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May 30 - If you can read this... Regardless of our political differences, whatever we might individually think about the state of current events, it's important to collectively thank the people who voluntarily placed themselves in harm's way far from home in order for us to even have the privilege of disagreeing here. We need to honor their sacrifices, and cherish their memories. "Happy Memorial Day" seems like a contradiction, but I have an enormous sense of pride in America and reverence for our military, even if we've made our share of mistakes in our 200 year-plus history. If you can read this, so should you. Happy Memorial Day everyone! |May 28 - Saturday morning misogyny. I do want to know... What's with the chick who's gonna race in the Indianapolis 500? At the risk of venturing into late-night talk show level comedy... She could win, because no one will be able to pass her - she'll probably be yapping on her cell phone and inadvertently cutting everyone else off. With the turn signal blinking the other way... Then again, she'd probably stop and ask directions. And hell, there's no way she'll be able to drive 500 miles without stopping at least three times to pee. |May 24 - Fashion paper plate. So I take a few suits to the dry cleaners, joking that I'll probably spend more on the cleaning than I did on the suits. After all, the suits were only bought for three purposes - my wedding, my funeral, and my indictment. Let's just say that it's been a while since any of those occasions, and since none of them are on the horizon (unless the IRS is reading...) the suits are probably due for their millenial ironing. Maybe it's just been awhile since I've been to the dry cleaners (or worn a shirt with sleeves...), but isn't $20 to clean two suits a little high? Oh well. It's either that, or make the dreaded trip to a tailor to buy a new one. If it weren't for all of these lobster-faced tourists, shaped like apples perched atop two bendy-straws waddling across my beaches and bitching about humidity, I'd suggest setting nudity as the new standard for "casual wear", making it unnecessary to ever dry clean another suit. |May 23 - Responsibility rears its ugly head. When did it mean that I have to cut the lawn on the morning of my night shift? When did it mean that I have to clean the gutters in advance of the rainy season? That garden doesn't weed itself... And why aren't my pineapples growing? Strange that when I lived at home in the suburbs all I wanted was my own apartment in the city. When I got my own apartment in the city all I wanted was a house in the middle of nowhere. Now that I have a house far away from any kind of downtown, all I want is a boat and a few days off. But in the meantime, I'll settle for Tesla tickets. |May 20 - Trying to reason... Ironically, the only time it's really worth it to surf the Caribbean or the Atlantic ocean is either during the winter when it's too damn cold (hey, it only got to about 75 on a lot of those winter days...), or in advance of a storm. It looks like a bathtub right now, so I'm kinda hoping for a run through the Central Caribbean, a near miss of Puerto Rico, and for the storm to park itself about 600 miles North of St Croix. No casualties, and little destruction, unless it all happens to Kay Jewelers. That would make me very happy. Provided of course, that I can get the day off... |May 18 - Oh, fer Chrissakes... For those too lazy to read the article, it's essentially a chronicle of some "conservative" folks who think that George Lucas is slamming President Bush and Republican policy via Darth Vader. They accuse the filmmaker of indoctrinating children into liberal philosophy by aligning conservative politics with the Dark Side, and of criticizing current events through the movie. Anyone see a problem with this? IT'S A FRIGGIN' MOVIE, AND AN EXCUSE FOR SCHLOCKING CRAP TO KIDS AND NERDS. END OF STORY. If anything, the whole Star Wars phenomena sounds like a conservative one... Take a brilliant idea and with a little luck and a marketing plan, whore it out over generations to rake in as much money as humanly possible, regardless of how much the original vision might be destroyed in the process. I'll bet dollars to donuts that George Lucas is a KISS fan. Speaking of whoring out... I picked up the new Def Leppard cd, which marks the second double cd of Def Leppard's greatest hits released this year. Of course, they're in a different order on the new collection, and the fonts are different on the liner notes. I guess that counts, even though I generally play cds in random order when they're all familiar songs - that way there's at least some element of surprise and rediscovery. Included on the new cd is a cover of Badfinger's "No Matter What". I can hear the scratching of heads, the scrunching of brows, and the quizzical looks of folks wondering if it's the same band that wrote 'Rock N Roll Fantasy'. No, it's not. That was actually Lillian Axe, the first band to make "No Matter What" a hit. (I'll be sure to post the "corrections" I receive...) Also picked up some other cds that'll probably get added to FJ Radio in the very near future. Most notably, Chris Caffery's "Faces", Jake E Lee's "Retraced", Jon Oliva's Pain's "Tage Mahal", and Impelleteri's "Pedal To The Metal". |May 11 - This wasn't easy to do. 
I really need to stop working and devote all of my energy to preserving my energy, so I can spend more days doing this. |May 10 - Another Sirius score... I see in the future... Gene Simmons... releasing a statement... announcing the
creation of KISS Radio... which will have Hmmm... Who'd listen to FJ Satellite Radio? :-) |May 9 - What once was paranoia is now relaxation. Further enhancing my privacy fetish, I just bought a new phone with the highest standards of security. I've also hooked it up with the Telezapper, which automatically blocks my number from calls originating from telemarketing places and non-preprogrammed numbers. It gives a special ring when it's an unfamilar number, and if I pick up, it blasts the caller with a very unpleasant noise before removing my number from the database. And even though I was bitching about the rain coming on my day off last week, it helped nourish the vegetation on the back side of my property - making everything behind my house an unnavigable jungle all the way to the water, ensuring total privacy. Visiting my house from anywhere other than the main road will require a canoe, a machete, and most likely, antivenom. Then there's my fence... If Madonna would have married Sean Penn here, the paparazzi would have missed the whole thing. And I just planted more pineapple... Watch for me to appear on an upcoming episode of MTV's Cribs. |May 8 - Anyone got about $40 million I can borrow? So yeah, I'm kinda on a Van Halen kick right now, and after downloading every video from the Atomic Punks' site, and grinning like an idiot 'cause I loves me some classic Van Halen, have bestowed upon them the title of "James' Current Favorite Band". I just can't decide if that's a healthy thing for the music industry as a whole - is it really a good sign that my Current Favorite Band is a tribute act? Or, are things really so bad that a band can make a living in this day and age playing 20-year old cover songs because by comparison, the new stuff sucks? Food for thought... |May 7 - Eat this, Ken Jennings... Anyhow, I've been screwing around with it and won $52,000 in just one game. (I answered every question but two - one I didn't buzz in quick enough, and the other I got wrong... But other than that, I ran the table) There was one game in which I ended up with nothing, but that's because I refuse to be humble and hedge bets for Final Jeopardy just for the sake of winning the game. So I went from first place with an insurmountable lead to last place and dead broke in a matter of seconds. Just like Guns N Roses. The sweetest part - in my best game, the Final Jepoardy correct question was "Who is KISS?" I may never log off of the internet again. |May 6 - How 'bout some information please... HAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA! To those who defend her and that godawful show, please note that she has never directly denied the charges against her. She has never denied calling him, coaching him, or schtupping him. She has called his whistle-blowing the actions of an "admitted liar seeking to sell a book and a cd". Simply put, he's a cold hearted snake. This coming from a former cheerleader trying to sell a vocal performance on a cd where her lead vocals were triple-tracked and spliced with the vocals of other singers? Pot, kettle. Kettle, pot. What's most important here isn't that Paula was caught boning a young street urchin on borrowed talent, absent of intellect, and lacking in common sense. Despite Paula's earlier claim to the contary, opposites don't attract. While I certainly can (and will) laugh at the misfortune of others in this predicament, there's one little catch that seems to have been ignored thus far... American Idol is a game show. Contestants enter and compete for a prize. In that respect, American Idol is no different from Jeopardy or The Price Is Right. When the judging panel is caught interfering with the competition (and with cell phone records and a paper trail pointing right back to Paula, it's pretty obvious that inappropriateness abounded), a little organization called the FCC generally frowns upon it. If they find truth to any of these claims, consider Fox's cash cow milked. What would this mean for Ms Abdul? Uh-buh buh buh BYE, buh buh buh buh BYE. |May 5 - On this day... In other news, the FJ Radio playlist was updated in between nasty thunderstorms yesterday. The current theme is "Hey! They didn't write that!". Tune in and hear "Rock N Roll Hoochie Koo" by Danger Danger, "Beat The Bullet" by Killingbird, "Love Removal Machine" by Great White, and some very unlikely covers as well... Check out Saxon's version of Christopher Cross' "Ride Like The Wind", George Lynch and Vince Neil doing Black Sabbath's "Paranoid", and you can't forget about "Crazy Train" by, um... Pat Boone. Of course, there are some "standards" - cover versions that did better than the original songs, like "Signs" by Tesla, "Boom Boom (Out Go The Lights)" by Pat Travers, and Van Halen's version of "Ice Cream Man". So there's plenty of reasons to tune in, turn up, and drop... work. If you've got a suggestion for a theme, a request, or just a general comment send it to FJRadio@famousjames.com and we'll hook you up as best as we can. Stay tuned for another possible recurring site feature... It has the potential to be either cool, embarassing, or fun. We'll all see together, provided I can get it all to work. |May 4 - Figures. Oh well. At least my banana tree and pineapple grove will get watered, even if the lightning will necesitate unplugging everything in the house. As long as it doesn't get too stormy, it'll be a great day to update the playlist for FJ Radio. I'm working on another concept theme for it. Plop back in your hammock, turn it up, and see if you can figure it out. Think I'll head over to Dynasty Metal Music and pick up some cds now. It'd be a shame to waste time off not surfing AND not buying cds, y'know? |May 1 - R.I.P. Roadhouse If anyone affiliated with the Roadhouse is reading this, thanks for many years of top-quality concerts, and for daring to book the acts that no one would touch. You ran a first-class establishment, and I'm sure I speak for the majority of your patrons when I offer up a double-fisted devil horn salute in appreciation. I think I'm gonna go reminisce a bit and browse the Concert Gallery - those were some great times. | |
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I think I've made it abundantly clear that I loathe absolutely everything about American Idol. And now that Paula
Abdul, the talentless bimbette who has resurrected her decade-stagnant career by thanking bad singers for trying, has found
herself at the center of a sex and rigged-show scandal, I have but one reaction.
