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January 27 - A shift in entertainment trends...
Cool. I'm gonna be a Nielsen family. Even though my home is technically not in an incorporated area, I still receive American satellite tv. So somehow I qualify to be the voice of thousands when it comes to television viewing. First off, apologies to a few of you - "Dancing With The Stars" will not be renewed on my watch. Any stations airing it will be required to incorporate pink triangles into their logo and join the Rainbow Network just so I can automatically block it from my TiVo. "American Idol" will be replaced with "Rock Star - Van Halen". "Lost" is safe for at least one more season, and the Sacramento Kings will still remain on the air - but barely. It's been a tough season...

Once my viewing habits are represented nationwide, you will all thank me for ensuring that "Married With Children" will have it's own channel and that "Survivor: South Central LA" will finally see the light of day. I'm already looking forward to the first challenge - buying a Mickey's Big Mouth at the Circle K while wearing a red headband in Crip country.

I'm guessing thet VH-1's "Metal Mania" will be expanded into a 12 hour program, and that "Reno 911" will produce a "very special episode" where they catch that English prick from "Distraction" in a bathhouse, and everybody dies amidst a sea of gunfire when he refuses to come out. We can only hope.

In short, watch for more explosions, bigger boobs, less talk, and more rock. And that's just when The KISS Channel hits the airwaves...

January 23 - So *that's* what it's like...
For the first time in many weeks, I got two days off in the same week. Not consecutively, but it's still better than the alternative. I could get used to this. Managed to mow the hay (can't really call it grass when it's yellow and badly in need of watering), harvest some citrus (nothing beats fresh grapefruit juice), and buy some supplies for my studio remodel. It was damaged in a flood, and then rendered useless in the wake of Hurricane Wilma. With any luck, it'll all be done, decorated, and operational in a month and I'll be able to get back to work on projects that actually fulfill me. Oh yeah, the FJ.com regional headquarters will be in there too... Maybe I'll do a FJ.com episode of Cribs when the house gutting is done...

In the meantime, I added a few shoddy, hastily-made graphics for some new site peripheral features - my MySpace page, and a site reader location map. Feel free to play around with either, and add yourself as you see fit. (I took the liberty of using my second home as the base of operations for the site... Side note - it's a hell of a tax shelter to be based there!) I also moved all of the links to their own page to clean up the front page a bit. More will be done as time permits over the next few days.

Oh well... All good things come to an end, and it's getting late. Reality kicks back in tomorrow and I have to go back to working nonstop for another week. But even though I'm stuck at work, it's still 80 degrees out and sunny in January. That never gets old.

January 17 - Coming out party.
I'm sure most of you have seen VH-1's endless series, "I Love The (insert decade) (add chapter)". In the off chance that your cable has been out for the past six years and you've missed any of it, a whole bunch of third and fourth rate "celebrities" reminisce and make snotty comments about outdated subject matter. After all, we love hearing people make fun of Rainbrow Brite, talk about the Iran/Contra affair, and then play with an Easy Bake oven. And who better to ponder such historical anecdotes than some chick who was once a guest on Mad TV? I guess Screech from Saved By The Bell was already booked on Celebrity Fit Club 7. (Of course, I only make fun of the guests until they choose me to be on the "Metal Expert" panel someday...)

Anyhow, one of the more frequent guests might actually be known to some of you. Of course, his first claim to fame was as the wacky guy on Talk Soup, who replaced the other wacky guy who left to start an acting career. The first guy found himself sealed to Ben Affleck in a publically lauded, critically lambasted movie that I've no interest in ever seeing. This guy currently finds himself rolling around with dudes in a Showtime tv series that critics seem to love even though no one actually watches it. That's right, he traded the glamour of making fun of Jerry Springer for the glamor of french kissing men on screen for money.

And after many years of doing so, and enduring the homophobic speculation of the general public, he's *finally* come out... as a metalhead.

Visit Hal Sparks' website and click on "video". You'll see him appear on stage, playing a Zakk Wylde-styled Bullseye Les Paul and fronting a band. The song? A cover of the classic KISS song "Young and Wasted", from the Lick It Up album. Cool.

Hurry up and check it out before Gene finds out!

January 14 - Ask and ye shall receive...
Every once in a while, a hot potato falls into your lap and you have to decide what to do with it. As mentioned a few days ago, I'd been following the FIFI LARUE saga on the Metal Sludge gossip board. It's been great entertainment.

So on a whim, I sent an email to FiFi himself asking him if he'd like to do an interview for my site. He actually agreed. I sent the questions, fully expecting him to either ignore me completely or tell me to go fuck myself. What was the outcome?

Click here.

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January 13 - Momentum.
The original plan was contingent on the weather. One of my days off would occur before the weather changed - that one would have been spent at the beach or outside having some fun. The other one would enable me to clean up the house, run some errands and do some outside yardwork that's been neglected for far longer than I'd care to admit. Of course, more shit hit the fan at work and I lost one of my days.

So here I am, wondering what I should do - run my errands and do the housework that needs doing - because I'll have no free time next week to catch up, or try to have some fun - because I have no idea when the next opportunity for that will be. So far, I've managed to feed the cats.

On the bright side, maybe I'll get fired soon and have a chance to be the lazy slacker I was always meant to be.

FJ Radio will be running a new theme early next week - GUITAR HEROES. Watch (and listen) for the greatest musicians to ever pick up the instrument. There will be solos o'plenty, cheesy lyrics, and inspiration to be found. You will hear instrumental shredfests and blazing technical glory. For all of the musicians out there, this is your week to tune in and sit there with your arms crossed and your eyes rolling, just like you do at the live shows when solo time comes.

There might be another good reason to check back as well. I'll be less cryptic about it in a few days! Suffice it to say, it'll either be a grand slam home run or a total beaning at the plate. I doubt it will be anything in between. Keep your fingers crossed!

January 8 - Pack a lunch.
I've been following a thread on Metal Sludge. It's grown to epic proportion, and I feel the need for everyone else to read it as well. I'll warn you - it's 50 pages long and still going strong. It will take you a long time to read it all. But it's absolutely worth every minute.

First, go check out this website - FiFi LaRue. Let the song load. Now understand that this guy is 43 and is only just now getting around to putting out a cd, featuring a "professional" lineup. He's spent 20+ years on the Hollywood strip doing pretty much nothing, having never really accomplished much outside of the pay-to-play circuit. Pretty bad, huh? And just how much does one have to suck for *me* to call them out for exceeding the maximum capacity for suckitude? Hell, I still listen to Roxx Gang. This guy makes Roxx Gang sound like Rachmaninoff. You'll also notice that he has the mental agility of toothpaste.

Anyhow, HE started the thread himself - posing as a young girl. A few squabbles follow, typical message board stuff. Then out of nowhere comes a guy who not only beat him up in the street, but also plugged his fiancee in the 80s. Let's just say that things started getting interesting. A few people with industry connections start calling him out on his outlandish claims of fame and success, which are summarily dismissed one by one. But it gets better - turns out the Feefster still lives with his mom, and painted the houses of CC DeVille and Eric Singer to get them to play on some demo tracks... 7+ years ago. That's his "new" cd with an "all-star" lineup.

Neither CC nor Eric signed releases to appear on the "album", and I'm pretty sure with Eric Singer being under contract with KISS, (no strangers to overly litigious behavior) things are gonna get interesting.

You're just gonna have to trust me - get a snack, and get comfortable. Then go to Metal Sludge, click on "Gossip Board", then "The Original Gossip Board". Scroll down until you see the thread title - "I heard FIFI LARUE..." You'll thank me later. MUCH later...

But one thing's for sure - I'm gonna have to get that guy to do an interview here!

January 7 - Links updated.
Did some more housecleaning and fixed up the Links page. With a few new additions and a general redesign, now you can surf the internet just like me. Lucky you.

FJ Radio has also been updated. Added tracks from Steeler, White Lion, and the criminally-overlooked Sound Barrier. To this day, I think that if Iron Maiden had recorded the song I'm featuring right now, 'Gladiator', it would have been one of their biggest hits. Just listen to the bass lines - it screams Steve Harris. Anyhow, they were a great band and I'm glad to have finally found a copy of this song on cd. Take a few hours to check it all out and discover something old!

January 6 - Adventures updated.
Added some new old pics to the Adventures With James page. They're the kind of pics that I've always meant to share, but they've never really fit in before. With the new feature, I'll be able to post all kinds of crazy stuff. Hope you enjoy seeing them as much as I've enjoyed living them.

Updating this section will be a pleasure!

January 5 - More stuff!
You might have noticed the new buttons on the navigation bar. If you didn't, that's ok. One of them is still under construction. That's the new Adventures With James page. Essentially, that'll just be an excuse to expense bouncing around the Caribbean on my taxes next year. It'll also be a great dumping ground for pics taken on vacation. It's up, but it's still being developed.

The other feature turned out very well. You might remember a few weeks ago when I printed an email from an really cool English rock band called DIRT. Well, that wasn't the end of the story. I asked them if they were up for doing an interview, and they agreed. With any luck, this will cement DIRT's position as major future rock stars, and all of you can become total music snobs because you will have heard about them before they broke big. So there's a new feature here called Famous Last Words.

Make sure you all check out the debut of that feature by reading DIRT's interview, and by visiting their website. Check out their music, sign their guestbook, and make plans to see them when they head this way.

That's enough work for today.

January 4 - Major FJ.com Staff Announcement!
There's all kinds of activity behind the scenes around here. Most often, it's along the lines of "That article really sucked". Or "When are you gonna get off of your ass and write something?" Or, "Don't post that pic - I hate it!". And the ever-popular "Anyone heard from the Hempered Chef lately? He hasn't been to work in months!" But sometimes, there's good news to share. Well, for most people, it's good news. Some of the female readers might be a bit disappointed at first.

The Happy Hour Chef decided to stop popping the cork, and popped the question instead. He's turning in his bachelor card, ladies. Here's a shot of him on Christmas Eve with his fiancee:

So this post is dedicated to the happy (hour) couple. Right on, buddy! And welcome to the FJ.com staff, Kathy... He did tell you about that part, didn't he?

Bachelor party details will be posted on a need-to-know basis, as necessary...

And come back tomorrow for ANOTHER site development, and a new feature!

January 2 - March 15, 1990.
Last weekend I was rearranging some furniture in my house, and transported some items from room to room. In one of the rooms, I found a photo album. It contained pics that had been taken many years before I ever had a scanner, a reason to scan, or anyone to show. I'll just say that these were hard to look at.

Only a handful of people have ever seen the next two photos. Frankly, they're not photos I'm comfortable sharing. But I'm gonna post them here anyway, if for no other reason than to demonstrate that the power of the human will is amazing, and that the mind can overcome nearly any physical challenge presented to it.

My friends know that I was in a serious car accident when I was 18. Most of my readers may have caught a million mentions of it over the years. I don't really remember much of it - my last conscious memory (besides having difficulty breathing due to cracked ribs and bruised lungs) was looking down at my legs, and seeing my left leg further right than my right leg. I remember thinking, "That can't be good". There are a few flashes of memory, but for the most part, nothing for three days. That's when I was taken out of intensive care and placed in a regular room.

Family members were told that I might not make it. I was told that I might not make it. I was also told that I would never walk normally again, if at all.

These are pictures of my car.

I was driving, and was hit broadside by another car traveling approximately 50 mph. If the other car would have hit 6 inches further in one direction, I'd have probably been killed instantly. If it had hit 6 inches further in the other direction, I'd have probably lost my leg.

I was in traction for 2 weeks. I spent several weeks in the hospital, had my hip surgically rebuilt, and endured months of physical therapy. I was in a wheelchair, then a walker, then crutches. I took my first steps again in early July, returned to Florida State in late August (walking with a cane), and returned to the stage to play music in November. I guess I can say that despite only playing for a few songs, (and barely moving), it was the best show I ever did.

I really wish I had pictures of that.

Then I set a bad example for myself and developed a trait that would become an Achilles Heel later in life... I never took any time off after that point. I attended every semester, including the summer sessions. I loaded up on classes and routinely took courseloads of 16-19 hours. Despite a 6 month handicap, I graduated on time. With honors.

I often wonder how my life would have been had I never endured that little forced vacation...

January 1 - I hate this logo.
Well, I only hate the pic of me that's in it... But I can't really keep using pics of when my hair was halfway down my back anymore without looking like some kind of jackass. I still wanted to go back to the summertime beach theme that permeates my entire existence, but without using graphics that date back to a time when I put actual effort into the site. That was a LONG time ago. Oh well. It's not like anyone really comes here just to look at pics of me. If that's the case, please seek immediate help.

Believe it or not, I'm actually working on a few new site features. I've always thought of it as more of a lifestyle site rather than just a blog. Blogs are updated regularly, timely, and focused. This is pretty much what's reflected in the logo - just a collection of electronic postcards. Some cutting, some sincere, some current, and some just a rambling mess of 80s-style incoherency. So in that spirit, there'll be a new photo gallery/travelogue called 'Adventures with James'. You can share in some of the more memorable trips, from the sneaking-out-early-on-Friday surf trips to the lost weekends following bands around to the sabbaticals in various tropical getaways. With any luck, this section will be updated regularly in the future. Lord knows I need a break!

In music news, FJ Radio will get another overhaul this week. Time to drop the holiday stuff and get back to the rock. Enjoy the 80s metal Christmas carols for another day or two.

There will also be a MAJOR FJ.com announcement this week involving the staff. It's a shocker, and it will change lives. As soon as the pics come in, you'll see.

Since it's New Year's Day, there's a plate of collard greens, a bowl of blackeyed peas, and a hearty serving of mashed potatoes. If tradition and superstition have any say (which they don't... but at least I actually like Southern food) it should be a prosperous year. Here's hoping all FJ.com readers, fans, and friends benefit from my indulgence too.