven't dealt with anyone over the age of 7 in that same week (I go to have my daughters over for visitation. Don't get me wrong I love them, but I do need an adult conversation every once in a while).

And to top it off I crashed and burned yet again. It seems the only women I can get interested in me have been passed around more than a joint at a Dead concert. I get the same thing James does,"you're so nice I don't want to ruin our friendship." And people wonder why I drink. My life could easily take up at least a week's worth of Springer shows. Now that I'm done ranting I'll give you my new recipe. I hope you still have the last one you'll need it.

Roasted Garlic Wing Sauce

Ingredients:
2 cups Tabasco sauce
1 cup liquid margerine
1/2 cup roasted garlic puree
1/4 cup diced jalapenos

Procedures:
Easy enough, mix all the ingredients together. To make liquid margerine, if you can't find it at the store, take and 1 1/2 cups solid margerine and melt it slightly in the microwave. You don't want it to be thin and completely melted.

ENJOY!

Ah, July, that lovliest of months. James has nothing on my past month. It started on a high note, I closed on my 1st home. I then took vacation. Then things went down hill. Between furniture (I owned nothing thanks to a fun split from my ex 4 years ago) and just a little bit of paint and supplies I spent over a grand. Add that to the $7,500 it took just to get into my house ($5,900 of that thanks to a bad debt from aforementioned ex). Then 10 days after the closing I come to find out my roof leaks. More dough out the window. And then, just to cap it all off, I get fired. Which of course leaves me temporarily unemployed. They wanted to cut management labor, and I made $11,600 more than than average pay for my position. Yet, out of the blue mind you, I supposedly have poor job performance, which has never been brought up before. Sounds like bullshit to me, but I wanted out of the place anyway. I'm not political by nature, and there was just to much ass kissing going on there for my liking.

But anyway, enough of my rant. My next recipe is a nice one that can be used for a lot of things. Save it or remember it, because you will need it for the next recipe I give you.

Roasted Garlic Puree

Ingredients:
1 1/4# peeled garlic cloves
vegetable oil
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
salt and pepper

Procedures:
Place the garlic cloves in a cake pan. Pour enough vegetable oil over the garlic to cover it all. Cover with foil and roast in 350 degree oven for 1 1/2 hours. Remove from oven and let cool down slightly. Drain and reserve the oil. Place the roasted garlic and parmesan cheese into a food processor and puree. Slowly pour the reserved oil into the mixture while still leaving on the food processor. You will not need all of the oil. You want the mixture to become the consistency of peanut butter. Salt and pepper to taste. Save the remaining oil. It goes great with balsamic vinegar on salads.

ENJOY!

Hello again all you fellow alcoholics. I'm sorry it's been so long, but I had some work to do with the house I just bought. I just want to give Hempered Chef some big kudos. But I also want to set some things straight:

1st) There truly aren't any "original" recipes any more.
2nd) Everything that is considered "original" is, more or less, a variation of an existing recipe.
3rd) This is caused by creation. A good chef knows what tastes go well together and creates "new" dishes by making these variations

With that said here comes my most recent recipe to this site. It is not an "original", because I stole the idea from T.G.I. Fridays Jack Daniel's Sauce. I just made a variation of it for my own personal liking and use. It works great as a barbecue sauce or as a steak sauce or dipping sauce for chicken and shrimp.

Myer's Rum Sauce

Ingredients:

2 TBS. vegetable oil
1 cup finely diced shallots
1/2 bottle of Myer's Dark Rum (or any dark rum if you don't want to spend that much)
2 cups molasses
1 cup brown sugar
4 cups water
2 TBS. beef soup base
Arrow root

Procedures:

In a sauce pot heat the vegetable oil over medium heat, but do not burn it. Add the shallots and caramelize them. (Cook until they start to turn a brownish color, but not burnt). Add the rum. Bring to a boil and reduce by 1/2. Add the molasses, brown sugar, water and soup base. Again bring to a boil and reduce by 1/2. Slowly whisk in the arrow root until the mixture is the consistency of a barbecue sauce. Remove from heat and let cool.

ENJOY!

Hello to all searchers of "recipes to get you absolutely shit-faced"(let's see how many more hits that gives this site). For you regulars, sorry it's been so long. Buying a house is like anal sex, a pain in the ass( should provide more hits). I though it wouldn't be any harder than buying a car. Pick the one you want, get approved for the loan and move right in. NOT! Needless to say this should be one of the very few times in my life I go through this process. You need paperwork to substantiate your paperwork. Fun, oh, fun. But anyway, I have a new recipe for you. It's a nice sauce that works great for roasting, grilling or rotisserie of any type of meat.

Honey Balsamic Burgundy Glaze

ingredients:
3 cups Burgundy wine
2 cups balsamic vinegar
1 cup honey
1/2 cup corn starch

procedure:
Mix the burgundy wine, balsamic vinegar and honey together. Reserve 2 cups of the mixture to the side. In a sauce pot bring the rest of the mixture to a boil. Combine the corn starch with the reserved mixture to make what I like to call a "slurry". ( I was know as the Corn Starch King at my last job because I hated to go through the process of making a proper rue.) Add the "slurry" to the boiling mixture. Bring to a boil again. Reduce heat when boiling. Simmer until the glaze is the consistency of a barbeque sauce.

ENJOY!

Sorry it's been so long folks. I've been house hunting, and I killed, I mean found, one. I'm finally going to be a home owner at the age of 30. Yes, I said 30. No snickering, Damn it! So celebrate with me and have a drink. Pour yourself one of these, it's what I'm having.

Everglades Special

1oz. light rum
1oz. white creme de cacao
1oz. light cream
2 tsp. Kahlua
shake and serve over ice

I promise to have a food recipe sometime in the near future(maybe).

IT"S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN!!! Just like any where else in this great country, South Florida fishing goes into over drive from May through September. Thus you will not hear from me as often as before. Also it's vacation time, and God knows where I'll cast my line during this year's. Last year was out there in California on the American River for small steelhead trout. This year it's looking like West Virginia and the Potomac for either trout or smallmouth bass. For those of you who enjoy fishing I raise my glass and propose a toast. Here's to many tight lines and very few stories of that ones that got away, because, hey, they didn't! For the rest of you here's a great summer dish for either picnics or watching baseball games on TV.

Beer Cheese Dip

ingredients:
2 TBSP butter
1 ea. julienned spanish onion
2ea. 12 oz beers
3 cups water
1 TBSP chicken soup base
2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 cup heavy whipping cream
Arrow root

procedures:
In a sauce pot, saute' the julienned onion in the butter. Add the beer and reduce by 1/2. Add the water and chicken soup base and bring to a boil. Add the cheddar cheese, stirring frequently until it is melted. Reduce heat and add heavy cream. With a wire whisk stir the mixture and slowly add Arrow root until the mixture is almost as thick as a dip. Simmer for approximately 5 minutes to allow the Arrow root to thicken the dip even further.

The dip is best served hot, but can be enjoyed just as well cold.

ENJOY!

Seeing as the Hempered Chef and I have started a fruit trend I might as well keep it up. Personally I'm usually not known as fruity just plain nuts. Once again there is more than one recipe to make this dish.

Cream Cheese Stuffed Pork Chops with Port Wine Apple Sauce

Cream Cheese Stuffing

ingredients:
8 oz. cream cheese
2 TBSP chopped basil
2 TBSP chopped parsley
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/2 cup plain bread crumbs

procedures:
Mix all ingriedents together.

Port Wine Apple Sauce

ingredients:
3 ea. 8oz. cans of apples in syrup
1 cup brown sugar
1 TBSP cinnamon
1 bottle of Port wine

procedures:
In a sauce pot combine 1/2 the bottle of port wine, apples, brown sugar and cinnamon. Bring to and keep at a boil. Stir frequently to avoid burning on the bottom. You want to reduce the wine completely away. The apples need to turn to mush so that they can be mashed. If you need to keep adding wine until the apples are to that point. When they are remove from the heat and mash with a potato masher. Transfere to a bowl and cool in a refridgerator.

The final dish requires thick cut pork chops( about 1" is a good size). Butterfly the pork chops( cut a slice into them but not all the way through. When you do this and open them up it looks like a butterfly.) Stuff each pork chop with the cream cheese stuffing. Cook the pork chops any way you desire. I prefer pan searing them. When done plate up the pork chops and top with the apple sauce.

Chef's note:
A big misconception is that with pork being the other white meat it needs to be cooked until it is opaque all the way through. This is not true. Unlike chicken, pork can not make you sick if it is cooked to beef like temperatures. The only thing is pork has to be cooked to at least medium. Medium rare or rare can make you sick. Medium is the ideal temperature for pork. to get a medium pork product cook it until it no longer looks "raw" but is not completey opaque.

ENJOY!

Not to sound ungrateful to the weather gods (south Florida is in a major drought situation with massive water restrictions right now), but why does it have to rain on my only day off? I'm a beach bum for christ's sake. I need sun or I'll shrivel up and die (just like one of Hempered Chef's canabus plants would). So what did I do you ask? Well like any beach bum does when it rains, had pizza and drinks.

The recipe for both the pizza and drink are the following ones. You'll need the New Orleans style barbecue sauce for the pizza

Cajun Pizza

ingredients:

1 ea. pizza crust or dough (any kind will do)
1/2 cup New Orleans Style Barbecue Sauce
1 1/2 cups shredded Pepper Jack cheese
1 ea. julienned green pepper
1 ea. julienned spanish onion
1/4 lb. sliced mushrooms
1 lb. sliced andouille sausage

procedures:
Simple top the pizza crust/dough with the ingredients( sauce, cheese then toppings), and bake in 350 degree oven until thoroughly cooked.

Rum Runner

1 1/2 oz. light rum
1 1/2 oz. coconut rum
1 1/2 oz. dark rum
1 1/2 oz. banana liquer
1 1/2 oz. blackberry brandy
2 oz. lime juice
2 1/2 oz orange juice
2 1/2 oz. pineapple juice
dash of grenadine

Mix and serve on the rocks. Or for a frozen drink combine with ice in a blender.

Bananas Foster

I just talked to an old girlfriend who I haven't talked to or see in about 9 years. We had a good relationship. Things just happened, and we went our seperate ways. It was great to hear from her again, and it left me with a sort of happy/sweet feeling. So this next dish is dedicated to her and that feeling. It's a 2 recipe dish. You have to make them in the order that they're listed here.

1. Caramel sauce
ingredients:
3 cups granulated sugar
3 cups water
1 quart heavy whipping cream

procedures:
In a small pot combine sugar and water. Bring to a boil. Keep at a boil. When the mixture starts to change color watch it closely. It will burn if not. Once it goes just a hair darker then caramel colored slowly wisk in the heavy cream. Remove from stove, and let cool at room temperature.

Foster Sauce:
ingredients:
1 TBSP butter
4 ea. sliced bananas
1 cup dark rum
3 cups caramel sauce
1 cup chopped roasted walnuts

procedures:
In a pan saute' the sliced bananas in the butter until soft(not mushy). Add the rum and flambe'. Add the caramel and walnuts. remove from heat.

This dish consists of the foster sauce served over vanilla icecream. As soon as you remove the sauce from the stove poor it over the icecream and serve. You have to flambe' the rum in this one(sorry but the alcohol does change the flavor this time. Just finish the bottle to get buzzed.) To do so I suggest a long grill lighter if you don't have a gas stove.

ENJOY!

Tequila Lime Chicken

Ingredients:
1 ea. whole chicken (remove the entrail sack, that's the neck, gizzard and liver)
1/2 bottle Tequila
3 cups lime juice
1 bunch cilantro
1/2 cup fine diced habanero peppers
1 cup granulated garlic
1/4 cup kosher salt
1/4 cup ground black pepper
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup molasses

Procedures:
This recipe is very simple. Mix all of the ingredients together in a bowl large enough to marinate the chicken in. Marinate the chicken for 24 hours. turning every 4-6 hours if not completely covered by the marinade. After 24 hours remove the chicken and place to the side. In a sauce pot bring the liquid to a boil and reduce to the thickness of a syrup. This will make a glaze for the chicken. Grill the chicken for approximately 30 mins. Brushing periodically with the glaze.

Notes:
I have to credit James with the idea for this one. He has mentioned lime marinated foods he's done and it intrigued me. So I put a spin on it. The grilling time on your chicken will vary as to weight and amount of time it has been marinated. The alcohol in the tequila and citric acid in the lime juice start the cooking process. Basically it pickles the chicken at first. Always make sure any poultry is white all the way through before eating.

ENJOY!

A quick little piece of personal history: I worked for an Italian restaurant for 5 years before joining with my current gig. In that time I slaved 80 hours a week as an overglorified Line cook when I should have been managing as an Executive chef. When I left about 1/2 of the menu were ideas I either created or helped to create. I come to find out that almost a year later they came out with their "new" menu. Having a new chef they should have new dishes created by him, right? NOT! Of the 4 new menu items(and that was all for the new stuff) 3 were dishes I ran on a regular basis as specials. They couldn't get their own ideas. They just went and used mine. Needless to say I'm a little pissed. So as slight pay back I give you the recipe to their new "signature" dish, and a hell of a good one on my part( if I might say so).

Veal Rollatine in Marsala Sauce

Ingredients:

1# Veal hip- have your butcher cut this into 4ea. 4oz pieces for you
1/2# sliced mozzarella or asiago cheese
1/4# whole basil leaves
flour
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
2 cups sliced portabello mushrooms
2 cups Marsala wine
1 TBSP beef soup base
2 cups water
salt and pepper to taste

Procedures:
Light pound the veal with a meat mallet to 1/4" thickness. Lay the veal flat on you cutting board and layer with the cheese. Then layer with the basil leaves. Roll them up with the veal being the outer surface. Dredge the rollatines in the flour, coating them lightly. Preheat a saute' pan on medium heat. Add the olive oil and the rollatines. Sear until the surface is a nice golden brown. Add the portabellos and saute' 2 minutes. Add the Marsala wine and reduce by 1/2. Add the beef soup base and water. Reduce untill the sauce is almost to the consistency of a gravy, but not quite that thick. Season with the salt and pepper.

ENJOY!

New Orleans Style Barbacue Sauce

ingredients:
1ea. 12 oz. beer
3/4 cup white wine
Chef Paul Prodhomme's Blackened Redfish Magic to taste
2 TBSP garlic powder
3 TBSP butter
1/4 cup flour

procedures:
In a sauce pot combine the beer, wine, Blackening spices and garlic powder. Put on full heat, bring to a boil and reduce by half. Mix the butter and flour together in a bowl. When the liquid has reduced by half add the butter/ flour mixture. Reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes.

For those of you who have been reading these recipes I realized that I am use some cooking terms that I then don't explain. Like today's, reduce. To reduce a liquid means to do exactly that boil it so that you loss volume by evaporation. A reduction helps to not only help pull extra flavor out of the liquid but also to thicken anyhting you're making. This happens because the natural sugars in the liquid can't evaporate.

As for this recipe( as with most of mine) it is very simple. I just want to clarify a few things though:
1. I didn't list any brand or type of beer or wine. It doesn't matter what you use. When combined with the other ingredients the flavor is slightly noticable. But let's face it you're going to have to finish the other 11 beers and the rest of the bottle of wine. So don't use cheap stuff. Unless that's what you like to drink.
2. I list Chef Paul Prodhomme's Blackened Redfish Magic in the ingredients. That's my own choice. Use any kind of creole seasoning you like.
3. The amount of flour used can vary. If you want a thicker sauce use more flour. A thinner sauce use less. If you need to add more to thicken it up after you've already add the mixture do so will stirring with a wire whip to avoid flour balls from developing.

Feel free to experiment with any recipe you find. Experimentation is what seperates a Chef from a cook.

Personal note:
For those of you in California, I envy you. You have great wine and my favorite beer, Anchor Steam, readily available for this recipe. If you like my recipe feel free to send some as a little compensation.

Also my friend, The Hempered Chef, missed one other fun group of people that you get to work with here in Florida, Hatians. They speak creole as their language. One that 12 years later I still only know a few select words in(which I will not repeat).

Grilled Snapper w/ Warm Jamaican Fruit Salsa

Ingredients:
2 ea. Snapper fillets
1 ea. Orange
1ea. Mango
1/2 ea Pineapple
1 ea. Guava
3 ea. Kiwi
1/4 cup Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
1/2 cup Coconut milk or Coco Lopez
Salt & Pepper to taste

Procedures:
Clean all of your fruit(peel,seed, etc.), Dice into 1/4-3/8 inch pieces. Season the snapper fillets with the salt & pepper and place on your preheated grill. In a pan saute' the fruit for aproximately 3-5 minutes(you want some juice to start coming out but don't turn the fruit to mush). Add the rum, flambe', and let reduce by1/2. Add the coconut milk, reduce heat to a simmer, and reduce by 1/2. Top the finished snapper with the finished fruit salsa.

Chef's notes:
I prefer snapper for this recipe but, it will work with any white fish. I have successfully tried it with swordfish. Flaky fish works best though. Please don't use goldfish (tilapia). This is a very tasty dish that shouldn't be wasted on a cheap piece of fish. Flambe'ing the rum can omnly be done if you use a gas burner. It burns of the alcohol, and prevents intoxication. If you want to get a slight buzz ( that's all you'll get from 2 shots of rum) don't flambe'. You'll then retain the alcohol. I personally like to flambe' bcause it's neat to see the flames leap from the pan. In other words don't stand directly above the pan. Unless you don't want any eyebrows. My grill has a side burner which enables me to make the sauce right next to the fish and do the flambe'ing outdoors. Keeping the house safe from being burned down.

ENJOY! Email The Happy Hour Chef.